Children are hyperactive, impulsive, inattentive, sloppy, procrastinating and love to cause trouble. The root cause may be here.

In every class, there are probably children who are distracted and impulsive, unruly, unconstrained, love to cause trouble, and lack organization. Most of these children have poor academic performance and are called \”problem children\”. In school, as long as there are two or three such children in a class, it can turn a happy classroom into a battlefield and torture a kind and good teacher to exhaustion. As long as there is such a child at home, parents will always be filled with anger and frustration, have doubts about their own education methods, and even lose confidence in the future. Many people attribute the behavior of such children to poor family education. Including parents themselves, they attribute their children\’s performance to the failure of family education. Children will also become the scapegoats for all family problems. British pediatrician George Steele believes after research that the problems in these children do not come from improper family education, but have physiological causes or injuries at birth. George Steele first coined the term \”attention deficit disorder\” (ADHD). Yes, children with such problems are often called \”attention deficit disorder\” or \”hyperactivity disorder\”. In fact, they are just easily distracted. Distraction is incorrectly called \”attention deficit disorder\”, but there is no \”deficiency\”, there is just wandering and wandering of attention. A distracted person is like a child on a picnic, without any regard for other reasons or any dangers, guided only by curiosity. There are approximately 15 million distracted people in the United States. The male to female ratio is approximately 3:1 (some books record it as 4:1). Both adults and children can suffer from this condition. \”Little Doudou by the Window\”, a book written by Tetsuko Kuroyanagi about her childhood experiences, completely reproduces the daily life of an ADHD child. She also mentioned in \”Things I\’ve been thinking about since I was a child\” that the reason why she was like that was entirely due to her high energy and curiosity, and she did not intend to confront the teacher. In reality, such children are often scolded by their parents or teachers for being \”disobedient\”. They may also be labeled as \”bad children\” and are always beaten without explanation. They were punished for disrupting classroom order and often took the blame. Their parents are often frequent visitors to the teacher\’s office as well. It is generally believed that the reason why children become like this is because they \”failed to establish rules\” and \”failed to develop good behavioral habits.\” The father will blame his wife for being too pampered with the children, and the mother will complain that the husband is indifferent to the children, and family conflicts are about to break out. On the surface, they all love their children and want them to be well. In fact, they are all shirking responsibility and cannot afford the \”failure\” in their children\’s education. Especially today, when the family of origin is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people, parents are even more unable to accept their children\’s \”stubbornness\”. Therefore, parents are always stipulating this and stipulating that. The regulations are getting stricter, the punishments are getting heavier, and there are more and more restrictions. Naturally, the child will become more and more rebellious, less and less cooperative, and gradually distance itself from the family. This makes parents angry and helpless, thinking that the child is disobedient, without thinking that this is because the child\’s nervous system is immature. , or developmental abnormalities. The typical characteristic of this type of children is \”playing cards without following the rules.\” Because of poor self-control ability, high energy, strong curiosity, easily distracted, unable to calm down, and procrastination in homework, pursuing excitement and being unruly, left an extremely bad impression on teachers and parents, so that all his advantages and strengths were hidden under his shortcomings and problems. But if someone concludes that this child has no future, he is too arbitrary and neither tolerant nor kind. Asia\’s first UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, Tetsuko Kuroyanagi, the author of \”Little Bean by the Window\”, was ordered to drop out of school after only three months of enrollment because she could not abide by school rules. Teachers of U.S. President Lincoln and automobile king Ford both said they were hopeless. When the novelist Irving was in high school, he was almost dropped out of high school because of a learning disability. Einstein was not good at communicating with others. He was very poor in other studies except mathematics. When he went to college, he had to look for a school that did not require examinations. Edison also dropped out of school after just a few months. Teachers and classmates called him \”idiot\” and \”incompetent.