Child, I know you are smart, but everyone else is working hard

Yesterday, I received a very long message from a mother. The mother said, I encountered a problem – \”child\’s parent-teacher meeting\”! In fact, this is not the first time this problem has arisen. Since my child was in third grade, his father and I have always had problems at parent-teacher conferences. A scene like this often occurs at home the day before the parent-teacher meeting: Your child will have a parent-teacher meeting tomorrow, husband, go ahead! No, no, no, I have a meeting tomorrow, my wife, you go ahead! … Speaking of which, you may be wondering, why neither my father nor I want to go to the parent-teacher meeting? Because the child\’s grades are so poor, most of the parents of his classmates are our classmates, which is really shameful… But it is undeniable that our children are indeed smart, and even his teacher often visits us He praised his child in front of us for being smart, and assured us: Your child is very smart, and the teachers in our office like him very much. As long as he studies hard, his grades will definitely be good. But my child just doesn’t want to work hard. It’s useless to talk too much. Martian Mom, what do you think I should do? 1. My child is very smart, but he just doesn’t work hard. “My child is very smart, but he doesn’t pay attention to his studies. If he takes it seriously, his academic performance will definitely be good.” Almost every teacher has said this, and every parent must have heard of it. I heard this countless times when I was a student. Later, I asked some of my classmates who became teachers, and they said that they would often say these words to their parents. When I asked why I told parents this, they reluctantly stated several reasons: 1. Children are indeed very smart and can make sense with just one click. This is a fact. 2. You cannot completely deny your children because of their poor performance. You must give your children and parents hope that they can be alert and work hard. But every time when our parents hear the teacher’s comments like this, they will automatically ignore the first half of the sentence, leaving only the second half of the sentence, “As long as my children take it seriously, their academic performance will definitely be good.” If your child studies hard, his grades will definitely be better than yours!\” But the fact is: children\’s academic performance has always been inferior to others, and the so-called intelligence is just a little clever. 2. My child, I know you are smart, but others are working hard. We grew up with the encouragement of \”smartness\”, and the best praise we can think of for people is also smartness. But I hope that next time we praise our children, we can stop using the word \”smart\”. Surveys show that children who have been evaluated as \”very smart and careless\” for a long time can easily develop a \”performative personality\”, need to live in the praise of others, and are never willing or able to give their best. According to analysis, the results of such children are usually not bad, but they are not likely to be among the best, and they may even look down on those hard-working students. Their mentality is that I haven\’t tried my best yet, and if I try my best, I can leave them far away. But the fact is often that they can never do their best because these students generally have shortcomings such as poor concentration and low resilience. They are unwilling to lay a solid foundation down-to-earth, and always like to put on some showy tricks. When something goes wrong, they can not only make excuses but also quickly comfort themselves. Superficial learning will only make their children\’s grades fall further and further behind. write toI couldn\’t help but think of a question Niuniu once asked me: \”Mom, why do Beibei\’s grandparents and parents next door praise Beibei for being smart? Why have you never praised me for being smart? Is it because I\’m not smart? ? But Beibei’s grandparents, parents, and mom also say I’m smart!” Yes, kid, you are very smart, you are as smart as other children. But there are many smart children who work very hard. Mom likes your intelligence and hopes that you will be a hard-working and motivated child. In this highly competitive society, if you don\’t even have the awareness to work hard, you will soon be eliminated by society. Who knew you were smart at that time? My child, my mother is not afraid of you being ordinary, but she is worried that you will ruin your own path because of your cleverness. My child, you still have a long way to go in life. Mom and Dad cannot always be by your side. They can only gradually train you to adapt to this society, and the most necessary ability to adapt to this society is hard work. No matter what industry you are engaged in in the future, or what major you are interested in, or what kind of environment you face, only hard work can help you survive in the industry of your choice. 3. If you don’t work hard, why should you ask your children to work hard? Someone asked how to make children learn to work hard? How can we make children realize the importance of hard work? In fact, it is very simple. If parents want their children to work hard, they must first learn to work hard. The best education we can give our children is not about how many interest classes and training classes we sign up for, or how many tutors we hire, nor is it about endlessly satisfying all his needs. It is the subtle influence of parents on their children. Some time ago, there was a saying on the Internet: \”If you are good enough, your children will be wonderful!\” On the contrary, if you hang around mahjong tables, wine tables, shopping malls, mobile phones, computers, etc. all day long, then why do you ask your children to study hard? Woolen cloth? As one teacher complained: When it’s time to accompany your children to do their homework, you kill everyone on the mahjong table! When it\’s time to cultivate your children\’s independent learning ability, you are looking around on the street! When it\’s time to pay attention to the psychological changes of your children, you are shouting and drinking at the wine shop! Wait until the child stops studying, starts skipping classes, and becomes tired of studying. You suddenly feel, what happened to our good baby? So you start to persuade your children to study hard and not to be addicted to games. Little do they know that what the child wants to ask most is, \”Mom and Dad, why don\’t you study but ask me to study hard every day? Why do you play mahjong, go shopping, and play with mobile phones every day, but ask me to read boring textbooks?\” \”Crooked\”, this should be the most familiar sentence. Why should I ask my children to work hard when I am living my life in a muddleheaded way? Maybe your child will not become what you are now in the future, but he will definitely learn to imitate you in a subtle way. If you go all out, he will also work hard. If you are half-hearted, he will also be lazy and dawdle. Maybe you are not a very outstanding social elite, it doesn\’t matter, just let your children see you trying your best. If you ask your children to study hard, you have to put down your mobile phone and work hard or read a book. If you dislike your child\’s poor performance, you should put down your dignity, study with your child and overcome the problems.; If you blame your child for not living up to expectations, then work harder yourself and give your child a good example and confidence first. Believe that if you are a very good and hard-working person, the children around you will definitely be able to feel your intentions, and they will naturally not be any worse.