Child, why do your parents always have trouble with you?

I was greeting Dalizi for the New Year, and he started complaining without even saying a few words. Dalizi\’s daughter is in her third year of high school this year. She came here during the half-year vacation, and she doesn\’t look like a college entrance examination candidate. Luo Liba\’s big chestnut couldn\’t stand the Spring Festival Gala, but her daughter watched it with great interest. Da Lizi said, \”If you had the energy to study, you would have done it a long time ago.\” The naughty child jumped on his feet and shouted to his mother. \”If it hadn\’t been for the Chinese New Year, I would have wanted to slap her twice…\” Listening to Dalizi\’s words, I remembered her arrogance that she almost wanted to go to the house to destroy her because she didn\’t let her daughter watch the Spring Festival Gala on New Year\’s Eve last year. I felt the same way as Dalizi\’s anger. . Thank God, my daughter finally passed the college entrance examination. As a freshman this year, she can finally watch the Spring Festival Gala with confidence and confidence, but this does not mean that there will be less conflicts between us. On the twenty-ninth day of the twelfth lunar month, I was cleaning up the room. The clothes in the washing machine were washed, and I called my daughter to dry them. She turned back three times, reluctantly leaving the TV, and ran back in less than a minute. When I went to the balcony to see it, I almost got angry. The clothes were taken out of the washing machine and randomly placed on the clothes drying pole. It was a complete fool. A twenty-year-old girl can’t even dry a piece of clothing, so what else can she do? After nagging a few words, my daughter became anxious: \”I don\’t have a problem with not working. Why do I still have a problem with working? I\’m on annual leave. Why do you always have trouble with me?\” The war here has not ended yet, and the male Mr. Pisces is having trouble with his daughter again. A conflict occurred. He tried Coke chicken wings for the first time and asked his daughter to look up the recipe on her phone. My daughter helped me check it out. The six-step cooking process, she was so good at it, automatically reduced it to three steps: blanch it in water, stir-fry it in oil, pour Coca-Cola and let it simmer for a while. After saying that, he put down his phone and went back to watching TV in a hurry. The male Mr. Pisces freed up his hand to grab the phone and took a look at it. He got angry and said, \”Why don\’t you tell me the ingredients, oil temperature, and the amount of cola? How old are you? You can\’t read the recipe completely!\” \”Why do you always keep saying it?\” It’s just nit-picking. There are so many problems with reading a recipe.” If I don’t do enough, how can I be a father without getting angry? Once I get angry, I can’t help but go to the top of the line: “Why are you repeating it? You only got an ordinary exam in one year, you don’t pay attention to anything, you don’t know everything through your head, you can’t read a recipe well, what else will you do in the future, what can you do…\” The man who celebrated the Chinese New Year was scolded by his father , my daughter was furious: \”I shouldn\’t have come back during this annual vacation. From the day I entered the house, I have found faults with others. In your eyes, I am useless. Outside, everyone likes me.\” One wow, one wow. Woof woof, it was so noisy that my daughter rushed to her room and locked the door, unable to come out. The male Mr. Pisces was furious: \”You are not allowed to come back during the holidays in the future.\” You are not allowed to come back during the holidays in the future? There was still half a month before the holiday, and as a father, he seemed to be very excited. He kept talking about why he didn\’t have a holiday, why he didn\’t have a holiday every day. This was great. He had only been back for a few days, and when the excitement had passed, he issued an eviction order again. When the child doesn\’t come home, I think the child will find faults when he comes home. This is the way our family is used to opening up the parent-child relationship. During our high school days, every time we reunited, our children and we would smile like flowers, let alone the intimate moments.. Don’t worry, it won’t be long before conflicts begin to arise. When learning is your main job, learning is a contradiction. When they go to college and their grades are pretty good, their children\’s trivial behaviors become the subject of criticism again. Compared with those particularly rebellious children, my daughter is actually not too outrageous. Therefore, although we dislike her in every possible way, in the eyes of other parents, the girl still has a lot of merits. Strangely enough, as long as she is around us, we can\’t help but find faults. Are parents too harsh in this state? Or is the child not doing enough? This problem is not only faced by Mr. Pisces and I, but also by many families similar to ours. Parents clearly love their children, why must this love be shown in a picky way? I am so eager to hope that my son will become a dragon. Every child is unique in the hearts of his parents. No matter what talents and qualities the children have, no matter what designs and plans they have for their lives, in the eyes of parents, the children they give birth to have the potential to be born every minute. The more ambitious parents are and the more they place high hopes on their children, the