Because of his introversion, my child shines brightly…

Two days ago, my nephew was criticized by his grandma again. The reason was that when a few guests came to the house, the little guy immediately hid in his room and read a fairy tale book. The grandma finally pulled her nephew out of the room, but as soon as he walked in front of the guests, his face turned red and he refused to say \”Hello, uncle and aunt\”. After seeing off the guests, he began to teach his nephew, \”Binbin, don\’t be too introverted and shy. When you see uncles and aunts, you should take the initiative to say hello.\” The nephew nodded sheepishly and remained silent. Grandma is very worried. She thinks that Binbin is good in everything, but he is too introverted. He may suffer a lot when he goes out into society in the future. She has always hoped to make her nephew more outgoing and talkative, like other children, who can talk openly and openly. However, will introverted children really suffer when they grow up? not necessarily. What exactly is introversion? Many people I know view \”introversion\” and \”extroversion\” this way: extroverts are courageous, healthy, sociable, empathetic, and courageous to fight for. They should be more capable and easier to please. People like; introverts are clumsy, dull, and have low self-esteem. They often withdraw from social activities and have eccentric personalities. They are unhealthy and uncompetitive. In one sentence, extroversion is good, and introversion is bad. But the psychology community doesn’t think so. Many, many years ago, psychologist Carl Gustav Jung first coined the terms \”introversion\” and \”extroversion\” in his book \”Psychological Typologies.\” As a typical introvert, Jung described it this way in his own discussion. The difference in personality mainly comes from the different sources of psychological energy: the energy of extroverts comes from interpersonal communication; while the energy of introverts comes from being alone. , and frequent interpersonal interactions are actually a kind of psychological wear and tear for them. In addition to Jung, many psychologists have spoken about introversion and extroversion. In their argument, there is no absolute good or bad distinction between introversion and extroversion. Introverts value their inner world more and pay more attention to their own thoughts, opinions and emotions, while extroverts value the outside world more. Working and learning among new people and things will make them feel happy and joyful; Introverts can recharge in silence, while extroverts prefer to recharge by participating in parties and chatting with a group of people; introverts like to delve into the depth of things, and they will be more focused, while extroverts prefer to explore. The breadth of life, they are more lively and enthusiastic. The difference between introversion and extroversion is that. Introverted children are not unhappy. A mother once told me that she did not want her children to be introverted and immersed in their own little world, which would make them lonely and unhappy. It would be better to see more of the real world in life, that would be happy. This is what I told this mother. In fact, introverted children may not be unhappy. She is getting happiness in her own way, but you can\’t feel it yet. For extroverted children, going to school and chatting with uncles and aunts is a natural joy; while introverted children are looking at pictures andYou can also feel the joy of enrichment and joy when reading books and relaxing yourself. Although children obtain happiness in different ways, there is actually no difference in the happiness they obtain. Far away, such as Nobel, Marie Curie, Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Chaplin, Audrey Hepburn; closer, such as Bill Gates, Putin, Reddy Gaga, many of the celebrities we are familiar with are They are introverts, but they have all said that they can feel great happiness when they work tirelessly in the fields that interest them. As Nabokov said: “Everyone experiences, to a greater or lesser extent, a struggle between two forces: the desire for solitude and the urge to get out. Introversion, that is, the interest in one’s own inner active thoughts and fantasies; and extroversion , interest in people and visible things outside.\” It\’s just that introverts have a stronger power to turn inwards, and their happiness is gained more through getting along with themselves. ▼Introversion should not become a collective label of \”negative problem\”. Compared with extroverted children, introverted children have their own unique character advantages. Pay attention to the details of things Introverted children generally pay more attention to the details of things. Because introverts are more sensitive, sensitive people are particularly concerned about what others think of them, so they will do better in details. They expect to be liked by others, so they are careful and sensitive, like to listen, and are unwilling to offend others or cause trouble to others. Higher ability to delay gratification Delay of gratification is an important skill, which has a close impact on the development of living habits and learning effects. Children with high ability to delay gratification tend to be better able to control academic performance, income, and even weight when they grow up. 1v1 Social Skills Many parents feel that introverted children are not sociable and will be unpopular in the group. But according to research by Susan Cain, she believes that it is actually a misunderstanding that introverted children cannot socialize. In her research, she found that introverted children just have different ways of socializing than extroverted children, but they also need to build friendships with their peers. This kind of friendship is different from the vigorous extroverted