Big data is disturbing! The person who hurts his children the most is this kind of father

Recently, the \”2017 White Paper on Family Parent-child Companionship in China\” was released. The report shows that Chinese families generally realize the importance of spending time with their children. 97.2% of parents are willing to spend time with their children, and more than 50% of families set aside fixed time to accompany their children every day. Even when faced with the \”dilemma\” of working and spending time with their children, 24% of parents still choose to put their children first. But after reading this report carefully, I found a very serious problem: there are too many \”invisible dads\”. Judging from big data, in more than 55% of families, mothers are the main caregivers for their children. In families where fathers spend more time with their children, the proportion is only 12.6%, which is not as much as grandparents. It seems that fathers generally spend less time with their children, so they are not wronged. The big data can tell the truth at a glance. It seems that dads all over the world have a \”disease\”: busy! Fathers bear heavy burdens for their families. It is indeed very hard for them to travel and work hard, and their families feel pain in their hearts when they see it. But no matter how busy you are, you can\’t miss the critical period of accompanying your children. Your children only grow up once. If you miss it, you will really miss it. Former US President Obama, no matter how busy he was at work, would go home to eat with his children every day. His wife Michelle said: \”No matter what happens, at 6:30 every afternoon, we will stop everything we are doing and have dinner together. Even if he is still traveling, he will get home in time and take advantage of dinner. I spend time talking to my daughter, chatting with my wife, and spending quality time with my family. This is what my family does every day.\” Someone once concluded that the biggest pain for Chinese mothers in raising children is \”widow-style\” parenting. This subtle metaphor instantly hit the pain points of mothers and caused everyone to complain. When the children were young, my husband not only took care of the children less, but was also a \”pig teammate\”. Changing diapers for babies often causes urine and poop to flow all over the bed. Those who can distinguish the front and back of diapers can be awarded the \”Five Good Husbands\” certificate. When I prepare milk powder for my baby, the temperature is too high, which makes my baby cry. Looking at the child for a while will definitely make the child cry within five minutes, which is called \”God\’s Assistance\”… It\’s just a matter of not doing the job well, but the level of finding faults is very good: \”Why is the child crying again? Is it right?\” You didn\’t feed him enough?\” \”Why doesn\’t the child sleep? Can you let him sleep less during the day!\” \”The diaper is so messy, why don\’t you change it for him?\” When the baby grows up a little, he will He can walk and jump around. Faced with such an exquisite and cute \”living toy\”, the father will occasionally realize his conscience and take the initiative to ask Ying to play with his child, but he will never give up until something happens. It is said that fathers who spend time with their children have two trump cards: playing with their mobile phones and going to their mothers. When Liu Ye was watching \”Where Are We Going, Dad 3\”, he would sometimes just play with his mobile phone and pay half-hearted attention to his son Noyi. Nuo Yi even had a lot of imagination and told his father: \”Dad, I had a dream. Guanyin Bodhisattva asked you to chat with me for a while…\” Some time ago, a primary school student even jokingly called his father \”the father of mobile phones.\” . The phrase \”You are no longer my dad, you are almost the dad of the mobile phone\” makes so many dads feel embarrassed! And the phrase \”Dad, I have always wanted to say to you: play with me for a while\” is so heart-wrenching! While playing with mobile phoneAccompanying your children without careless communication and communication is not companionship, it is just \”accompanying\”. And even in the process of \”accompanying\”, if there is any trouble, dad will immediately start the \”find mom\” mode. \”If you poop, go to mom\”, \”If your clothes are dirty, go to mom\”, \”If you don\’t know how to do your homework, go to mom\”, \”Tell me a bedtime story, go to mom\”. But for a child, it’s not enough to just look for his mother. Fathers and mothers play different roles in a child\’s growth, and both are indispensable. Maternal education is a kind of \”root\” education, with the goal of nourishing and enriching life. Fatherhood education is a kind of \”backbone\” education, and its goal is to establish the \”backbone\” of a child\’s life. In \”The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children\” compiled by the US Department of Health, it is proposed that \”father\’s function\” includes seven aspects: 1. Cultivating a positive relationship with the child\’s mother 2. Spending time with the child 3. Raising the child 4. Discipline children appropriately 5. Guide children to the world outside the family 6. Protect and provide for them 7. Be a role model for children Harbert said that a good father is worth 100 good teachers. It is no exaggeration to say that fathers are one of the most important people in leading their children into the world. For a boy, his father is the first person to imitate. When he grows up, he will have his father\’s shadow on him. For a girl, her father is the first male figure in her life, and her knowledge and understanding of men comes from her father. Research by psychologist Hesselington shows: \”If a girl lacks the company of her father, it may cause confusion in gender cognition and lack of gender identity.