Behind the characteristics of outstanding children…

What would you do if your child could fly? In Pixar\’s award-winning short film \”Gone with the Wind\”, there is such a boy who can fly. The father took his child out to play and unexpectedly discovered that his child could fly. Other children stay in the arms of their parents obediently, but his child will fly away from his father\’s arms if he is not careful. Seeing the strange looks from others, the father felt extremely embarrassed and quickly grabbed the floating child and ran home. After taking the child home, he collapsed on the ground helplessly. [Children\’s Bedtime Stories] Collector\’s Edition of 300 Classic Philosophical Stories In order not to be discussed by others, he never let his children go out again. But as the boy grew older, his desire to go outside became increasingly difficult to control. In desperation, the father took out a rope and tied it to the boy. The schoolbag on the boy\’s back was also filled with heavy stones. It seemed foolproof. What I didn\’t expect was that the boy, who was dazzled by the colorful world outside, was so excited that he forgot all his father\’s instructions. Without paying attention, he broke free from his restraints and ran happily to the playground. In the eyes of everyone with surprise and fear, Floating everywhere. Seeing all this, the father ran in like crazy, grabbed the child and dragged him out. But the boy who has grown up is full of strength, and his father can no longer catch him as easily as he did when he was a child. The father\’s despair and anger reached the peak. He pinched the boy\’s shoulders and shouted: \”Can\’t you be normal?\” The boy was frightened by his father\’s expression. He lowered his head and retreated to the ground, put on his hat, and silently hid his tears and sadness. stand up. The anger that had been suppressed for so long was finally vented. Dad felt extremely guilty. He looked forward at the crowd of onlookers, looked back at the road home, and looked down at the child in his arms who had his eyes closed but was still crying. He finally A decision was made: he picked up the boy and rushed to the playground to swing on the swing. Sensing something unusual, the boy quietly opened his eyes and saw his father\’s eyes full of encouragement and recognition. This time, he cracked the corner of his mouth, and in his father\’s smile, he had no fear, no longer felt inferior, and could fly freely. In the entire film, the sentence that touched me the most was the voice-over of the father when he was hesitating about what to do: \”He wants his child to be himself. As long as he is happy, it doesn\’t matter if he is different from others.\” Yes, it looks different from other children, so what? The father\’s initial intention was to protect his children, but as a saying goes: \”Suppression is both protection and harm.\” Every child has more or less unsociable characteristics. In the film, the boy\’s difference is that he can fly, but in life, children have all kinds of differences. Just like some children, their learning ability may be a little worse than others; some children may grow a little slower than others; some children may not have as perfect personalities as others… Children can have their own differences, but the love and love of their parents Respect makes no difference. Accept every difference in your child, no matter how big or small. And the unconditional love and respect of parents in childhood is the light that heals the child\’s life through the cracks in adulthood. Psychological counselor Huang Shiming once said: \”Really powerful parents have anti-involution constitutions. They are willing to squat down, look into their children\’s eyes and tell them, youThere is no need to make changes, you are just the way you are and your parents can love you. When you give your children respect, they will be more willing to take responsibility for their actions, work harder to find solutions, and do better. \”It\’s not that children are not good, it\’s that we haven\’t discovered their excellent Oscar-winning animated film \”Ugly Dolls\”. There are a group of ugly dolls of different shapes living together in Doll Town. Most of the dolls here do not meet the public\’s aesthetic requirements, some are too tall, and some are Too short, some facial features are misaligned, and some have weird personalities. Although they are not favored by children, it still does not prevent them from having a different light: Babao has a long reflex arc and is greedy, but it is brave and responsible, and can play in small children. Friends immediately lend a helping hand when they are in danger. Xiao Xi is usually naughty and likes to do tricks, but he is delicate and kind. When the boys are in crisis, he can calmly analyze the problem and lead everyone to overcome the difficulties. If you carefully Upon closer inspection, almost every child has the shadow of these ugly dolls in this animation. They have shortcomings in the secular value system, or in the minds of their parents, but they also have countless shining points. If each of them is considered If a child is compared to a flower, then they bloom different flowers with different flowering periods. Maybe it’s not that children are not outstanding, it’s just that we lack the eyes to discover outstanding children. Some time ago, I was chatting with a friend, and she said that one day she and her adolescent son met again. After a particularly intense quarrel due to study problems, she sat on the sofa and cried while looking through videos of her son when he was a child. Suddenly, she discovered that the son she now despises was once a baby in her eyes who was full of advantages. He is very kind, and even throws broken glass into the trash can before throwing it away; he is very brave, and when she and her husband are arguing, he will use his small body to stand in front of her and say not to bully my mother; He worked very hard. Although his grades were not good enough, he never gave up and continued to study. She found that it was not that the child was not outstanding, but that her own desire to ask her child to be perfect blocked her eyes from seeing the child\’s excellence. There is a saying: \”Every child\’s growth There are different potentials, there is no distinction between high and low, parents just need to follow the trend. \”Meyer Musk, the mother of Iron Man Elon Musk, once said in