There is a \”translimit effect\” in psychology, which tells us that continuous high-intensity stimulation will make people impatient. When getting along with their children, parents need to avoid repeatedly saying hurtful words, because this will not only fail to educate the children, but will trigger their boredom and rebellious psychology. The following are the 5 things that children hate most from their parents. I hope that as parents, we will never say a word. 1. The sentence \”I told you so\” SUMMARY often carries the meaning of blaming and shirking responsibility. When children face difficulties or make mistakes, parents respond with this sentence, which is undoubtedly implying: \”I have warned you, but you didn\’t listen. Is there something wrong now?\” Such words will only make the child feel more Frustration and self-blame, as well as an inability to learn from failures, may make them resentful of their parents. Writer Jin Weichun once warned us: \”Never say \’I told you so\’ again, especially to children.\” Because such words will not only fail to solve the problem, but will also undermine the child\’s self-confidence and enthusiasm. Next time, try changing it to \”What can I do for you?\” 2. “What’s the point of getting angry about such a trivial matter?” SUMMARY What a “trivial matter” in the eyes of a child may be a big deal to them. When parents belittle their children\’s emotions and use these words to respond to their dissatisfaction or grievances, the children will feel that their feelings are not understood and respected. Over time, children may learn to hide their true emotions, and the emotional distance between them and their parents will gradually widen. Research shows that children\’s emotions are closely related to the development of the prefrontal lobe of the brain, and they need to express their feelings through emotions. Parents should listen to and understand their children\’s emotions, make them feel supported and safe, and give them inner strength even if they cannot change the current situation. 3. \”Look how good my children are\” SUMMARY comparison is a taboo in parent-child communication. When children hear their parents say, \”Look how good their children are,\” they feel devalued and denied. Every child is unique and has their own pace of growth and strengths. Parents should pay attention to the individual differences of their children and encourage them to develop their own potential instead of measuring them by other people\’s standards. In the movie \”River Love\”, his father\’s inadvertent comparison made his younger brother Paul become more rebellious and eventually embarked on a path of no return. Every child has a unique shining point, and it will be painful if their light is always obscured. 4. \”You must/must be…\” Subjective words such as SUMMARY will make children feel misunderstood and distrusted. When children hear words such as \”You must be lazy again\” and \”You must be lying\”, they will feel that they have formed a fixed negative image in their parents\’ minds, and they cannot change it no matter how hard they try. This crisis of trust can seriously damage the parent-child relationship and make the child feel lonely and helpless. 5. \”Why are you the only one…\” There is a popular post on SUMMARY: \”What is your most annoying way of speaking?\” A highly liked answer is: \”Habitual rhetorical questions.\” Rhetorical questions often contain Strong emotional color, when the child hears \”Why are you biased?\”\”Why are you so disobedient\” and \”Why are you so stupid\”, they will feel that they have been labeled negatively. Such remarks will make the children feel that they are different and a \”problem child\” , thus causing great harm to their self-esteem and self-confidence. The famous educator Suhomlinsky said: \”The true meaning of education lies in respect, and the first step of respect is listening and understanding. \”May we all be a warm haven in children\’s hearts instead of a thorn in their words.
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