Before the final exam, these are the 4 things you should not say to your children! Especially the last sentence

The final exam is getting closer and closer, and the children have entered the intense review stage. Some parents asked me in the background: My children are getting more and more impetuous as the exams get closer. What should I do? I urge him to review quickly every day, and I can say it eight hundred times a day, but the child is not only not in a hurry, but also looks impatient and ignores me. Here, Rui’s mother would like to remind all parents that the more critical this period is, the more calm they must be. The child himself is under a lot of pressure at this time and will be more sensitive than usual. Therefore, parents must pay attention to the way they speak at this time. Some words must not be said to their children at this time, as they will have a great psychological impact on their children before the exam. Why are you so stupid? What do you usually listen to in class? When parents accompany their children to do homework or check their children\’s homework, if they find that their children are wrong in something that shouldn\’t be wrong, it is easy to blurt out: \”You can make such a simple mistake? How can you be so stupid? What do you usually listen to in class? \”He does not mean that. In fact, sometimes parents act like children in front of their children and are not very good at controlling their emotions, so they say such mindless things. But when children hear their parents talking about themselves in this way, it is easy for children to have negative emotions and feel that they have been denied, and then they may lose their enthusiasm for learning. If a child happens to be an introvert and has low self-esteem, and is often called stupid by his parents, it will greatly hurt the child\’s self-esteem and make the child feel that no matter how hard he works, he is still a \”stupid child.\” It is normal for children to make mistakes. Maybe he just happened to forget this knowledge point, maybe it was just a small mistake, but it is too hasty for parents to immediately label their children as \”stupid\”. During the final review period, children are also under a lot of pressure. Parents should control their emotions at this time and not let their negative emotions affect their children. Give them more encouragement and positive influence, and give them more patience than usual. , helping children build up confidence before the exam, adjust their mentality, find out the root of the problem and solve it, is the most important thing to do before the exam. You must take the test well this time and surpass whoever you want! Do the parents who say this really don’t think their children are too stressed before exams? It is said that you should be calm during exams, but parents have set goals for their children to surpass in advance, so that there is always an \”imaginary enemy\” in their children\’s hearts. How can they review with peace of mind? On the one hand, the child is thinking \”I must surpass him\” and on the other hand, he is worried that he cannot surpass him. Under the double attack of these two psychology, the child can only suffer. First of all, parents should let their children know that studying and taking exams are not for others, but for themselves. As a result, when parents say this, it is easy for children to feel that they may not be as good as so-and-so, so parents compare themselves with him. However, comparing children with the legendary \”other people\’s children\” is the most damaging thing to a child\’s self-esteem. When children are unable to achieve their goals, they can easily develop an inferiority complex and develop negative emotions such as confusion and anxiety. And the biggest problem for parents is that they only pay attention to the comparison of children\’s scores without considering the actual situation of the children.. Every child has its own advantages and disadvantages. Parents should not make blind comparisons. If you want to stimulate your children\’s sense of competition, you can compare your children\’s yesterday with today. As long as there is progress, it is worthy of recognition. Especially before exams, parents should praise their children\’s progress to help them build self-confidence so that they can enter the exam room with confidence. You should concentrate on your review this time, and you don’t have to worry about anything else! Parents feel that they value their children’s exams more than the children themselves. In order to allow their children to concentrate on their review, parents are willing to become \”nannies\” and can\’t wait to feed their children every meal. However, if a child only focuses on studying every day, can he really learn it? We all say that we should pay attention to the balance between work and rest when studying, but when children sit there for hours reading and reviewing, is the efficiency really high? In addition, parents who sacrifice themselves to help their children will inevitably develop a sense of self-superiority in their children. They feel that they are the boss of the family when they are studying, and that everyone else has to listen to their orders. Over time, the child will even use studying as an excuse to threaten the parents. Whenever the parents ask him to do something, he will shirk the fact that he still has many questions that he has not reviewed. In this way, the parents will not dare to disturb him. And once the child\’s performance is not satisfactory, the responsibility will be put on the parents, because you made him work. For such a child who only shirks away when things happen and has no sense of responsibility, what\’s the use of studying no matter how good he is? Children\’s life should be rich and colorful, and should not be limited to learning. The exam is only a test of the child\’s learning quality at one stage, and does not represent the child\’s learning ability or future. Parents should not pay too much attention to it. Allowing children to do what they can in family life and shoulder their family responsibilities is conducive to cultivating children\’s independence. It can also help children relax in their heavy study life and experience the warmth of family. If you do well in the exam, you will be rewarded. If you do not do well, you will be punished. This is a common method used by many parents. Before the exam, make an agreement with your child that if the results are satisfactory this time, you will buy your child a favorite. If the child does not do well in the exam, the child will be punished by not being allowed to watch TV for a month or not buying toys for a month. This kind of agreement seems to be an incentive for the children, but in fact, it is not good for the children. When parents present rewards as a lure for learning, it is actually a \”bribery\” method for adults to ask their children to reward themselves with results. It makes children no longer have a pious heart for learning, but they focus on how to exchange for prizes and how to please their parents. This will make the child\’s mind always suspended in mid-air, worried about gains and losses, vain and impetuous, making it difficult to be distracted and down-to-earth in learning. And as far as today\’s children are concerned, they don\’t have much material shortage, so material rewards cannot really stimulate their enthusiasm. Even if it can bring some motivation, it will only be temporary and will not last long. Learning requires a perseverance attitude. When children are punished for failing to achieve goals, they are prone to anxiety and fear due to fear of punishment, and may even lose interest in learning.In the subsequent study life, the fear of being punished again creates pressure to study, causing children to get further and further away from their parents\’ expectations. Achievements are only temporary, growth lasts a lifetime. If a child\’s learning ability can grow in every exam, it will have a positive impact on the child\’s life.