Children, don’t listen to Grandma Wolf’s threats, the future won’t be so hard.

I recently participated in a parent training meeting. The lecturer was a mother who seemed to have a successful education. She started talking as soon as she came on stage: I would rather owe you a happy teenager than watch you become a humble adult. If you don\’t hang your head now, you will be doomed in the future. He lived a very humble, messy and undignified life. In this lecturer\’s description, the future is like Monk Tang\’s quest for Buddhist scriptures, surrounded by dangers and dark. Then she concluded: If you don’t work hard now, you will only have to work hard in the future. When this lecturer made such an impassioned speech, my mood at that time, let alone a child, even as an adult, I felt that tomorrow would be boring! Just beg if you are about to die. Coincidentally, the recent popular articles in WeChat Moments are all in the same tone as a strategic gauntlet, such as taking care of children as early as possible. Each article is an educational drama involving hardships and bitter love. They all smell of gunpowder and the strategies of Sun Tzu\’s Art of War. . After listening and watching, I not only asked myself: Do we only have excitement and bitterness in educating our children? Can\’t we tell our children that life is not about encountering beauty? Isn\’t growing up a pleasant thing? Is it necessary to describe the future as extremely evil and full of mountains and rivers in order for children to value the effort of growing up? Comparing our feelings, we have also grown up from children to now. Looking back, do those hard childhoods really play a vital role in your future? As you reach middle age, you will understand more and more that happiness and success are not related by blood, but those abundant growth are often the background and guide of your happiness. If we candidly tell our children that the future you see is not so dangerous, and may even be unexpectedly beautiful, is this a better motivation for children to grow up? When I was fourteen or five years old, I went through a period of particularly low self-esteem and gloom. At that time, the teacher said that there are only two futures for physical education students. One way is to either achieve good results and return home in glory; At that time, my special project had not yet been determined, and my grades were not outstanding in the team. I was a well-educated and thin person who could only rely on guessing to read and count by showing off. Which school would want such an idiot? And I innocently asked the teacher to give us a clear path. Obviously the teacher was helpless against fools like us. He pointed at the beggar picking up garbage outside the window and said: Well, he is your future! I still remember that scene very clearly. There was a period of time when it was particularly hopeless and gray. I certainly didn’t want to live a life of picking up garbage. Instead of seeing a miserable future, it would be better to end it with dignity. For a while, I thought every day about which way to die was not painful. Fortunately, at that time, I read Sanmao\’s book. From her words, I saw that she had experienced a hopeless youth like me, but she actually got it. Such a bright adult, her Sahara hotel, her free and easy wandering, inadvertently let me see the vision and future, and then I discovered that life can still be lived like this. Fortunately, I came across Sanmao\’s writing during those gray days. She showed me a bright future, which was the motivation to live. Only when you are alive can you understand that everyone\’s future is like \”Little Horse Crossing the River\” in the Chinese language book. It is neither as hard as the teacher said, nor as free and easy as the Sanmao text. It is a unique experience and wonderful. There are two sentences to describeDescribe the future I see: One sentence is that there must be a road before the car reaches the mountain; the second sentence is that all roads lead to Rome. The beauty of growing up is that everything is possible. It is unethical and cruel to scare growing children based on past experience. It is undoubtedly a premeditated spoiler. Don’t think that just by giving him life, you will deprive him of the right to look forward to the future. Sometimes happiness is not about copying and mastering. Operation, but surprise and unexpectedness. Moreover, everyone\’s happiness needs are different. You think wearing gold trousers and a mink coat is happiness, but that may not be the case for him. Maybe he feels that in Chaimen Small Courtyard, time is flowing, squinting his eyes and waiting for the wind is the happiness he wants. Moreover, everyone\’s qualities are different. Some people may be more motivated when they are under more pressure, while some people, like me, are like an open thread when they are under pressure and cannot afford to fall down. Zhao Jie, a talented woman from Peking University, also wrote: \”I admire a kind of parents who provide strong intimacy to their children when they are young, and learn to withdraw appropriately when the children grow up. Care and separation are all tasks that parents must complete for their children. .The parent-child relationship is not a permanent possession, but a profound fate in life. Since parents and children are a good fate in the world, sometimes it is a kind encounter without spoiling the future of each child. There is no eternity in life. Since everyone is destined to have a solo journey, from the time he grows up, he will gradually learn to withdraw appropriately and give blessings with a smile. This also explains from another aspect that everyone’s future will be wonderful, including us parents. Children , don’t listen to Grandma Wolf’s nonsense, the future will not be so hard. You are the absolute protagonist in your life, and the experience of that way is wonderful. I believe that no one can copy your life!