more strict they will be with their children. This is why some children are praised by their parents for passing the exam, while some children are beaten even if they score 90 points. As far as our daughter is concerned, she only went to an ordinary school. As parents, we know very well that she is not particularly outstanding at the moment, but deep down, Mr. Pisces and I have never given up our hope for our children. Subconsciously, she still feels that as long as she works hard, she can grow from a relatively low starting point into a very outstanding person. Because of this, we will always train and educate her with perfect standards. This kind of painstaking effort is not limited to me and Mr. Pisces. Too many parents will think this way when faced with less capable children. Even if the child has no hope for him, the parents still will not admit defeat. This kind of unwillingness to admit defeat is destined to make parents unknowingly picky about their children. This kind of pickiness does not mean that they don\’t love, but that they love too eagerly. Worrying about your children\’s future is unfounded. After my daughter went to college, every time I saw or heard news about the employment pressure of college students, I would feel an uneasy feeling of worry. Although I have certain plans for my daughter\’s future, I still feel uncontrollably worried when I think about how she will perform in the next three years of her undergraduate studies. Many times, we think too far ahead. When our children finish their studies, should they take the exam route or become a free person outside the system? What are the benefits within the system and what are the benefits outside the system? The more I think about it, the more I worry. The more I worry, the less sure I am of my child’s potential. The four years of college are a critical period for the initial formation of a social person. Parents usually can\’t see or touch them in school, but it\’s so easy to come back to them, so why don\’t they make a good identification and give guidance? Because things like hanging clothes and reading recipes are all on the line, others may think they are nit-picking, but this is from the perspective of an onlooker. For me and Mr. Pisces, what we care about is not whether this thing is done well, but we are worried that if we can\’t even do such a small thing well, how can we rest assured about other things. It may not matter if you do something bad once or twice;If you develop the habit of not taking your mind off your mind in everything, what will you do in the future? Therefore, being strict with your child now is not to be picky, but to minimize the possibility of her hitting a wall in the future. Unfortunately, children are unaware of their parents\’ worries. Even if they are told to them, they will feel that their parents are exaggerating. It is impossible for a fledgling child to understand the cruelty of the world, let alone the necessary self-knowledge. Therefore, when it comes to them, their parents\’ corrections are not love, but become a rope. Only parents can see the true face of their children. Every time I hear me scolding my daughter for not living up to expectations, my friends always think that I am too demanding and too harsh. They think their children are pretty good, including my daughter, who always quotes praise from others. Her words answered our critical questions. You can\’t say what outsiders say is intended to be flattering, but it is also true that no one in the world understands their children better than their parents. My daughter is outside, well-educated, and can maintain the most basic standards of what she should say and do. As soon as I get home, I no longer need any deliberate politeness or pretense, and I can be as casual as I want. At this time, the shortcomings hidden under the basic level are exposed. In front of the unconcealed true self, children cannot see their own shortcomings, and some confused parents cannot see their children\’s shortcomings, but most parents like me and Mr. Pisces can clearly see what shortcomings their children have. Board. These shortcomings, although now dealing with others, are not easily exposed. But this does not mean that it will not affect her life in the long life to come. Take my daughter as an example. Her carelessness, her fiery temper, her lack of planning, her three-minute enthusiasm for everything, etc., all these shortcomings in her character will not be a problem unless she encounters a problem. Once she encounters a problem, , will become a big problem that cannot be avoided. It’s not that easy to wait until something goes wrong and then fix it, or to wait until the character is fully formed before adjusting it. In order to let her, who is the most real, have a relatively correct outlook on things from the root, we will constantly remind and educate her to nip problems in the bud, and try our best to make her understand that although the environment is different from the inside and outside, only those who are the same inside and outside can Truly invincible. There is nothing trivial in life, every trivial matter is a clue laid for future life in the present. This is what is meant by the saying that character determines destiny. Children hate their parents to find fault, but in this world, except for parents who can openly and honestly criticize their children, and with love as the purpose and starting point, who else can do this? If such painstaking efforts are to be fully understood, it will take time. But there cannot be any delay in the growth of children. Therefore, it is better that children do not understand now, and parents who are truly far-sighted will still be picky to the end. I don’t want my child to become a victim of pampering. When I get too angry after a conflict with my daughter, I will occasionally have the thought of slacking off: Forget it, just let her go as she pleases, or it may not be true that she can become a great person and be upright. \”Anyone can make excuses for their children, except parents.