Capture 5 moments of children’s sensitive period before the age of 7, and your children’s marriages will be happier

Recently, my neighbor Xiaoran just gave birth to a daughter, but she was almost depressed. Because Xiaoran was born in a family that always quarreled, and her grandparents favored sons over daughters, she spent her childhood with anxiety and low self-esteem. She has only been married for two years, and occasionally quarrels with her husband over trivial matters. Therefore, she is worried that she cannot provide a good family environment for her children, and she is also worried that her daughter will not be able to have a happy emotional relationship in the future. She said worriedly: If her daughter marries an alcoholic and violent man like my father, wouldn’t she be like my mother? I comforted her and said: The influence of the original family does exist, but as long as we grow up and make up our minds, it is entirely possible to give her a brand new family of origin. Regarding the emotional relationship of children in the future, there is actually no need to panic. In addition to the influence of the parents themselves, it is only necessary to grasp a few key sensitive periods before the age of 7. Because the age of 0 to 7 is the microcosm of a person\’s lifelong development. Whether it is learning rules or dealing with various relationships, these seven years can lay a good foundation for children\’s health. The budding period of self-awareness, the first critical point in a child\’s growth to make children fall in love with themselves, is usually two years old. Because children at this stage begin to know the existence of \”I\”, as long as their parents care for them with love, they can gain the most precious sense of security in life. In the recently hit TV series \”Story of Yanxi Palace\”, Wei Yingluo\’s character has attracted much attention. She comes from a grassroots background and is not only able to fight monsters and level up along the way, but also wins the love of the audience. The reason is that she has a strength that no one else has, and that is the courage to be herself. The establishment of this character comes from the acceptance and respect of important caregivers in childhood. Although Wei Yingluo lost her mother when she was young, her sister replaced her mother and gave her enough companionship and love. This love became the source of her self-confidence and self-reliance. It is precisely because she is confident enough that she can remain her natural self at all times without having to flatter or please. If you want your child to have a good intimate relationship in the future, you might as well protect your child\’s sense of self from the age of two, aim to respect your child in everything, and allow him some freedom and autonomy. When a child feels that his parents value and cherish him, he will imitate his parents, value and love himself, and a person who loves himself will naturally be cherished by others. The sensitive period of interpersonal relationships allows children to learn to deal with peer relationships. Entering the age of 3 is a sensitive period for children. During this period, when children enter the small society of kindergarten, they not only need to learn rules, but also become curious about others. Educator Yin Jianli once said: Children must play with their children. No matter how diligent parents are, they cannot replace a series of influences from their peers, including competition and cooperation, sharing and love. And if all this develops smoothly, in the future children will not only be able to handle good friendship relationships, but also family relationships, because there is a common logic between relationships. When Huo Siyan\’s son Huo Siyan participated in \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, he not only played well with boys, but also took the initiative to express concern for other girls, and was dubbed a social master by the audience. Du Jiang, the father, strongly encourages his children to socialize: while his social consciousness is budding, let him have more contact with peers, so that he will have the ability to make friends and get along with the opposite sex earlier. marriageSun Ruixue, a famous psychologist who helps children with marriage enlightenment, said that the age of 4 is a sensitive period for children. They are curious about their parents\’ intimate actions and are eager to imitate their parents, enter marriage, and gain the love of their significant other. My son once asked: Dad, please give me your mother and let her be my wife. Dad asked him: What if Dad doesn’t have a wife? The child immediately replied: You are old anyway and it doesn’t matter if you don’t need a wife. When we told him that marriage must occur after adulthood and to find someone who is not related to him, the child seemed to understand, but he no longer struggled. Because he is in a sensitive period of marriage, even if his dream of marrying his mother is shattered, he will still show favor and affection to other girls. So one day he took my lipstick and wanted to give it to a female classmate. When I found out, I didn’t criticize him, but encouraged him in time: Baby, mom knows you like to smile, so I want to give her