Childhood is not \”carefree\”, but full of all kinds of setbacks and \”pain\”

Yesterday I took my daughter to the hospital to have her ears checked. While waiting in line, there was a baby in the examination office next to me who was crying very loudly. I couldn\’t help but turn my head and look around, and saw a little girl about 2 years old, being held in her arms by her father. The father looked serious and just held down the child\’s hands and feet to prevent her from moving. He stared at the child\’s right hand and handed it to the nurse inside who was drawing blood. In fact, we often see such scenes, but the little girl today particularly touched me because I saw her resisting so hard, using all her strength, kicking her calves hard, waving her hands hard, and her whole body was in front of her I was twisting and turning in my arms, crying loudly, \”Mom! Mom!\” At that moment, my eyes became wet. A child of about two years old already understands what is about to happen, she has memories of pain, and she is very scared. But she didn\’t understand why she had to endure such pain. She just instinctively wanted to escape from the harm, but under the control of her powerful father, all her efforts were useless, so she could only cry loudly regardless of everything, Ask mom for help! What was the child thinking at that moment? Does she wonder why Daddy Dearest is putting her in harm\’s way? When the needle tip finally penetrated her finger, the little girl stopped struggling and gave up resistance, but the pain made her cry sharper and louder. Her father is probably a person who is not very good at coaxing children, or he does not realize that the child needs comfort, or is too nervous and forgets to comfort the child. He still does not say a word, holds the child aside and sits to wait for the test. Blood results. The child was still crying, but the cry was different from before. Before the blood was drawn, her cry was mixed with screams, full of fear and panic. Now her crying was full of grievance and sadness. This reminds me of a child I knew who needed a bone marrow test for suspected leukemia. It is said that this process is so painful that even adults can’t bear it. The child was taken for examination by doctors and nurses. When he came back, he asked his mother: \”I was almost killed by them just now. Why didn\’t you come to save me?\” Everyone who heard it cried. It\’s summer vacation when my daughter Xiaoxi turns 3 years old. We are in a private kindergarten, which is more flexible than public ones, so I plan to let her enter the kindergarten early so that she can get to know her classmates who are about to be promoted to kindergarten. Avoid the rush to start school in September. Although I took her to the kindergarten several times before and did a lot of psychological construction with her, Xiaoxi\’s reaction on the day she went there was so intense that I still remember it fresh and I still find it thrilling. That morning, her grandma and I carried the quilt one by one and the child by the other. Xiaoxi jumped all the way to the classroom door with us. After handing the quilt and the child to the teacher, my grandma and I said goodbye to Xiao Xi and turned around to leave. It was about this time that Xiao Xi really realized that we were going to leave her there alone, and she suddenly gave up and wanted to follow us. I was walking on the stairs and heard the child crying hysterically behind me and shouting desperately: \”Mom! Mom!\” I didn\’t dare to stop. At the corner of the stairs, I caught a glimpse of two teachers pulling Xiao Xi. She was almost lying on the ground, struggling with all her strength. Those heartbreaking words of \”Mom\” made meInstantly, my face burst into tears, and I almost cried out. I was in a daze for the next whole day, and my eyes were filled with tears many times. I can completely imagine how scared and sad the child is: facing a strange environment and strange people, she needs her mother\’s company and protection, but her mother keeps moving away from her step by step. She wants to catch up in her mother\’s footsteps, but she can\’t make any money no matter what. Taking off the teacher\’s arm, I could only watch my mother leave. What would it be like if my child and I were in a different place and experienced an equal amount of fear and sadness? We often talk about a carefree childhood, and always think that children are the least worried. In fact, this is really wrong. The number of setbacks children encounter in life may far exceed our imagination. We often don’t connect a child’s crying with his or her mood, probably because children’s crying “comes and goes quickly” and their attention is easily diverted. Because tears can turn into laughter in an instant, so we think their \”crying\” doesn\’t matter. In fact, every time a child cries, it is a real emotional experience. He must experience negative emotions such as sadness and disappointment before he cries. The child is unwilling to take bitter medicine, unwilling to take an injection, wants a favorite toy but cannot get it, wants to eat snacks but is not allowed, and is forced to be separated from his mother… These are all setbacks and hardships. The Buddha said that there are three major \”external sufferings\” in life, namely: the suffering of not getting what you want, the suffering of separation from love, and the suffering of meeting resentment and hatred. Children have been experiencing these three major hardships: they can\’t get toys and snacks they want, they have resentment meetings when their mothers go to work or their children go to school every day when they need injections and medicines. We shrug it off because we don’t remember what we experienced when we were young. We look at children\’s setbacks from an adult\’s perspective. We had the foresight to understand the need for school and to anticipate the pain of separation and to adapt quickly. We know that children take injections and medicines for better health, and we don’t buy them random toys and snacks to help them develop good habits. But the child may not understand the necessity of doing this. All he experiences is all kinds of personal suffering, so they can only cry. Please don\’t ignore your child\’s crying. Give him a hug. If not, give him a smile or an encouraging look. Only in this way can he have more courage to overcome the setbacks and sufferings everywhere in life. Love and tolerance are the source of strength for children!