\” \”Little Dragon Girl\” Wu Zhuolin has lacked the company of her father since she was born, and her father did not even recognize her. exist. Wu Zhuolin\’s growth process has been accompanied by various doubts and ridicules, as well as low self-esteem. Due to various conflicts with his family, there have been constant incidents of \”running away from home\”. In October 2017, at the age of 18, she publicly announced on social networking sites that she was coming out and living with her 30-year-old girlfriend. Regarding his father Jackie Chan, Wu Zhuolin said that if he met him one day, he would treat him as \”just another person\”. Father is a bank, issuing knowledge and harvesting love. In an article previously published by Uncle Kai, \”The world is secretly punishing fathers who do not accompany their children,\” there is an impressive passage: \”A father is a bank. If a father fills this bank with companionship, he will not be able to be with his children when he gets old. He will receive full companionship and love from his children; and if the father has insufficient balance in this bank, he is likely to become a lonely old man when he gets old.\” The world is secretly punishing \”fathers who do not accompany their children.\” Companionship is the longest confession of love. Companionship is the best gift parents can give their children. French child education expert Caterina Guegan said in \”How to Accompany Children with High Quality\”: Spending some warm, happy, and intimate time with children brings them the joy of living. Expressing love for children with warm words and actions is a source of happiness for them and an enlightenment lesson for their emotions. When a child feels loved, he will care for others. Involve dad in parentingCome and spend some happy and warm intimate time with your children. Seizing the critical period for fathers to raise children A study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences shows that the birth of a child prompts the growth of new neurons in the father\’s brain. Both men and women develop \”parenting\” brain networks during the process of caring for children. In other words, a father exhibits \”maternal qualities\” in the process of caring for and accompanying his children. According to researchers, the intensity of a father\’s \”maternal nature\” is directly proportional to the time he spends with his children. The longer he spends time with his children, the stronger his \”maternal nature\” is. Therefore, from the time the child is born, let the father participate in child care, seize this \”critical period\”, let the father enjoy the fun of child care, and cultivate a close parent-child relationship. Being a \”lazy mother\” Yi Nengjing is a mother who pursues perfection in everything. From the time her daughter Xiaomili was born, she has taken on the responsibility of taking care of her daughter by herself. She is afraid that her husband will not take care of her well, so she rarely lets him intervene. In \”Mom is Superman\”, Yi Nengjing asked her husband Qin Hao to take care of Mi Li while packing her luggage. The inexperienced father spends time with his daughter while looking at his mobile phone. Soon the daughter became unhappy and wanted to find her mother. Qin Hao, who was not sure what was going on, started to lift up and do tumbles, which scared her daughter and made her cry. Yi Nengjing rushed to the rescue. In the interview, Yi Nengjing said that she was very tired and worked hard, and sometimes she really wanted to be lazy. In fact, women can really be a \”lazy mother\” sometimes and learn to let go. Giving the father more opportunities to take care of his children, slowly cultivating his interest in raising children, and accumulating experience in parenting will not only liberate the mother, but also cultivate a good father-son relationship unknowingly. Give your \”pig teammates\” a lot of encouragement and praise. In the first few episodes of \”Where Are We Going, Dad 5\”, Jordan Chan had very little experience in raising children. Although yelling at children was commonplace, whenever he made some progress, Ying Cai\’er would encourage him. They also teased that they were participating in \”Daddy\’s Transformation\”. At the end of the program recording, Jordan Chan had made rapid progress and had established a very close father-son relationship with his son Jasper. When my husband puts on his diapers backwards, replace \”Why are you so stupid\” with \”It doesn\’t matter, take your time, you\’ve made a lot of progress\”. When the child cries loudly, replace \”Why did you make him cry again?\” with \”It\’s normal for children to cry. I often do this when I take care of him.\” You will slowly discover that your father loves his children no less than his mother does, but he is very nervous and can never find the right method. With your encouragement and recognition, he will become more and more comfortable with it. Painter Liu Yong once said: Many fathers have no hands in their children\’s paintings. Why? Because in the child\’s memory, his father is like a shadow that he can never catch. However, the child\’s heart longs for his father\’s big hand to hold his little hand and play happily together… Dads, stay with your children more and leave them with beautiful memories as they drift away from each other. In an instant, clear memories are left behind. Many years later, when your child grows up, he will definitely say to you: Dad, thank you for accompanying me all the way.