Be careful with these magical logics, they are quietly harming your children.

If you think about it, we have many such adults. With this kind of divine logic: I think the most effective way to discipline is to scare the child with words or violence. I encountered something outside the kindergarten a few days ago that I have never forgotten. After school that day, I played with my son on the edge of the playground. Outside the railing, a pair of beautiful twin sisters also went home carrying schoolbags. A woman in her 50s was holding one of them. Here\’s the other kid! He looked a little naughty and squatted down under a tree beside the road. It seems that I found something interesting. I saw the adult urging, with a bit of dissatisfaction: \”You are like this every day, playing here and there on the way home, why don\’t you hurry up.\” The child did not move. She continued: \”I will tell your mother if you look like this. But your father also said that he will give you away because you are too bad.\” At this time, the child looked up at her and became interested in his words. \”I heard your father telling your mother the morning before yesterday that he wanted to give you away.\” \”No, no.\” \”Who told you not to listen to me.\” \”Send your sister away,\” she said carefully. At this time, the child begins to protect himself. \”Your sister is obedient and won\’t give it away, so I\’ll give it to you.\” \”But if you listen to me, maybe I\’ll keep you.\” If you hadn\’t heard this conversation through the railing. I really can\’t imagine that an adult would scare a child like this to make the child obey. What kind of children are the most obedient? Children who are more and more frightened by you should be considered one of them. A mother once left me a message saying that her child was very timid and did not dare to go to the toilet alone at home. It turns out that the elderly at home often scare the children when they are taking care of them. As long as the child cries, he will say: The red-haired monster is here, specializing in eating the hearts of crying children. If you don\’t obey me again, I\’ll give you to the red-haired monster as a baby. As a result, the child\’s inner sense of security is destroyed. I am becoming less and less courageous. Please reflect on this because they are still children. You may have come up with a myth or a joke. But the child will take it seriously. There is also the divine logic about the relationship between mother and child. In many families, the elderly take care of the children, so the children are close to the elderly. Especially after the elderly bring their children back to their hometown. When the mother comes home to see her child, in order to make the child cry less, the mother cannot sleep with her. I was afraid that the child would be attached to the mother, so I cut off my feelings. Is this really necessary? A mother said that she took leave to go back to her hometown to see her children. Because I can only visit a few times a year because the journey is too long and the work is too busy. Then those days when I go back. The child was a little nervous when he first met his mother. But it didn’t take long for her to become attached to her mother. He also said that he would sleep with his mother at night. At this time grandma was not happy. What should I do if he says this won\’t work and starts crying again after you leave? As a result, mother and son were so stiffly apart that night. She said she didn\’t sleep all night and really wanted to hug her son. Really don’t know what’s in between? What are you afraid of? I am afraid that my child will cry, so I suppress maternal love so hard. Cut off the attachment between parents and children? Children\’s attachment to their parents is a natural emotion. Spend one day with him if you can, and hug him as much as you can when he is little. I remember that Xiao Xiaoyu also went back to his hometown with his grandma to live for a long time. IWe go back every weekend. We all try to coax the little one into our room. Tell him a story or play an interesting game. The attachment between us has been continuously connected and consolidated. Only in this way will the child feel full of security. What the elderly need to take into consideration when raising children is that the love between generations can never replace the love between parents and children. Don\’t tell your children anything bad about their parents. Don\’t let your child lose close time with his mother because he is afraid that he will cry. I have the final say, no one else’s opinion matters. A mother sent me an email asking for help some time ago. He said that his son is 1 year old and 1 month old, and his husband insists on letting him go to kindergarten in the next year. She felt that her son was too young and it was winter. The child\’s physical condition was not good. She would vomit when she cried, and she wasn\’t ready. She thought it would be a little later. But no one listened. The child\’s father said: \”I have to go to school after the Chinese New Year, no one\’s say will count.\” (Do you feel like you have received an imperial edict?) The father felt that the child was timid and wanted to go to kindergarten to exercise early (when did kindergarten become a place for courage training?). The mother-in-law also insisted on sending it to support her son. (It seems that we are already a united front. We, the two of us, make the final decision regarding the children.) This is the case in many families: the elderly use their own experiences to raise their children. Plus a father who regards himself as the authority and makes decisions by slapping his forehead. Without a correct and clear understanding of the child, he follows the route he has drawn. For example, at what age should children do and learn? I have the final say. It doesn’t matter whether you can accept it, or whether your body can tolerate it. Children raised in such families often do not feel the atmosphere of democracy. It is easy to raise servile or hollow-minded children. Suhomlinsky mentioned in his book \”On Family Education\” that there are six aspects of educational influence on children and adolescents – first, family; second, teachers; third, collective; fourth, self-education; fifth, The first is books; the sixth is social environment. The growing environment of the native family plays a vital role in a child\’s life. \”I am teasing your child because I like him!\” \”Teasing\” children is a fun that we Chinese have a long tradition and enjoy it endlessly. Many people will tell you the answer: \”I only tease your child because I like him, but I don\’t tease other people!\” I remember that when my son was more than two years old, at his grandma\’s house, one of my mother\’s friends teased her son and said, \”Your mother doesn\’t want you anymore, right?\” , I didn’t see her taking you with her. She doesn’t even take you to play on weekends.” I said this sentence several times. I heard it in the kitchen and felt very uncomfortable. To be honest, next time I encounter someone saying this to my child, no matter who she is, I will have to argue with her, because this joke is very hurtful. How can any mother not want her own child? Maybe because everyone knows the answer, they think it\’s okay to joke about it. But does the child know the answer? Children will believe it, especially if several people say it repeatedly. In the story of \”Three men become tigers\” and \”Zengzi kills people\”, many people tell it, and even adults believe it. What\’s more, if you are a child, when your words to tease a child are recognized by the child, the consequences in the child\’s mind will probably never be felt by you. I never thought about it. Children willIf you are anxious, you may even hate your mother and resist your mother, causing the child to feel insecure. This is very damaging to the child\’s growth. Please have some moral integrity and play in a different way. Even if you just smile at my child, I will be happy inside. You must know that our children are not playthings, animals or toys. They are independent individuals and beings with souls who need to be treated equally and respected. Parents should be careful not to bring this kind of divine logic to themselves, nor to let such divine logic harm their children.