\” In this regard, Mr. Pisces male is more principled than me. Mr. Pisces, a male, has a distant cousin who has been left alone since he was a child. Children from other families are beaten and scolded when they are older, but this is not the case for my cousin.Ever since I was little, my parents have never given me a thumbs up, so I can do whatever I want. When they see others being strict with their children, my cousin\’s parents will feel particularly confused: \”The children are still so young, how can we use adult standards to compare and demand them?\” When my cousin is older, hanging out has become a habit, and his academic performance is naturally not good. . There is nothing wrong with spending money to find a job, marrying a wife and having children, everything seems to be going according to plan. Now, my cousin is forty years old, and other people\’s sons of such an age have already established themselves in the family, but he can\’t. His job was not good, his family was not harmonious, and he was getting divorced not long ago. Desperate, he rushed to his parents, crying and fussing, acting like a three-year-old child, hoping that his parents would help him. Solve it. After talking about the negative examples, let’s talk about myself. Mr. Pisces, a male, came out to explain how picky his mother-in-law has been towards the three brothers since they were young. \”It was very annoying when I was young. I always felt that my mother was very busy. She was even picky about the way she held her chopsticks when eating and the way she walked. Only when I reached this age did I realize that the old man\’s pickiness, although I didn\’t accept it at the time, had subtly influenced me. It has a lot of influence.\” When will the children understand the parents\’ painstaking efforts? When you truly mature and benefit from it, you will truly understand. Therefore, parent-child relationships all over the world are often inseparable from two models: one is a harmonious and friendly relationship where children are pampered by their parents during their growth period, and then have all kinds of dissatisfaction and complaints when they grow up; the other is where children are not so rebellious with their parents during their growth period, After I have truly matured, I am grateful for my parents\’ strictness in the past. The former is 80% tragic, while the latter may have a tortuous process, but always ends in comedy. Being strict with your children means not only loving your children, but also loving yourself. Lao Zhang\’s son grew up pampered and pampered, and became obsessed with gambling as an adult. He lost little at first, and his parents helped him to make up for his losses. Later, the more I played, the more courageous I became, and the more I played, the more addicted I became, and I actually borrowed a loan shark. The first time he borrowed a loan shark, Lao Zhang sold his car to help his son pay off the debt. Seeing his father, who was nearly sixty years old, doing this to him, the son burst into tears and vowed to change. But just a year ago, he failed to control his gambling addiction and took out a loan shark again. This time the amount is larger, and it is impossible to get through this difficulty without selling the house. During the Chinese New Year, other families were rejoicing, but Lao Zhang’s family was running around renting a house. For the sake of his son, Lao Zhang decided to sell the old home he had worked so hard to buy. After running around for most of my life, I am getting old and have no fixed place to live. The root cause of all tragedies is raising a useless son. Outsiders say that Lao Zhang’s doting and pampering ruined his son. In fact, Lao Zhang ruined himself. Many people say that raising children to protect against old age is unreliable, so we shouldn’t place too much hope on our sons. We can always take care of ourselves when we get old. But if the children who are pampered and raised are useless, not only can they not prevent old age, but they will also eat up and ruin old age, just like Lao Zhang who sells his house to help his son pay off the loan sharks at the age of seventy. Isn\’t this a tragic scene that makes people sigh? Therefore, even if it is not for the children, but for ourselves, we should be strict + picky with our children. In a certain sense, being responsible for our children’s future is being responsible for our own future. At first glance, parents’ strict pickiness may seem like a problem with their children, but in fact it isIn order for the children to be able to live in good times and bad times in the future. At first glance, parents\’ strict pickiness may seem like a problem with their children, but in fact, it is so that they can live with themselves for the rest of their lives, no matter whether their children become successful or not. Those who understand this, please continue to be strict with your children. Those who don\’t understand this point will indulge and indulge themselves and follow the king\’s will.