Behind every failed child, there is a parent like this

Recently, a piece of news about an elementary school student who was thrown on the roadside by his own mother because of poor grades became a hot search topic. During the patrol, the police found that a little boy was lost. It was not until his uncle came to pick him up that he found out that the little boy was a third-grade primary school student. When his mother picked him up, he got angry because his test scores were not satisfactory. Leaving him on the side of the road. Seeing the helpless look of the little boy, I couldn\’t help but feel distressed. This mother\’s simple and crude education methods were also condemned by netizens: \”The education methods are very lacking. I hope more people will consider the problem from the perspective of the children.\” \”Stupid education methods will only harm the children.\” The mood of a woman becomes a phoenix, but when the child fails to meet her own expectations, she should not adopt a negative attitude towards the child, but should pay attention to scientific methods. Professor Li Meijin once said: \”Children\’s problems are often caused by adults. Every psychological or behavioral problem of a child must be related to the behavior of the parents and the education methods of the parents.\” If parents are too focused on winning or losing, they will It will seriously affect the child\’s psychology and make the child unable to accept failure. When facing setbacks, you may even feel afraid of losing and afraid of difficulties, which will make it more difficult to win in the future. On the surface, this story seems to be about a child failing in his homework, but in fact it reflects the problems of the parents behind it. You know, failure is normal in life. A parent who cannot afford to lose cannot raise children who can win. Blind blaming is the weapon that hurts children the most. There is a question on Zhihu: When a child fails, what is it like for parents to only blame? An anonymous netizen shared her story: When I was a child, I was extremely scared every time after taking a test. My first reaction was that I was going to be scolded again. Whenever I failed in an exam, my mother would say: \”Why did I give birth to such a stupid thing like you? With your grades, what can you do in the future? Are you going to pick up garbage? Are you going to be a beggar? Think about it for yourself!\” I didn’t even dare to participate in any competitive activities because I was afraid of losing. The fear of losing made me become more and more cautious. I feel sorry for my cowardice. I have some low self-esteem, maybe a serious low self-esteem. After reading it, I couldn\’t help but feel very sad. Adults can\’t bear the pain of failure, but while children suffer failure, they also have to face criticism from their parents. This is too cruel for a child. As Sun Ruixue said in \”Love and Freedom\”: A child who grows up under beatings and scolds cannot see objective reality, and suffering causes him to lose the ability to grasp the essence of things. He may have struggled with a difficult childhood experience throughout his life, searching for self-esteem and proving himself. The overwhelming abuse and accusations are like a sharp thorn piercing deeply into the child\’s heart, and this wound will never heal, leaving only pain with the child. When children encounter failure, it is often the time when parents need their understanding and support the most. Blind blaming will not only fail to make the child stronger, but will intensify the child\’s sadness, and ultimately become the weapon that hurts the child the most. Encouragement from parents is the driving force for children to move forward. Some time ago, Liu Guoliang\’s eldest daughter Yingying won the national championship after last year\’s golf world championship! The excellence of his daughter also put Liu Guoliang on the hot search list. Yingying started learning to play ball at the age of three and was able to achieve great results at such a young age.Such achievements are inseparable from the encouragement of parents. Liu Guoliang, who has a background as an athlete, knows that winning and losing on the competition field is a very normal thing, so whenever his daughter loses, he will say: \”It doesn\’t matter, just hit the next stroke well.\” He never denied hitting his daughter, but told her: There will be a chance next time. With her father\’s encouragement, her daughter has become more and more confident, and will even comfort her mother when she loses: \”It doesn\’t matter if I didn\’t play well this time, I will just play the next shot well.\” Parents\’ attitude towards failure will affect how children view their own abilities. Parents\’ encouragement is a ray of light in life for children, giving them the courage and confidence to move forward. Psychologist William James once said: The deepest need of human nature is the desire to be appreciated and praised by others. Every child longs for encouragement from his parents when he encounters failure. Only children who are encouraged will have the confidence to work hard and fight hard, and can bring different surprises to their parents. Encouragement from parents is the driving force for children to move forward. Parents with foresight know how to encourage their children when they fail. In this way, children can grow up healthy and happy. How should parents respond to their children\’s failure? Parents\’ attitude towards their children\’s failure determines their children\’s future heights. When their children fail, how should parents respond correctly? You might as well try the following methods. 1. Provide timely comfort to help children calm down their emotions. Wu Zun once shared on Weibo that neinei participated in the Asian dance competition. For this competition, neinei practiced hard day and night, but still failed. neinei cried because she really wanted to win. Wu Zun also shed tears because he knew that Neinei had paid a lot for this game, but while feeling distressed, he also hoped that his daughter could learn from the experience and understand that the process is more important than the result. In order to appease his daughter\’s emotions, he took neinei to swim after the game to vent his pain and shared his experience of failure with his daughter. With her father\’s comfort, neinei gradually felt relieved about her failure. After swimming, she and her father happily ate dinner together. Children\’s mental development is immature, so that they cannot treat failure rationally. Parents\’ understanding and comfort can make children feel that they are not alone in bearing the pain, and help children alleviate the pain in their hearts. 2. Encourage children to be able to lose. In \”Mom is Superman\”, Sha Deng takes his son to participate in rugby lessons in order to improve his physical fitness. When competing in groups with other children, Dalinzi suffered repeated defeats. The considerate coach sent him the weakest opponent, hoping that he would win once. But Dalinzi still lost the game. Seeing her son who had failed continuously, Deng Sha not only did not show any anxiety, but happily shouted to her son: Well done, you are great. In this regard, Deng Sha explained in a backstage interview: In fact, I don\’t value winning or losing that much. I also hope that Dalinzi can understand this from me and not value winning or losing too much. Not only my kids can lose, I can lose too, someone is always going to lose, not everyone can win. Professor Dai Jinhua of Peking University said: The first lesson in life, and also a lifelong lesson, is to learn how to afford to lose. encourageOnly when children accept their imperfections and become a person who can afford to lose can they shine in the future. 3. Give affirmation to children. Psychologist Wu Zhihong said: When a child\’s vitality is seen, it will become good, such as enthusiasm and love; when a child\’s vitality is not seen, it will become black, such as anger. , attacks are destructive. Children who fail fail to receive recognition from the outside world and need more recognition from their parents. Children who do not receive recognition are like fish that are short of water and will gradually lose their vitality. Only children who receive recognition in failure can grow happier. Parents all have good expectations for their children, but they ignore that what really makes children grow is never the abuse and blame when they fail, but teaching them how to face failure. There are inevitably many thorns and ups and downs on the road of life. If you want your children to be more courageous with every setback, please don’t be stingy with your encouragement when your children fail. Give your children a big hug and give them enough courage to overcome the difficulties and obstacles in the future. This is the best love that parents can have for their children.