Children \”lead the sheep\”, smart parents do this

On Saturday, Xiaomei took her 2-year-old daughter Qianqian to a classmate\’s house. The classmate also had a boy named Liangliang who was about the same age as Qianqian. Throughout the day, the two children of similar age played together very much. happy. When Xiaomei returned home in the evening, when she was packing Qianqian\’s schoolbag, she found that there was a children\’s picture album in it. In Xiaomei\’s memory, she and her husband had never bought this book for their daughter. She asked Qianqian: where did the picture album come from? Where did it come from? Qianqian said in a relaxed tone while playing with the doll, \”The book is bright\”! \”Oh, did Liangliang give it to you?\” \”No, I really wanted to read this book at that time, but Brother Liangliang wouldn\’t let me read it. Later, I put it in my schoolbag and took it home to read!\” Qianqian The answer is very honest. The father on the side was furious at the time: \”Qianqian, you took his things home without Liangliang\’s permission. Do you know what this is? This is -\” Dad had not yet said the word \”steal\”. When he said it, Xiaomei stopped him in time with a wink. In fact, Xiaomei was also very angry at that time, but she tried to control her anger and said gently to Qianqian: \”Since Brother Liangliang doesn\’t want to read it to you, it means that this book must be his most cherished thing. Now, you take it I brought it home. Brother Liangliang must be very anxious and sad when he can\’t find the book. So, early tomorrow morning, let\’s go and return the book to him, okay? Then, mom will take you to the bookstore to buy the book you like. !” Next, Xiaomei told her daughter why she shouldn’t just take things that belong to others. When faced with her daughter taking back other people\’s things, Xiaomei\’s gentle and calm way of handling it is more appropriate. What is especially worthy of praise is that Xiaomei did not easily label her daughter as \”stealing\” because of her inappropriate behavior. imprint. In fact, children in this age group are still young and have limitations in their psychological development. Most of them cannot tell the difference between \”stealing\” and \”taking\”, and mistakenly believe that they can \”get\” what they like and want. \”Take it away\” is the same behavior as grabbing other people\’s toys, and is an expression of \”self-centeredness\” in young children. The famous child psychologist Piaget once conducted the \”Three Mountains\” experiment: he first built a model of a beautiful mountain and asked children to observe it from four directions, and then gave them four side-view photos. Let a rag doll move around the mountain. When the doll stops on a certain side of the mountain, let the children show a picture of the mountain scenery that the rag doll faces. As a result, the landscape photo taken out by the child was indeed a photo of the mountain he was facing. From this, Piaget came to the conclusion: \”self-centered\” children tend to only pay attention to subjective, that is, their own opinions, and will not look at problems from other people\’s standpoints and accept other opinions. Therefore, children in the \”self-centered\” age group have limited thinking, leading to biased subjective understanding, weak awareness of property rights, and often cannot distinguish between \”their own things\” and \”other people\’s things.\” For children at this stage, parents should help their children establish a \”concept of property rights\” as early as possible. For example, they can prepare special items for them at home: tableware, towels, water cups, etc., and tell them not to mix these items with others. He builds \”mine\”, \”your\”, \”his\” concepts. Secondly, you can open up a separate room or corner for the child to put his private belongings, such as toys, books, stationery, etc., and let him manage it by himself. At the same time, he can teach the child to understand that everyone has his own private area, and no one can have it without permission. Agree not to use other people\’s things casually. Usually, parents can also demonstrate borrowing something from him, for example: \”Can you lend me your stationery?\” If the child agrees, remember to say \”thank you\” and return it on time. At the same time, it also teaches him that when he wants something from others, he can borrow it or buy it himself, but he cannot possess it at will. The purpose of this is to let children understand right and wrong and develop good behavioral habits. Unfortunately, in life, a considerable number of parents do not understand the psychology of young children. When faced with their children\’s behavior of \”taking things from others,\” they overreact and often adopt inappropriate means to discipline their children. A few days ago, I saw this scene in the supermarket: At the checkout, the person in front of me was a young mother, leading a little boy of about two years old. The mother went to the bank one by one from the shopping cart. The products for purchase were placed on the counter. The little boy may have been bored at the time, and his eyes were attracted by the colorful chewing gums next to the counter. He picked up a box and looked at it for a moment, but did not put it back. Keep it in your hand. This scene happened to be watched by the loss prevention officer who was standing by at the time. He noticed that the little boy did not put the chewing gum on the cash counter until the mother paid. So the parents were reminded tactfully. After settling the bill, the mother was about to leave with her child. Then she lowered her head and discovered that her son was still holding a box of chewing gum in his hand. She quickly paid for it again. When he walked out of the supermarket gate, his mother suddenly grabbed her son and beat him: \”I was so embarrassed by you just now. You have learned to steal things at such a young age. When you grow up, you can still do it!