Changing clothes in front of children and leaving the door open when going to the toilet can be so harmful

\”Xixi is playing with her butt naked!\” A friend recently attended a family gathering organized by several mothers in the kindergarten. The children were having fun in the room, and a child ran out excitedly and shouted. Picture source: \”Looking Beautiful\” Xixi\’s mother hurried in and saw her daughter\’s bare butt. The two little boys next to her looked at her and laughed, but Xixi didn\’t care. It turns out that her daughter got too excited and took off her pants… Xixi\’s mother said that she usually doesn\’t pay much attention to her children\’s education in this area, but she has to pay more attention to it in the future. She is already so old. How can she casually take off her clothes in front of children? Come on! What does Xixi’s mother usually do? I think there must be no escaping the neglect of children\’s \”sex education\”. We usually read sex education picture books to our children and teach them which parts of the body should not be touched by strangers, thinking that this is a good \”sex education\”. In fact, these are far from enough. Some of the most important details of life may have been overlooked by you. Changing clothes in front of children is a taboo in sex education. In the past two days, my best friend and her husband had a big fight because of her mother-in-law. My mother-in-law has a bad habit of changing clothes and pants in front of her children (her body is often exposed). My best friend bumped into me several times and she was very embarrassed, but my mother-in-law didn\’t care. \”My son is already 5 years old and has already become aware of his gender. This is really not okay!\” After my mother-in-law left, my best friend complained to her husband. \”He\’s still a kid and he\’s a grandma, so what\’s the big deal?\” My husband didn\’t take it seriously. However, is it really no big deal? A kindergarten teacher once mentioned this: There was a new 4-year-old boy in the class. Every time she took a nap, she would watch the little girl change her clothes. Even when the little girl went to the toilet, he had to squat down to see what was going on. Once, a little girl was so frightened that she cried. The teacher told the boy: Every child has his own privacy, and it is impolite to look at girls like this. The boy said: My mother changes clothes like this too, I can see it, why can’t other people see it? Image source: \”Looking Beautiful\” When children are about 3 years old, their gender awareness begins to form. They will make distinctions between their parents\’ bodies, and they will also become extremely curious about sex. If parents are not careful and often change clothes and expose private parts in front of their children, it will inadvertently increase their children\’s curiosity about the body. Some children may ask their parents directly, while others may choose to find the answer themselves. In the process of searching for answers on their own, without correct guidance, children can easily make mistakes or have problems. On the other hand, if a parent always takes off his clothes and exposes his body in front of his child, the child will think that this is a normal thing, and he may be more likely to take off his clothes in front of strangers. You’ll never imagine how easy it is to get your kids to take off their clothes! There was once a test show that invited some children. An uncle took out new clothes and lied that their mother bought them, but they had to take off their old clothes to get them. The children took off their clothes readily, and some even asked children and uncles to help. This shocked the otherwise confident mothers who were watching from a hidden place. Only one girl refused, saying \”\”I don\’t dare to change my clothes in front of boys.\” It was her mother who taught her. We spend so much effort teaching children how to protect themselves, but we must not let the results of sex education fall short by neglecting some small details. Only when parents respect their own privacy can they respect their children\’s privacy better and let them learn to respect and protect themselves. Leaving the door closed when going to the toilet affects the child\’s sense of privacy. Sex Education In a program, Lan Hai, a caregiver, comes to a family. The 7-and-a-half-year-old girl wanted to go to the toilet, so she walked straight to the bathroom. The door of the toilet was still wide open, so she took off her pants and sat on the toilet. Lan Hai frowned and followed. The girl on the toilet looked at her and the camera that filmed her calmly and calmly, without any shyness. The child\’s mother did not notice this detail at all. Finally, Lan Hai gently helped the girl close the bathroom door. As a mother of a girl, my heart tightened when I saw this scene. Girls leaving the door open when going to the toilet may be imitating their relatives. Children think this is normal, so the habit becomes natural. It is not a big deal to leave the door open when going to the toilet, but it is a big deal if a child\’s privacy is spied on, poor awareness of precautions attracts the attention of some bad people, and affects the sexual and psychological development. Image source: \”Melting Pot\” After the child is 3 years old, do not bathe with the opposite sex. Sex education There was once a mother who brought her 4-year-old son into the women\’s locker room of a swimming pool, but was scolded and cried by the administrator\’s aunt. This mother felt aggrieved: \”Actually, my son is still young and doesn\’t understand anything!