Child abuse incidents in kindergartens happen again, how should we protect children?

As parents, the last thing we want to see is child abuse. However, these heartbreaking and outrageous events always sting our nerves again and again. A few days ago, news broke: In Xi\’an, Shaanxi Province, two teachers at a kindergarten used needles to stick children who were moving around and not sleeping during their naps. The teacher clamped the child\’s arms with his hands. The child twisted left and right to escape, trying to break away from the teacher, but he still couldn\’t escape the vicious hand. Last month, a child in a kindergarten in Zhengzhou was called into the blind spot by the teacher. A few minutes later, his walking posture was obviously abnormal. The parents discovered that the child had injuries on his body, and the hospital examined the child\’s private parts as torn. What sent chills down the spine were the words of the director of this kindergarten: \”This is what this industry is like, otherwise I wouldn\’t be able to do it.\” It\’s outrageous! Can pouring the dirty water of one person\’s thoughts on the entire industry alleviate the evil? It is not difficult to imagine how many shady things have happened in kindergartens managed by such directors with extreme ideas. Two months ago, there was a chilling incident of child abuse that was also related to a child not taking a nap. A childcare worker at a kindergarten in Hezhou, Guangxi, covered a 5-year-old child\’s head with a quilt for two minutes. The victim child returned home and described this to his parents: \”The teacher covered my mouth and nose with the quilt. I couldn\’t breathe and felt like I was going to die.\” This person who the child kept calling the teacher wanted to \”kill\” \”he. The fear this brings to the child cannot be described in just a few words. And this kind of fear of dying will condense into what kind of pain in the heart of the child. In the end, the kindergartens involved were punished and the teachers were administratively detained. Evildoers deserve punishment, but the harm they cause to children will be indelible over the years. From the child abuse incident at Ctrip\’s parent-child center that was exposed last year to the various child abuse incidents that have occurred repeatedly this year, there are so many dark and festering scars hidden among the young children who we think are most carefree. However, most of these reported harmful behaviors are related to physical harm. The family can still find clues from the scars. The \”mental harm\” that is more hidden and more harmful to children is actually more difficult to detect. At the end of last year, a mother in Guangzhou put a voice recorder in her child\’s pocket because she suspected that her child was being abused in a kindergarten. The voice in the recorder was unbearable: Sit down while I walk around and kick you to death. After the parents reported the situation to the kindergarten, the teacher encouraged everyone to isolate the child: Don\’t touch him, and if he was touched, he would be beaten. Go, leave him alone! It is unimaginable how helpless it would be for a young child to be insulted, scolded, and collectively isolated. In Pingdingshan, Henan, because a boy spat on a female classmate, the teacher organized 17 girls in the class to line up to spit on the boy and asked everyone to applaud the spitting female classmate. Even if the boy made a mistake first, the impact of this humiliating punishment on the child far exceeds the correction of the child\’s behavior itself. Children\’s education itself is a great industry. There is nothing more dazzling and harmonious than enlightening a child’s soul throughout his life and allowing him to start an unknown life with love and awareness.bright. There are too many kindergarten teachers who silently contribute their patience and sincerity to the growth of their children, like their second mother. But in every industry, there are likely to be people mixed in who are not worthy of being in it. In the early stages of a child\’s life, the harm they bring to the child will remain with the child throughout his life. For Zha Yuan and Zha Teacher, even if the chance is one in ten thousand, if they encounter them, the damage will be 100%, so they have to be guarded against. What worries us most is that many children do not tell their parents when they are hurt. This also makes the harm to the child deeper and more lasting. While we place our hope in a complete supervision system and good people, there is also a helpless but necessary choice, which is to understand the child\’s status in school through clues and guide the child to seek help from his parents as soon as possible. Observe whether children are relaxed in kindergarten. When a person is in a safe environment, he will naturally show a relaxed state, especially children. We can observe the child\’s status from the following aspects. 1. Is the child willing to get close to the teacher and engage in hugs and other behaviors? 2. Does your child eat very little or not at all in kindergarten, but then eats more when he comes home? 3. Is the child willing to defecate in the kindergarten? 4. Are there any differences in behavior in kindergarten from at home? For example, children who love to make friends are silent and unsociable in kindergarten, and children who love to be active become particularly quiet? 5. Do children dare to ask teachers for help? 6. Does your child cry and fuss when he goes to kindergarten for a long time? 7. Does the child deliberately avoid a certain teacher? The above performances can more or less show the child\’s status in kindergarten. If a child has more than one of the above symptoms at the same time, it is possible that the child does not enjoy life in the kindergarten, and feels helpless in his heart that he has not told his parents and has to face it alone. This requires parents to observe and discover more, whether there are any hidden secrets, and they should be transferred to another kindergarten if necessary. Identifying children\’s abnormal behaviors and signals for help Some time ago, my sister once told me about an experience of my nephew Zhezhe in kindergarten. One day when he came home from school, Zhezhe suddenly refused to eat, and refused to let his parents come to the table to eat. He said with red eyes, \”Let\’s go outside the house to eat.