\” Leo Tolstoy, a world-famous literary giant, was forced to drop out of school when he was young because he failed the exam and his behavior was unorganized. If these celebrities are far away from us, look back at your classmates, your neighbors, or yourself. What happened to those children who didn\’t study well, were naughty, were often criticized by teachers, and had chalk thrown at them? Yes, some of them are still confused, but more of them have already occupied a place in their fields of expertise. Although I can\’t say that I am successful, I at least have something to do, have an income, have a family, and live an ordinary life. That being the case, what else is there to worry about? At the end of the day, aren\’t 99% of people just ordinary people? I once interviewed a senior psychiatrist. He does adult counseling. I once did children\’s consultation for a period of time, but was forced to give up because of too much pressure. He said: \”These children are basically brought to us for consultation by their parents because of academic or behavioral problems. In just 50 minutes of communication, sand table therapy or behavioral observation, I almost collapsed. As you can imagine, facing this every day How much pressure will parents have on their children.\” Therefore, his suggestion is that parents should transform changing their children\’s concepts into seeking psychological support for themselves, that is, enhancing their psychological endurance and not scolding them just because of a few criticisms from teachers. Children, do not pass on the pressure to your children just because of a few words of criticism from others. Remember, distractions are not your child’s fault! Of course, it’s not the parents’ fault! Possibly an heirloom – again showing the power of genes. Because the main factor of distraction is forgetfulness! pass! In \”Distraction Is Not My Fault\”, the famous American psychologist Edward Hallowell gave the diagnostic criteria for attention deficit disorder in children (each criterion is significantly stronger than that of the average person of the same mental age). To be considered consistent): 1. Keep moving your hands and feet or moving around on the chair. 2. Unable to sit still when asked to sit. 3. Easily distracted by external stimuli. 4. He blurts out the answer before others have finished asking the question. 5. Don’t wait patiently while playing games. 6. Difficulty following other people’s instructions. 7. Difficulty staying focused when playing games or doing things. 8. Frequently switching from one unfinished task to another. 9. Unable to play quietly. 10. Don’t talk much. 11. Frequently interrupts others. 12. He often seems distracted when others speak to him. 13. Dropping things often. 14. Frequently perform dangerous actions without considering the consequences. for reference only. No conclusion can be drawn without professional diagnosis. Having distracted children at home can be a real headache. Traditional Chinese education believes that children who are serious and down-to-earth, sensible and obedient, and study well are good children. Of course, such children are indeed good children. Having a son like this is a blessing gained from previous lives. However, children who are distracted, impulsive, maverick, and have poor grades cannot be defined as \”bad children\” because of this. From another perspective, they also have many advantages. For example, they are easily distracted because they are curious, impulsive because they are full of creativity, and active because they are energetic. Research by psychology experts has found that 1/3 of children with attention deficit disorder will recover without treatment as adults, and the other 2/3 will not get better when they grow up. It seems that the ending is not too pessimistic. Conflict is inevitable when there are distracted children at home. Because your child\’s behavior is always challenging your bottom line. Don\’t expect your children to control their emotions, modify their behavior, and meet your standards. If parents do not want to turn the family into a battlefield, they must put aside their own standards, see the real child, and adopt a \”based on merit\” perspective on the child\’s performance. 1. Don’t always want to reform your child and find fault with his behavior, but learn to look for the bright spots in him. 2. Avoid over-control and avoid forcing children to follow the various rules set by their parents. 3. Try to give him praise and encouragement. Children with attention deficit disorder need affirmation and praise even more. 4. Write down the strengths and problems of the child. Do not assume that the child is a good-for-nothing person. 5. Think of a feasible solution to each problem. For example, if you are procrastinating on your homework, you can read it with you for a limited time. Pay attention to controlling your emotions, although it is difficult. Remember, it can be just as hard for kids to focus on homework. 6. Always remember the strengths of children with ADHD: energy, creativity, sincerity, and kindness. Finally, if you have distracted children at home, remember that many, many of these children live well as adults. And, you are not fighting alone.