Children do not obey how to do? The most ineffective way is to yell and collapse first.

Every time I talk about the troubles of raising children. There are always parents who accuse their children of being disobedient. But, you know what? Children\’s disobedience often reflects problems with parents, such as our growing lack of patience. I don’t have the patience to talk to my children properly. I don’t have the patience to listen to my children. Many times, children collapse simply because there is a communication problem. But you hurriedly said that the child was disobedient. I went to the mall a few days ago. I originally promised the little guy to go to the playground to play for a while after lunch. But after we finished eating, we found that we had left something behind in the store and we had to go get it. So I could only tell him to go later. He was a little unhappy, but agreed and said he would go later. When I went to that store, I remembered again whether the clothes I had spotted last time in the store next door were in stock. As a result, my son was very unhappy at this time. He directly said that he wanted to leave, said that I had agreed to take the things and left. I said I was just passing by, so just give me 5 minutes. But he didn\’t want to stay for a minute. I also forgot about the agreement at that time. I told him to give me a little time, \”Give daddy five minutes, and I will play with you for thirty minutes later.\” After hearing this, he cried loudly. Then one person walked forward. There was nothing I could do, so I followed him all the way. I was also angry, \”You can\’t give me a few minutes, I won\’t play anymore.\” At this time, I was like a child quarreling with him. If you hit me, I will hit you. When I finally got to the elevator, I calmed down. Pull him to sit on the rest table nearby. \”Why can\’t you give Dad a few minutes?\” \”We agreed.\” \”Yes, we agreed. Dad changed the plan. It\’s Dad\’s fault. It\’s just that we were passing by, so I wanted to make a change and spend a while. Take some time, I won\’t have time to go there next time.\” \”And why are you crying so loudly? Tell dad about it.\” He suddenly said to me in a very clear tone, \”Dad, why did you say you want me to give you something? You gave me five minutes, but you only gave me three minutes?\” To be honest, I can still remember the scene at that time. I was very happy when I heard him express it so clearly. Because he expressed his doubts completely. And the misunderstanding between us was resolved. I felt at the time that he was being unreasonable and would not even give me five minutes. But the child listened to thirty minutes as three minutes. You must know that he is in the digital sensitive period. After calculation, he still loses two minutes, and he knows that three minutes is not enough to play. He almost collapsed because of this incident. But at the time, I felt that he was stubborn and disobedient. Who is responsible? I feel the responsibility still lies with me. It’s me who should say sorry because I didn’t fulfill my promise. I broke the agreement first, and then hurt the child with childishness. Even under the guise of disciplining him and correcting his stubbornness. How many people in this world hurt each other because they lack effective communication. I thought you understood, I thought you would think so. But in fact? The two of them had completely different ideas. What\’s more, there is a big difference between the world of children and the world of adults. There will be more misunderstandings. When parents do this, children are more willing to listen. First, learn to listen and let your children express themselves freely. Don\’t rush to interrupt or correct the child, but be patientListen to your child. I remember once picking up Xiao Xiaoyu from school. There is an unpleasant smell in the community outside their kindergarten. \”It really stinks, where did it come from?\” I said, \”It\’s our kindergarten, I should call it a smelly school!\” My first reaction was how could I say that. Not polite! But I didn\’t say that, didn\’t blame him, and didn\’t correct him. Instead, continue talking to him. \”Take a closer look, which direction is the wind coming from today?\” He looked around and said he didn\’t know. \”Look at that flag, is it blowing to your school from here?\” \”Yes!\” \”I think the stench is blowing from the community.\” Then we happily discussed the wind along the way. How to blow. What does it matter if he said something about the smelly school at that time? Why bother with this, it must be corrected! I think parents\’ tolerance and listening will make children more willing to communicate with you. It\’s not the kind of thing where you say something about you and I just close my ears and not listen. When children can express their thoughts freely and completely. Many misunderstandings will be clarified and harm will be reduced. Secondly, be patient and speak in a different way. That day, my son learned \”Boancing at Guazhou\” at school. He said he could recite it, but I asked him if he knew the meaning. He said the teacher didn’t teach him and he didn’t know. I said let me talk about it. He looked unhappy and was eager to play. Ask me, \”Why do we need to understand the meaning of the poem, and why do we need to understand the author\’s story?\” Children will ask such questions, but they just don\’t want to do it, but want to complete the tasks assigned by the teacher as soon as possible. It happened to be a hazy day. I told him, look at the sky outside. Is it very foggy? \”Yes.\” \”But Dad not only saw the fog, I could also see the haze. The fog is a superficial phenomenon, but the haze is hidden behind it.\” \”What are the benefits of knowing it?\” I asked him next. That\’s when he became interested. He asked me if I knew. \”I know the dangers of haze. A lot of harmful dust will enter the lungs. People who don\’t know may still run and exercise outside, but it is actually not good for the body. When learning, you can\’t just see the surface, but look behind it. \”It will be easy to handle next. I started to tell him about Wang Anshi\’s experience, and then imagined with him the situation when the author wrote this poem. I admired my patience that day. If I had yelled at him and criticized him directly, he might have complied. But the effect is definitely completely different. Parents should allow their children to go against us and be disobedient. When their children are disobedient, many parents are eager to get their children to give in, give up their own opinions, and accept their parents\’ ideas. The catchphrase of many parents is \”Don\’t tell me, that\’s it!\” If you still argue, they will say: \”I eat more salt than you eat rice, you listen to me.\” \”Why do you want to Listen to me! Because I am an adult.\” Once this happens, what do you think will happen to this child? There are many children who pretend to listen, but are actually thinking about their own things. No matter how much you say, it\’s of no use. There is also a way to become a \”good baby\” without any independent opinions and to obey the parents\’ arrangements. Such children are actually the most pitiable. Because parents are not omnipotent. When parents are wrong, when parents are left behind by the times,when. They themselves make mistakes and are left behind. The goal of parents is not to make their children obedient, but to make their children feel that your words are listenable. Are parents worthy of their children\’s trust? became the key. Once trust is established with your child, your child will be willing to follow the rules you set together. Therefore, when communicating with your children, you must be truthful. If you can\’t do it, tell your child clearly that I can\’t do it. Some mothers said that their children like cars and will buy them as soon as they see them. But it’s impossible to buy it every time. I don’t want to listen. I don’t know what to do? Sometimes, children do make unreasonable demands, so don\’t deal with them. For example, one time my son said he wanted to buy a drone. The old man said yes, yes, I will buy it for you. I told him at that time: \”This toy is not suitable for you yet. You need to be older before you can play with it.\” He was not happy. I patiently explained to him the reasons why I couldn\’t buy it. And told him: \”Dad actually hopes that you can own a good drone, but you can\’t operate it now. When you go to elementary school, I will give you one.\” After getting my promise, he also No more trouble. Maybe, sometimes he will continue to make trouble. But I would tell him again, gently but firmly. Let him know that making trouble will not achieve the goal. When we have respect for our children and build trust in each other, you have a gentle and firm attitude. Children tend to be more obedient. This method is much more effective than yelling and collapsing on the spot. Try it!