\” My sister thought it was a little strange and asked a few questions. It turned out that Zhezhe was scolded by the teacher for being naughty when he was eating in kindergarten: \”If you don\’t eat well, you will go out to eat.\” Zhezhe obviously cared about the teacher\’s words, and he still felt very uneasy until after school. When children exhibit some abnormal behavior or even \”unreasonable\” behavior, parents should not easily suppress them or rush to reprimand them, but they need to understand the reasons behind these behaviors. Because abnormal behavior itself is often a signal for help sent by children to their parents. We need to observe whether the child has the following abnormal behaviors: Does the child suddenly wet the bed frequently or cry in dreams at night? Does your child suddenly become irritable or cry easily? Has your child suddenly become withdrawn and unsociable? Does the child say some strange words or do some strange actions? Children who have adapted to kindergarten suddenly do not want to go to kindergarten. If we turn a blind eye to our children\’s \”help signals\” or even suppress them violently, it will easily cause the children to become dissatisfied with their parents.Mother loses trust. It may even make children think that if they tell their parents, they will get \”secondary harm\” and it is better to bear it themselves. In the book \”Why We Are Bullied\” by writer Chen Lan, the details of a teacher bullying a student are mentioned. The abusive teacher put bricks in the victim\’s schoolbag and hung them on his chest. Later, the schoolbag soon cracked due to being loaded with bricks many times. When the mother of the victim student found bricks and debris in her schoolbag, she scolded her for not taking good care of things. What bothered the child was that her mother never asked why there were bricks in her schoolbag. Whenever we want our children to be treated gently outside the home, we must first give them more gentleness and patience. When encountering something unusual, ask your child why. In this way, at least the child can be keenly aware of the harm, rather than taking it for granted when the harm is already deep. Playing kindergarten role-playing games with children is a favorite of every child, and in role-playing games, children\’s performance is the most realistic and derived from life. This is the most intuitive way to understand what happens to children in kindergarten and how they are treated. The specific method is: the children play the teacher, and the adults play the children. Starting early in the morning, they simulate the flow of a day in the children\’s kindergarten. In this process, the children played by adults often need to show some irregular behaviors. For example, behaviors such as scattering rice on the table, skipping naps, fighting with children, etc. There may also be plots such as complaining to the teacher and asking the teacher for help. Observe the attitude of the teacher played by the child. In the game, we can add details related to the characteristics of our children, and even introduce some problem-solving strategies, such as teaching children to learn self-protection and guiding children to learn to ask their parents for help. In the world of children, there are also predators of the weak and the strong, and even viciousness. Don\’t underestimate your child\’s frustrations and pain, be considerate of your child\’s feelings, and tell your child repeatedly that your parents will always love and protect you, and that your parents have the ability to protect you. This is more likely to open the child\’s heart and provide the child with more timely protection. Don\’t let \”obedience\” harm your children. From our generation, our children have received too much \”obedience\” education. Listen to your parents at home and listen to your teachers at school. Some parents or elderly people even tell their children to \”listen to the teacher\” every time they send them to kindergarten. This embeds a concept in children\’s minds that authority is correct. They dare not resist or even ask for help from the authoritative teacher in the kindergarten. And when evil people use their authority status to threaten and intimidate children, it is even harder for children who have always been taught to be \”obedient\” to have the courage to resist. Too many children are missing out on “questioning” education. “Questioning” education encourages children to think diligently. Children with the ability to think are less likely to follow blindly and are more likely to discuss and communicate with their parents and seek help from their parents. In daily life, we can cultivate children\’s \”questioning thinking\” by \”asking children open-ended questions\”, \”explaining more and drawing fewer conclusions\”, \”allowing children to question their parents\” and \”the whole family is equal before the rules\”. Trust is built brick by brick. Trust is built brick by brick.Mutually speaking, if we want children to trust their parents, we first need to give them more trust. Trust starts with listening. When we are willing to listen to our children and listen to the voices behind their behaviors, they can often give us unexpected answers. In addition, parents should learn to help their children keep secrets. When parents respect their children\’s little secrets, children are more likely to trust their parents. Never make fun of your child\’s embarrassments in front of everyone. Trust may collapse the moment the secret is made public. From the moment my child was born, my heart has been touched by tenderness. I only hope that his future will be treated gently by this world. As parents, each of us and our children are friends of life and death. Protecting children from harm is something we will do our best. In a child\’s crucial early experience, every word and every action may cause a lifelong \”butterfly effect.\” The world of the future will be held up by children. No matter who you are, please be kind to every child around you. Practitioners in the children\’s education industry shoulder the important task of opening up children\’s lifelong character and cognition. Please: don\’t enter this industry unless you are kind.