Children don’t learn if they don’t want to. Parents are so wrong.

We have a custom here of giving a banquet to a child\’s twelfth birthday, which is called \”round lock\”. I have participated in several children\’s \”round lock\” banquets. Almost every time, after the host\’s opening remarks and the parents\’ speech, the \”round lock\” banquet turned into a special talent show for the little birthday girl. Piano, cucurbit flute, flute, dance… On this day, the children almost showed off their eighteen martial arts skills. The guests enjoyed and ate while appreciating the performance, and praised the children\’s talents and the education of their parents. Last weekend, I attended a little girl\’s \”Round Lock\” banquet. The difference was that the little girl came on stage and said a few words and then left. There was no talent show until the end of the banquet, which was very surprising. Later I heard that this little girl\’s parents loved her very much. They always gave their children whatever they wanted since they were young and didn\’t want anything they didn\’t want to disappear immediately before their eyes. When my child was 4 years old, he went to learn dance. He was very interested in it at first, but after a few lessons, he found it too painful to press his legs and didn’t want to join. Mom and Dad said: Aren’t we advocating happy education now? Children must be respected. If you don’t want to learn, just don’t learn. The girl went to piano lessons when she was five years old. Her family spent tens of thousands on an imported piano to train her as a pianist. Unexpectedly, the girl lost interest after studying for half a year. In this way, the girl tried many interest classes from childhood to adulthood, studying one way for half a year, another for a few months, and the longest one did not exceed one year. The result is that none of them can be learned for a long time. When the child held a twelfth birthday party, the host asked his parents what talents the child wanted to show off. Only then did they realize that the child had learned nothing well and knew nothing. Some parents keep saying that they want to give their children \”love and freedom\” and respect their children\’s choices. If their children say they want to learn, they will go to school immediately. If their children say they don\’t want to learn, they will just let it go and stop learning immediately. On the surface, this seems to respect the child, but in fact it is indulging the child\’s willfulness, which will harm the child. There is a formula for interest, interest = initial passion + continuous deliberate practice + breaking through bottlenecks. Not to mention children, some of us adults have never found something we truly love in our entire lives. Some people euphemistically say they love this and love that, but in the end they give up halfway. It’s all because I only had the passion at the beginning, but failed to persist through the burnout period and break through the bottleneck. Children\’s learning mostly starts based on interests. But after a period of time, there will be a period of slackness and a feeling of weariness about learning. At this time, the child will say, I don’t want to learn anymore. Children\’s nature is to play. Apart from playing, there is nothing they can really enjoy for a long time. At this time, the attitude of parents is very important. If parents dote on their children and are afraid that their children will suffer hardship, they will use the excuses of \”happy education\” and \”respect for children\” to let their children not learn if they want to. It will be like this when it is three years old, it will be like this when it is eight years old, and it will still be like this when it is eighteen years old. In the end, the child will be like the little girl at the \”round lock\” banquet, who only has a taste of everything and knows nothing. Truly wise parents know how to guide their children through the burnout period at this time and let them experience what true love and interest are. Even if your child is talented, if he gives up after studying for a short period of time, his talent in this area will be buried. Only after you really persist for a period of time can you know whether your child has talent for something.Endowment. In the second season of \”Mom is Superman\”, Ma Yashu took her daughter Mia to learn to dance. The dance teacher asked the children to lie down on the mat, practice leapfrogging, and helped Mia correct her movements. Mia, who was very interested at first, felt a lot of pain when the teacher helped her correct her striding movements. She started crying and didn\’t want to study anymore, and tried to run out of the classroom several times. Ma Yashu saw her daughter\’s condition through the glass, worry written on her face. But she didn\’t give in because of her daughter\’s troubles and took Mia home. Instead, after patiently asking Mia why she didn\’t want to study, she put on her dance clothes and entered the classroom to accompany Mia to class. Mia slowly became happy again when she saw her mother and herself doing various painful but beautiful movements together, and insisted on finishing the dance class. If Ma Yashu just loves the child blindly and Mia says she doesn\’t want to learn anymore, she will respect the child\’s ideas and take her home. The child will think that if I cry and make a fuss, I can skip class, and the same behavior will happen again next time. After a few times, the matter of taking dance classes was forgotten. Therefore, when children say they want to learn something, it is easy for parents to spend money and energy to take their children to learn it. When a child loses interest and no longer wants to learn, how parents respond is a test of their wisdom as parents. If a child says he doesn’t want to study anymore, what should parents do? 1. When a child expresses that he or she does not want to study, do not immediately give a clear response. Children sometimes say that they do not want to study because they feel uncomfortable or are in a temporary mood. Children forget things very quickly, and they may forget them by the next class. When a child says he doesn\’t want to learn anymore, parents can first express understanding, but don\’t give a clear response right away. The next time the child brings it up, have a good talk with him and give your own attitude. Maybe the child will never mention it again and will be interested again in the next class. 2. Find the reasons why children don’t want to learn. Sometimes children say they don’t like it just because they encounter a little difficulty and have a fear of difficulty. Sometimes it\’s because he wants to play and is afraid that studying will delay his play time, and sometimes it\’s just pure laziness. Parents should try their best to find out the reasons and then find solutions. 3. Pay full attention to your child\’s learning and accompany your child in the process of learning. You need to do it at a fixed time, rain or shine, which is indeed not easy. This requires even more attention and companionship from parents. Try to take time to send your child to study in person and tell your child that you are there waiting for him during class. In life, show great concern for your children\’s learning achievements, speak more encouraging words to your children, and guide your children to show their learning achievements to other family members, teachers and classmates. Doing so will help enhance your child\’s interest and confidence, making him more willing to continue learning. In short, when a child says he doesn\’t want to learn, the parents say: \”If you\’re not happy, we won\’t learn. No matter what, happiness is the most important thing.\” This is the greatest irresponsibility for children to let their children\’s willfulness go. If they want their children to turn their interests into specialties, parents need to \”force\” their children when they don\’t want to learn. Only in this way can they guide their children through the burnout period and experience the deep happiness that persistence brings after the passion. Cai Kangyong said: When you were 15 years old, you found swimming difficult and gave up swimming. When you were 18 years old and met someone you liked and asked you to go swimming, you had to say \”I don’t know how to do it.” When you were 18, you thought English was difficult and gave up. When you were 28, a great job came up that required you to know English, so you had to say “I don’t know how to do it.” The more troublesome you are in the early stages of life, the less lazy you are to learn, and later on The more likely you are to miss out on the people and things that interest you, and miss out on new scenery. As a parent, don’t help your children make wrong decisions at an age when they don’t understand the need for self-discipline and other disciplines.