her book that when her three children were young, she was constantly observing their interests and strengths and potentials, and encouraged them They try more on their own track. The eldest son, Elon, has shown computer talent since he was a child. She will help Elon submit the computer games he writes to magazines; the second son, Kimball, likes to study food since he was a child, so she is assured Kimball, who is only 12 years old, has full control over family meals, and even allows him to try a variety of novel dishes; the youngest daughter Tosca\’s biggest love is drama. After discovering her daughter\’s talent, she will Accompanying my daughter, I watch movies on the sofa every Friday night, and support my daughter, who is only in seventh grade, to take over the drama club. Teacher Yu Minhong said with emotion in his speech: \”Every child has his own development direction. \”Magnifying the child\’s strengths, treating the shortcomings as characteristics, and seeing the true face of the child is the true love and respect that parents have for their children. Not every child must grow into a towering tree.An Xiangyi, who is called \”the hope of the whole village\” by the figure skating community, relied on her mother\’s crazy involvement to transform herself from a child with some figure skating genes into a famous young figure in the figure skating community. But the price of all this is not easy. In an interview, An Xiangyi’s mother revealed that when she was 2 months old, An Xiangyi was held in her arms and practiced spinning in circles. When she was a little older, she began to practice blowing Category 7 winds. She started running 4,000 meters when she was 7 years old. In order to let her daughter focus on figure skating, she even cut off all escape routes for her daughter, not allowing her to take cultural classes or socializing, and she spent almost all of her time at the training ground. What\’s even more exaggerated is that she asked the doctor to observe her daughter\’s physical limit, and she would not stop training until it reached the limit. In order to practice difficult movements well, she even trained to the point where her daughter\’s fibula was abnormal. If her daughter slacked even a little bit, she would scold her and then hit her. She stubbornly believed that spanking her children was a social responsibility. Someone online commented that her daughter could only do spins, but she turned around and said that she would increase her training to 500%. She said that if she wanted to practice, she should practice until she had a fever. The more others said that her daughter was not doing well enough, the more she wanted her daughter to practice to death. In order to force her daughter to achieve the results she wanted in figure skating, she once slapped her daughter in the face and banged her head against the wall at home. She once boasted that the way she disciplines her daughter is: \”It\’s like interrogating others. The more you interrogate, the more exciting it becomes.\” She revealed the root of all this in an interview: \”I have been eager to be in the limelight since I was a child, and I will do anything to be in the limelight.\” I was in the spotlight, or because I couldn\’t be in the limelight when I was a child, I put crazy expectations and demands for the limelight on my daughter, but I never asked what my daughter really wanted. Not every child wants to grow into a big tree. Perhaps some children would rather be a small grass and flower than a big tree. I read a piece of news about a boy in Anhui who always wanted to start a business after graduating from college. For his dream, he delivered food, worked in sales, and sold water at night markets after graduation. But his father felt that it was too embarrassing for his son to graduate from a bachelor\’s degree and instead of working in an office as a white-collar worker, he went to the night market selling water covered in sweat and dust. The helpless son begged his father for mercy: \”I know I am incompetent, please spare me.\” The father only saw the embarrassed and disgusted side of his son, but did not see the resilience of his son who worked hard and pursued his dreams. . Yang Jiang once wrote in \”The Three of Us\”: \”Let flowers become flowers, let trees become trees.\” Every child has his or her own path to take, or wants to take. Not interfering too much based on your own knowledge is the best cultivation as a parent. Children are born different and will be different in the future. There is a question on Zhihu: \”What is the best education for parents to give their children?\” One answer is: \”Respect every difference, accept every difference, and allow every accident.\” . Don’t forcefully control, and don’t let things go. As they grow, they feel and enjoy each other.” When my daughter was a child, she took basketball classes and played the last 20 minutes of each game. While other children focused on basketball, she was the only one who was always beside her. Kind of pose POSE. I was so anxious that I asked her why she couldn\’t focus as well as others. She said calmly: \”Mom, I\’m posing. Come on, cheer me up.\” You see, the standards in children\’s hearts are different from those in our hearts. The standard is very bigThe degree is not synchronized. Although she doesn\’t play basketball as well as others, her mentality and condition are indeed good. Every child has a rhythm that he recognizes and likes. The essence of anti-involution is to allow the child to grow according to his own script. And have you ever discovered that as parents, we often feel a sense of powerlessness, a feeling of powerlessness about our children\’s current situation that does not meet our expectations and the unknown future of our children? Since it is difficult for us to rewrite children\’s scripts, it is better to stand aside quietly and patiently take a peek at their life scripts. Take your time, take your time, and be a leader and supporter. As written in this passage in \”Parents\’ Awakening\”: The first thing parents should strive to do is to let their children enjoy their own rights and let them live under their own destiny. Children do not need their parents’ opinions, expectations, authority and control. All parents need to do is to adjust their body and mind and accompany them harmoniously in every moment. Just because every child is born different, their future has more possibilities.