friendship. Introvert\’s friendship is often quieter and more profound. In addition to the above-mentioned advantages, many reports also claim that introverted children also have advantages in a series of abilities such as creativity and concentration. But in life, we rarely see parents praising their children’s “introversion”. Instead, they always say that “introversion” brings all kinds of troubles to their children’s growth. I have always had doubts about this, and I didn’t know the reason until a while ago. In a mother exchange group, a mother was saying that her child was too introverted and had poor academic performance. She wanted to ask if there was any way to make her child less introverted. This topic was raised, and it immediately attracted the participation of many mothers. “My child is too introverted and doesn’t like to play with other children.” “My child is not interested in learning and is a bit withdrawn. He is really too introverted.” “My child is introverted. He plays by himself when he gets home and doesn’t do his homework. What should I do if she takes the initiative to talk to us?”… After reading so many questions from mothers, I found that all the questions can be answeredIt boils down to this: because the child is introverted and sensitive, he encounters so many problems. When faced with problems for which we don’t know the cause, we often need a label to soothe our anxiety and uneasiness. When we label our children, we seem to feel a sense of security in our hearts, thinking that the problems our children encounter are actually not difficult, and there is always a way to solve all problems. Maybe at this moment, I don’t know how to solve the problem, but I believe that the experts and big Vs will definitely have a way; even if the child’s problem cannot be solved, then we are not alone in the sea, there are many people who have the same problem. Confusion and anxiety, so the psychological pressure is not so deep. This is the reason why many parents feel that \”introversion\” is bad. Because \”introversion\” can be used as a label that can explain many problems and make oneself less lonely. But if you taste these problems carefully, you will find that the source of the problem is not necessarily introversion. During the subsequent communication, I discovered that the child who didn’t like to play with children had just moved to a new city with his parents. Facing a new environment, a new accent, and a new life, he needed more time. To adapt; that child who doesn\’t like to study, their class has just changed a class teacher, and the new class teacher doesn\’t pay as much attention to him as before, and he feels that he is no longer taken seriously; that child who doesn\’t care about others heard from his parents a few days ago I was quarreling and wanted a divorce, and I was at a loss. ….Many times, when we label our children as \”introverts,\” it is neither the cause nor the answer to the problem. To better help our children, we need to be more attentive and understand the real reasons why our children behave the way they do. Some tips for parents with “introverted” children. Introversion and extroversion are both aspects of personality. There is neither high nor low, nor is there good or bad. When children show introversion, we don’t need to worry too much. 1. Don’t treat introversion as a child’s character flaw: As we said before, many introverts eventually achieve brilliant careers, and many leaders are also introverts. Introverts are more focused on doing things and are more likely to get happiness from the things themselves. These are the competitive advantages of introverted children. We don’t need to worry too much about how our children will suffer from this in the future. 2. Teach children how to express their feelings: Introverted children are not good at expressing themselves and often do not take the initiative to express their feelings when they encounter certain things. Therefore, you can tell them that everyone should learn to express their feelings. For example, when someone takes away a toy, you can tell your child that if you don\’t want to, you can politely but firmly refuse. 3. If you are an introvert, please don’t think that your children are repeating your own history: maybe you once had some bad experiences in childhood because of your introversion. Please don’t think that these things will also happen to your children. Don\’t rush to tell him some of your own experiences, either. Children have their own lives, and letting them learn to deal with problems independently may be a better way for them to explore. 4.​ See “character” from a growth perspective and no longer regard “introversion” as a child’s personality label. It is true that the labels we put on our children can help us understand them, but sometimes they make children’s lives less interesting. possibility. Tear off the \”introversion\” label on children, and when we look at the child\’s personality from a growth perspective, we will find that many problems that appear to be \”introversion\” have nothing to do with \”introversion\”. Children\’s various behaviors are due to a lack of security and lack of self-confidence. When facing introverted children, you might as well give them more praise and encouragement. When children have the courage to get in touch with new things and play with different children, you may find that those novel and fun experiences will work with \”introversion\” to reshape the child\’s personality, and the child\’s life will also gain more than \”introversion\” ” The richness. Don’t be troubled by your child’s “introversion” anymore. Our worries and anxieties are the most unnecessary things for our children. Every child has his own path of growth. Please believe that with our company, your child will eventually become the best version of himself.