good things. But Xiaoxiao is so small that she can’t put on lipstick yet. You should give her a small toy next time. My son, who thought he had made a mistake, was very moved when he saw my calm demeanor and told me: Mom, I understand. When I am as old as my father, I will give you Xiaoxiao lipstick again. According to a survey in the United States, when children have a good impression of the opposite sex for the first time, or have a yearning for \”marriage\”, and this emotion is accepted and protected by their parents, their future emotional relationships will be smoother. . On the contrary, if parents ignore or even laugh at the budding emotions of their children from an early age, then the children will only increase their shame. Even if they meet the person they like in the future, they will not be brave enough to pursue them. Emotional fear and resistance. Gender identity sensitive period makes children proud of their own gender. Psychologist Li Zixun once said: Letting children be proud of their own gender is the best gift parents can give to their children. Around the age of 3, children begin to know their own gender, but it is not until they are around 5 years old that they truly understand that gender is constant, and then they begin to intentionally imitate the clothes and grooming of adults. Girls fall in love with their mother\’s high-heeled shoes, and boys imitate their father\’s tie. This is a way for them to identify with their own gender. During this sensitive period, parents only need to do two things to make their children fall in love with their own gender: First, tell their children: You are unique. This is a great regret for my friend Xiaoran. Because her grandmother favored boys over girls, Xiaoran was treated a lot poorly since she was a child. In addition, her parents did not give correct guidance, which resulted in Xiaoran having low self-esteem in several relationships. , feel that they are not worthy of each other. The correct approach is to tell the child, whether he is a boy or a girl, that he is precious and irreplaceable. When the child knows that his parents accept her, he can accept himself. Second, parents do not complain about the hardships of being a man or a woman. A netizen once said that since she was a child, she had heard her mother say that giving birth was painful and that being a woman was difficult. She also heard her father complain that men were under great pressure to work hard, which had a great negative impact on her and her brother. They therefore feel that life is nothing but hard labor, and that neither boy nor girl has anything to be proud of. And wise parents will be like those in the American TV series \”This Is Us\”, where the father does not matter whether he is working or not.No matter how busy she is at work, she always comes home with a sunny smile. No matter how hard it is for my mother to take care of the housework, she is immersed in it and enjoys it. This fully gives children a positive example: both women and men can achieve success and happiness in their respective fields. Continuing the Sensitive Period of Marriage and setting an example of marriage for children. When they are around 6 years old, children will enter the Sensitive Period of Continuing Marriage. Different from the previous belief that marriage has nothing to do with gender or age, they begin to understand that marriage must be between two people of the opposite sex who love each other. Therefore, at this stage, in addition to explaining the connotation of marriage through some stories, the most important way for parents to guide is to show their children how to love. John Brewer, the most famous educational psychologist in the United States, said: The greatest emotional treasure parents can give their children is their deep love for each other. The way parents love each other has become a textbook of children\’s emotions. Today it is rooted in their hearts, and tomorrow it becomes a template. Children can copy their parents\’ happiness without deliberate effort. Yi Nengjing once said that her life foundation was very bad. Her father abandoned her and her mother disliked her gender. After years of awareness and growth, she learned to fall in love with herself again and developed a happy emotional relationship. Now, as a mother of two children, she has consciously overcome the mistakes and detours her parents have made. She gave her children adequate psychological support at every stage, allowing both children to grow up under her protection and trust. She confidently said: \”My children are much luckier than I was before, and they will definitely be more prosperous than I was in the future.\” ability to obtain a good marriage relationship.\” Montessori, an Italian early childhood education expert, pointed out: The sensitive period has a profound impact on children\’s growth and development. If we suppress the sensitive period, it is possible for them to lose their abilities in certain aspects. And if we can seize every sensitive period of children in a targeted manner and guide and inspire them carefully, we will surely be able to release the children\’s various talents. Children will rely on their healthy self to win all good relationships and beautiful marriages in the future.