Can’t afford a summer vacation for your children with a monthly salary of RMB 30,000? Why do we have so much focus?

Summer vacation is coming to an end. Calculate, how much did you spend on your baby this summer? Some time ago, a friend sent me an article \”With a monthly salary of 30,000, I still can\’t afford a summer vacation for my children.\” He said he wanted to hear my opinion. When I was reading the article, I had just finished telling my son a short chapter from the Book of Songs. It happened to be Wednesday, the day we agreed to read some ancient books and Chinese studies. Throughout the summer vacation, we just wandered around our home and surrounding areas. I am reading and playing at home and preparing to go to kindergarten in September. After reading the article, I felt mixed emotions. In particular, a mother of a business executive in Guangzhou posted her daughter’s spending bills during the summer vacation: a trip to the United States, 20,000 yuan for a 10-day summer vacation with an aunt to take care of her, 5,000 yuan for piano exams, 2 piano lessons per week, and 2,000 yuan for swimming. Classes, 2,000 yuan for English, Mathematical Olympiad, and composition training, several expenses above 6,000 yuan totaled 35,000 yuan. In comparison, my son saves money too much. I didn’t sign up for any training or hire anyone to take care of me. I didn’t spend a lot of money on study tours or summer camps. Sometimes I feel a little \”anxious\”. If I don\’t do this now, will I do it in the future? Is it right to do this? How to do it? I still remember a friend of mine. After his son was born, he said that he would not let his child attend early childhood education classes. He did not expect his child to get first place in the exams or anything like that. He only wanted to accompany his child to grow up happily. However, he met me one day and said, \”My family, Liangliang, signed up for early childhood education. It feels good. Would you like to check it out too? There is a discount these days.\” I was surprised at the time, \”You don\’t want to sign up for this, what?\” \”There is no way. Four or five colleagues in our office all persuaded me to go, and even several of my salesmen signed up for my son.\” \”What are you talking about?\” \”If you don\’t give your child a good education now, I can’t keep up with primary school.” “Children should be happy, but if they don’t learn more, they will still have to endure hardship in school.” “Children’s education is the most worth spending money on. If you don’t spend money on children, who will you spend money on? You can’t be stingy. .\” After being bombarded every day, he still went to report his child. He said not reporting it would make people feel stingy. No matter what I say, others feel that I am reluctant to spend money, as if the child is not my own. In a situation where the entire circle of parents is occupied by anxiety. How many parents are there who are sober when everyone is drunk? What kind of courage and strong heart are needed! Many people will find it incredible when they see the bill above. Because the annual income of many ordinary families is only 60,000 to 70,000 yuan. It is unrealistic to spend half of it on study, let alone just a summer vacation. Therefore, there are also shadows of education showing off wealth and comparison. This mentality is more terrifying than anxiety. We will see crazy summer camp plans and study tour plans one after another. A company came to me before and said it planned to recruit for summer camp activities. The charge for one child per week is 8888, not including some additional fees for going there. That works out to just over 10,000 a week. It still seems cheap now. And the current situation is that it’s not just the rich who spend money like this. There are more ordinary parents who are anxious. A primary school classmate made a calculation for us in the group some time ago, saying that he was working at a construction site outside., that is, renting in an urban village near the construction site. Many are houses ready for demolition. The quality of life is extremely poor, just to save a little money every month. But summer vacation is coming. Several families around me have spent a lot of money to enroll their children in several training and swimming classes. There is a swimming class for 2,000 yuan for 8 days. The rent for a nearby family is 600 per month for two bedrooms and one living room. Such rent is very poor in a provincial capital city, even in an urban village. But they just spend their money every holiday without hesitation. No matter how hard a family\’s life is, they must not suffer for their children. No matter how much money you have, you still have to spend money on your children’s education. Of course, for ordinary people, reading is a good way out. Investing in your child’s education is the right thing to do. Just to prevent yourself from getting lost. Many people don’t spend money on their children’s education. Instead, you pay for your own anxiety and blindly following the trend. I remember a sentence in a book: \”Our current education is too eager to achieve results and positive results, hoping for \’immediate results\’, and lacks a leisurely mentality and a leisurely mind.\” Anxiety has become a common mentality among Chinese parents. The root cause of anxiety is the parents\’ own \”inner lack of security\” and \”comparison mentality\”. Parents who have already become successful expect their children to stabilize their social status and even become better than themselves, so they are anxious. Parents who have not been able to escape are just looking forward to their children being able to escape, but they are also anxious. When you don’t have children, you may just be anxious about not having money. And when you have a child, you are afraid that your child will be wronged. So spend money to buy peace of mind and relieve your anxiety. At least we have enrolled our children in classes, and at least we have taken action. But is this what the child needs? If your mentality cannot be corrected, even if you earn 300,000 yuan a month, you will still be wrapped up in educational anxiety. Raising children generally has nothing to do with money, but with the quality of the parents themselves. Good parents give their children good conduct and habits, and their children can achieve their own value through hard work. And you give your children very little companionship and love, and you just use a bunch of money to buy your children a good school and a famous brand. Can such a child become talented? Money cannot reach people\’s hearts, but will only arouse some unwarranted desires. And the look you look at your child, the example you set for your child, the charisma of your parents, the warmth of your palms, the warmth of your embrace. These can penetrate our flesh and reach our hearts. When it comes to children’s education, we often focus on our children. In fact, parents are often the key to the problem. For example, anxious parents will definitely transfer their anxiety to their children. Why should I do this to you, just because I love you. Many parents use their own methods to control their children, and they think they are very smart, but in fact they have already deviated from the right track without realizing it. I imprisoned the child\’s mind with my own hands, extinguished his innocence, cut off the child\’s wings, and blamed him for not being able to fly. The level, character, and broad-mindedness of his parents not only determine how he lives his own life. It will also have a quiet and moistening effect on children. Parents should study hard, learn more, and grow up with their children. You can read books by famous writers such as Piaget, Montessori, Winnicott, and Rousseau. thinking about educationEssentially, get to know children. Of course, the more important thing is to understand your children through careful companionship, and compare the knowledge you have learned with actual upbringing. You cannot trust all books, but you must choose the good ones and follow them. When we grow up with our children, we develop a close identification with each other. The emergence of this close identification is related to the identification of common interests between parents and children. For example, parents who love reading cultivate their children\’s interest in reading. At this time, each other will establish this intimate relationship through parent-child reading. Many parents directly added me on WeChat and asked, how to raise a boy well? Any tips? There are no tricks to raising children. It\’s not like crossing the river by feeling for the stones and crossing the river with trepidation. Gain experience from lessons and gain insights from practice. As a father, I am often amazed at how my children grow. I don\’t expect him to be a successful person, but I just want him to be a complete person. I hope that every step I take with him will not go against his nature and never forget his original intention. Each child has his own growth pattern, and parents must work hard to discover it. Find a way that suits your child and awaken your child\’s heart. And parents are the key. Spending money on children also tests the wisdom of parents.