Raising a child is like \”leveling up to fight monsters.\” Only by \”unlocking\” the previous levels can the road ahead be easier to follow. Many parents think that raising adolescent children is like opening a \”blind box\”: whether he will be rebellious or not depends entirely on luck. But in fact, the rebellion of adolescent children is based on his childhood. Did he only remember to resist you and lose his temper with you when he reached puberty? No, the person your child will rebel against in adolescence may not be you now, but the you who accompanied him for more than ten years during his upbringing. Psychologist Erikson proposed the \”eight stages\” of life development. Each stage has tasks for the child to develop and \”crises\” to overcome. If a child does not \”unlock\” smoothly at a certain stage, he may develop some bad personality traits and accumulate negative emotions. These traits and emotions will accompany the child into the next stage and even affect the child\’s life. According to psychology, a child’s early experiences account for up to 80% of their future impact. Especially the first three years of a child\’s life are called the \”golden three years\”. This is the most critical period for shaping the child\’s character and quality. Let’s take a look at how these “golden years” of children affect them. 1-year-old cultivates children\’s sense of trust. Does a 1-year-old baby have no IQ, no ability, and doesn\’t understand anything? no! When Professor Li Meijin talked about raising children aged 0-3, she said: \”No matter how hard and tiring the first year of the child\’s life is, the mother must take care of it herself.\” Why? Professor Li Meijin explained: \”If the mother leaves the child with her grandma not long after the child is born, she is busy with work. Then whenever the child feels sad in the future, the first person he wants to see will definitely be his grandma. If there is a conflict between the mother and grandma, the child will She must be rejecting the mother from the grandma.\” After ten months of pregnancy and how many years of raising the child, it is not worth the care of the child in the first year of life? Many mothers may be angry and blame their children for being a white-eyed wolf. But do you know why the first year of life is so important to a child? Erikson\’s \”Eight Stages of Life Theory\” classifies 0-1.5 years old as the first stage of life. At this stage, the child\’s most important task is to develop a sense of trust. During the first year of life, a child develops an attachment relationship with his or her primary caregiver. When he is hungry, this person will feed him in time; when he cries, this person will respond in time; when he is sleepy, this person will coax him to sleep. Early in life, a child develops a deep attachment to this person and develops a sense of trust. His trust in the world, and his trust in himself, comes from this primary nurturer. For many years to come, or even throughout his life, he would reflect this sense of trust to the outside world. Whenever a feeling of \”trust\” arises, subconsciously, a connection is established with this person. A child who has gained a \”sense of trust\” will have an optimistic and positive attitude in his future life. But if there is no primary caregiver during the year, let him build trust. In his character background, he will be insecure, full of fear, and look at things pessimistically. Therefore, in the first year after a child is born, although he cannot speak, walk, or do anything, his personality is already beginning to form at this time.. If a mother wants her child to be easier to take care of and closer to you in the future, then she should raise her child to at least one year old. How to cultivate children\’s concentration training manual full set of high-definition video + pdf Cultivate children\’s sense of autonomy at the age of 2 At the age of 2, children can already speak, walk, and operate. 1.5-3 years old is the second stage of the \”Eight Stages of Life\”. At this stage, the main task of children\’s development is to obtain a \”sense of autonomy.\” I don’t know if you have ever heard of a saying: “A child of one and a half years old is rummaging through jars and jars.” It refers to a one or two-year-old child who is keen on rummaging through boxes and cabinets. If you have a 2-year-old child at home, it’s really difficult to keep your home clean and tidy! You sweep in front, and the baby falls behind. You just folded your clothes and put your socks away. The baby is busy \”helping\” you to dig them out one by one and throw them on the ground. What are you doing, baby? In fact, he just wants to gain a sense of autonomy by controlling his body. We can make this analogy: a baby has been lying in swaddling clothes for a year and needs help from others for everything. It\’s like a patient who is \”paralyzed\” in bed. But suddenly one day, this \”patient\” recovered, could get out of bed, walk, and jump around. How would he react? Do you want to touch this and that, and then walk around and enjoy the joy of \”healing\” your body? This is the joy of 1-3 year old babies – gaining a sense of autonomy that allows them to control their bodies at will. If at this stage, we are more tolerant and patient, and allow him to explore more, then he can gain a sense of autonomy. And he has the beautiful qualities of strong independence, self-control and self-discipline. But if we don’t allow him to do this at this stage, we won’t allow him to touch or even hit his hand. The child will unconsciously develop a sense of \”shame\” and self-doubt. And when I grow up, I am not determined when things happen, and it is easy to give up halfway. Cultivating children\’s sense of initiative at the age of 3 According to psychology, the age of 3 is a watershed in a child\’s life. Babies before 3 years old are called \”babies\”. Babies aged 3-6 are called \”toddlers\”. Before the age of 3, a child\’s life is generally dominated by his parents, but after the age of 3, he hopes to take the initiative to do things on his own. Erikson\’s third stage of life is to develop a \”sense of initiative.\” At this stage, children have their own ideas and do not want to be \”told\” what to do or how to do it all the time. He has his own opinions and hopes to accomplish something by relying on his own ideas and strength. For children at this stage, the mantra may be \”I\’ll do it\”: I\’ll put the dishes and chopsticks, I\’ll make the milk, I\’ll put on clothes… I saw a baby on the Internet who wanted to help her mother pack the lunch box When I took it, I accidentally knocked over the lunch box. When the mother came over, she saw the food scattered on the floor, but she did not lose her temper. She just hugged her daughter gently and said, \”Did you accidentally spill it? Then be careful next time, okay?\” After that, the mother just warned her. The child stayed still while she went to find tools to clean. Seeing how this mom handled it really made me feel great! When a child is 3 years old, his favorite thing to do is to help. And they are \”clumsy\” and often \”unhelpful\”. If we can\’t help but scold you at this time,and stop, then the child will form the habit of withdrawing. He doesn\’t take the initiative when encountering problems and is afraid of making mistakes. He does whatever others ask him to do. And if the parents handle it in the same way as the mother above, the child will not develop a feeling of \”guilt\”. On the contrary, he will have a \”sense of initiative\” while constantly exploring. Children with a \”sense of initiative\” will accomplish something purposefully, plannedly, and strategically in their future lives. Moreover, he will be very confident. When faced with difficulties, he feels that he can find a solution. The first three years of a child’s life may seem uneventful. He can neither read nor write, nor can he write or do math. But their characters laid the foundation for decades to come at this time. Okay, that’s it for talking about the first three years of a child’s life. I hope you don’t regret reading it too late.
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