\” What a worrying thought! Can children bathe with the opposite sex? Many parents have this question. Before the child is 3 years old, he or she can share a bath with parents of the opposite sex. Parents can show their bodies to their children generously and help them understand their bodies and build self-esteem and confidence in their bodies. However, after the age of 3, children have sexual conflicts and awareness, and it is not appropriate for opposite-sex parents to bathe with their children. Because this is the critical age for establishing body boundaries. Once missed, it will be difficult to rebuild. After the child is 3 years old, it is a kind of protection for the child to prohibit bathing with the opposite sex. Picture source: \”Wedding Dress\” Parents should help their children realize that although mom, dad and you are close, we also have our own privacy. Body privacy is one of them and cannot be exposed, observed, or touched at will. Therefore, after the child is 3 years old, it is best for same-sex parents to accompany him to bathe. When he is a little older (after 4 years old), the child can be allowed to bathe, wash his underwear, and wash his butt by himself. This will firstly cultivate a sense of privacy, and secondly, cultivate a sense of privacy. Children\’s ability to take care of themselves. Crotchless pants, open urination and random kissing destroy children\’s sense of boundaries. Many people think that wearing crotchless pants for children is a parenting tradition, and open urination and urination is a very small matter. I often see many children who are already 5 or 6 years old. No matter where they are, as long as they want to pee, they immediately run to the side and take off their pants. Picture source: \”Looking Beautiful\” Some time ago, a mother took her child to eat in a restaurant. When her son wanted to pee, she actually asked him to pee in public and poured it into the bowl of food, which caused heated discussions. No matter how uneducated these behaviors are, allowing children to urinate and defecate in public places and expose their genitals will seriously violate their physical boundaries.Feeling: Children who wear crotchless pants will think: My butt can be exposed to others at will. Children who defecate anywhere will think that their private parts can be seen by others when defecating. Moreover, it is difficult to say that allowing children to expose their genitals at will will not become the focus of some pedophiles. While we teach our children that \”the areas covered by vests and underpants must not be seen or touched by strangers,\” we also put our children in crotchless pants so that they can expose their private parts anytime and anywhere. In this way, no matter how much sex education is done, it will be difficult to reach the children\’s hearts. In addition, the same goes for kissing children casually. For example, if you take your children to a party, you may be familiar with a scene like this: \”Uncle has candy, give it to you if you kiss me!\” Some children will do as asked, but others are reluctant, confused, or want to ask for help. Many parents care about face, and will constantly encourage and encourage their children to hug, kiss, and get close to others. What are the consequences of doing this? It will destroy the child\’s boundaries of contact with his own body and others, causing the child to lose vigilance against infringement by people he knows. Image source: \”The Melting Pot\”. Be careful about children encountering \”hidden sexual assaults\”. Sex education We all know that more than 70% of the bad guys who commit sexual assaults are people known to the children. But the bad guys in children\’s eyes all look like monsters and are not people they know at all. There is a 7-minute sex education video in the United States that tells children who should be most alert to the following five alarms: Visual alarm: Someone is looking at your private parts, or asking you to look at his private parts. Speech Alert: Someone is talking to you about your private parts. Touch alert: Someone wants to touch your private parts, or asks you to touch his private parts. Alone Alert: Don’t eat food from strangers and don’t be alone with them. Restraint Alert: Someone wants to hold you or kiss you. All of this is to tell children: You are in charge of your body, and no one can watch or touch it without your consent. If someone does this, first refuse, and second, tell your parents as soon as possible. In the first season of \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, Wang Shiling was exchanged for Zhang Liang as her daughter. Because there was a camera, Zhang Liang asked Wang Shiling to hide under the quilt and change clothes; during nap time, Zhang Liang let Wang Shiling sleep under the quilt while he slept covered with clothes on the side. It was really touching. This is intentional and conscious from adults, and it is the greatest respect and protection for children. Whenever news about children being sexually assaulted appears in the news, we as parents always feel resentful. However, child sex educator Hu Ping once warned: There is a kind of \”hidden sexual violation\” that can cause great harm to children\’s sexual psychology and is often ignored. It will not only destroy the child\’s physical boundaries, but also destroy the child\’s psychological development. Normal developmental trajectory. And it comes from family, from parents, and from many inappropriate parenting methods. I hope parents will always check and reflect on themselves, and never become \”accomplices\” to harm their children.