Can parents apologize to their children for doing something wrong?

I once read this sentence: \”We spend a lifetime waiting for our parents to apologize to us, they spend a lifetime waiting for us to say thank you, and we don\’t get what we want.\” In Chinese-style families, parents and children seem to Always in an unequal relationship. If a child does something wrong, parents will chase after them and relentlessly ask their children to apologize, admit their mistakes, reflect on their mistakes, and make corrections. What if parents did something wrong? One netizen shared a true experience of his own. Once he went to a KTV to sing with his relatives. He sang a song that he had practiced for a long time. Unexpectedly, after singing, his mother commented loudly: \”It was really ugly.\” Everyone looked on with gloating. He felt extremely embarrassed when he was alone. Later, he discovered that every time he sang, his mother would laugh at him, \”You have regressed too much\” and \”your voice is as shrill and thin as a child\’s\”… From then on, he was no longer willing to sing. Many years later, his mother asked him, \”Why don\’t you want to sing now?\” After he told his mother\’s ridicule, her mother immediately denied, \”I have never done that kind of thing, definitely not.\” Later, she smoothed herself over: \” I was just joking, why should you take it seriously.\” You are obviously offended by your parents, but they deny it. They even think that your care is a sign of ignorance. Even if you apologize, it is inconsistent and extremely perfunctory. Such parents are not an exception. In real life, when parents make mistakes, we often use five kinds of apology to deal with their children. It seems that we are admitting our mistakes to the children, but in fact it hurts the children more. A favorite way for avoidant parents all over the world to reconcile with their children is to \”eat\”! This type of parents always likes to avoid various problems that arise in the parent-child relationship. They are generous and \”adults do not remember the faults of minors\”. They forget about the disputes that just occurred and think that they have given their children a step down. It seems that this matter is over, but in fact the problem is only temporarily hidden. The more you avoid it, the more chilling it will be for the child. The problem will eventually accumulate into a big problem, and sooner or later it will explode. The power of play, how laughter activates cooperation and courage in children\’s nature, ultra-clear pdf, blame-shifting type \”Yes, I just scolded you, but it wasn\’t because you were wrong in the first place.\” The reason why I hit you is because of you You did something wrong; I scolded you because you were disobedient. In short, parents are never wrong. Even if parents are wrong, it is their children who force them to do so. This type of parent constantly shirks responsibility and puts all the problems on their children. Children will feel very wronged and unfair, so they will resent their parents and become increasingly estranged from their parents. The moral kidnapping type \”I\’m not doing it for your own good!\” This kind of apology is most likely to leave children speechless, as if they are ignorant if they say more. What these types of parents are best at is moral kidnapping, \”I\’m all for you.\” If their children don\’t appreciate it, they are ignorant. A parent\’s words of \”for your own good\” are like an invisible yoke, firmly placed around the child\’s neck, and the child can be manipulated at will. Let the children be unable to express their sufferings and can only bear them silently. Aggressive \”What else do you want!\” This type of parent is very forceful.They will never admit their mistakes and think that their parents\’ rights are above all else. Even if they are really wrong, they will never admit it. Instead, they will accuse their children of being inconsiderate and unforgiving. Once a child is suppressed by his parents and resists, the consequences will be disastrous. They will either be suppressed and become submissive and compromise; or they will become like their parents, unreasonable and aggressive. Complaining and accusing, \”It\’s just such a small thing, what\’s wrong with you?\” This type of parent is very good at deflecting the problem. They clearly did something wrong, but they still accuse their children of making a fuss out of a molehill. It seems that it is because the children are too pretentious that they make everyone unhappy. Everything It has nothing to do with yourself. For parents, apologizing to their children is already their biggest concession. They are already very democratic and open-minded parents. But they don’t realize that apologizing in the wrong way actually hurts the child more. On the surface, it seems that parents are taking the initiative to bow their heads, but in fact they are causing strong psychological pressure on their children. Let the child mistakenly attribute the problem to himself, thinking that he is really as ignorant, disobedient, too sensitive, and too pretentious as his parents said. Why is the small matter of apologizing so difficult for parents? In Chinese families, it is almost impossible to achieve equality between parents and children. In the minds of parents, children are never independent individuals, but our accessories. As for the accessories, we can control them at will, beat and scold them, and the children can only accept them. If they resist, it is \”unfilial\”. Therefore, in our family, it is almost impossible to apologize to our children. Even if parents apologize, most of them resist internally and are very resistant, thinking that they have lost face. Secondly, if you apologize to your children, it means that the parents have done something wrong. So where is the authority of the parents? Therefore, when we apologize, we often adopt the normal approach of \”giving a sweet date and a slap in the face\”. On the surface, it seems to be submissive, but in fact, we are still taking this opportunity to beat the child, hoping that he will not be ungrateful. How to do it is a sincere apology. 1. Put down your dignity. In the parent-child relationship, we must have a powerful side and a peaceful side. When apologizing to your children, you must not be condescending and have a \”charity\” attitude. It is not shameful for parents to apologize to their children. On the contrary, parents\’ apology can improve children\’s respect for their parents and think that their parents are responsible people and people who can truly understand them. 2. Learn to admit that I was wrong. My parents are not perfect, and they make mistakes sometimes. Don’t feel that apologizing is a loss of face. When we dare to admit our mistakes, we are also setting an excellent example for our children, so that they can become responsible and responsible people. A survey in the United States shows that children will regard their parents\’ apology as an expression of their parents\’ love for them. If parents do something wrong and do not apologize, children will think that their parents do not love them. It is not difficult to say \”I\’m sorry\” to a child. When the child hears this sentence, the message he gets is not \”Mom and Dad are incompetent\”, but \”Mom and Dad really love you\”!