\” \”I didn\’t steal, I didn\’t steal!\” The child seemed to He was particularly aggrieved. He cried and hid while defending himself. Obviously, what this mother did was inappropriate. She directly elevated the child\’s behavior to a question of moral character and labeled him a \”stealer.\” The result of this may have a great impact on the child\’s young mind. The damage will even affect his personality in adulthood. In fact, most of the real \”stealing\” behavior of children occurs after they enter elementary school. Children of this age already have a certain awareness of property rights, but they still make \”stealing other people\’s things\”. Generally speaking, they are as follows: Reasons: 1. The drive of children\’s vanity. Vanity is a unique psychological state of human beings, and children with strong vanity often see what others have and want to have it themselves. 2. In order to attract parents\’ attention to him, some parents rarely pay attention to their children because they are busy with work. Children do not know how to express their psychological needs of being cared for in the correct way, so they deliberately do some extreme things to attract attention. Get your parents\’ attention. 3. Children\’s pursuit of adventure and excitement. Children have an adventure mentality that is different from adults. He thinks to himself: I secretly took other people\’s things without others knowing. I feel like a thief in a movie or TV show. How exciting it is.ah! 4. The influence of family environment on children. Parents are their children\’s first teachers. However, some parents themselves have misbehaved, which has led to their children being infected with bad habits. Parents must pay attention to their children\’s \”taking advantage of others\” behavior, find out the reasons in time, guide and educate them in the correct way, so that their children can realize their mistakes and correct them. 1. When criticizing and educating children, do not casually label them as \”thieves\”. Children have strong self-esteem. When parents elevate their behavior to the level of human nature and moral quality and label them as \”thieves\” at the same time, On the contrary, it will encourage children to give up on themselves. I remember when I was in elementary school, one day a classmate lost something. The teacher left all the students in the classroom to investigate one by one, and finally found that a famous male classmate had taken it. From then on, his classmates called him a \”thief\”. This boy was always ignored and ridiculed. Later, instead of correcting his mistakes, he broke the jar and broke it. Mr. Lu Xun once said: \”If you don\’t treat him as a human being when he is a child, he will not be able to be a human being when he grows up.\” Therefore, education without respect is worse than no education at all. 2. When educating children, do not use excessive methods of beating or scolding. If you find that your children have stolen other people\’s things, parents must patiently guide and reason with you. Never beat or scold your children impulsively because of your bad temper. The media once reported such an incident: A father never buys toys for his children. It is said that he does not want his children to develop the habit of comparison since childhood. So, the 5-year-old son stole toys from the supermarket. The supermarket owner came to the door. In anger, the father accidentally beat the child to death. Afterwards, although the father regretted deeply, the child\’s life could no longer be saved. 3. Parents should trust their children. Under normal circumstances, when children take things from others and are discovered and criticized by their parents, they will often explain. For example, he said: \”Because so-and-so bullied me and I couldn\’t get angry, I took away his favorite thing so that he could not find it.\” At this time, parents must believe that the child does not intentionally take other people\’s things, but out of a sense of revenge. But you must also make it clear to your children: Even if this behavior is to vent dissatisfaction, it is wrong to do so. When children truly feel the trust from their parents in their hearts, it is easier for them to make up their minds to correct their mistakes. 4. Satisfy children’s needs appropriately and promptly. Some parents control their children too strictly and often fail to meet their children’s normal needs. Children have a certain degree of vanity. When everyone has a certain item, but he does not, he will It is possible to obtain it by other means. A few years ago, many children were obsessed with playing yo-yo. In one class, almost all the boys had one. Only Tutu’s mother refused to buy it for him, and his classmates often laughed at him for it. One day, when Tutu went to a toy store, he stole one and put it in his pocket while no one was paying attention. However, the boss discovered it and forced Tutu to make a phone call and asked his mother to pay before letting him leave. Therefore, parents should respect their children\’s psychology and meet their children\’s needs in a timely and appropriate manner if financial conditions permit. 5. Parents should set an example. Xiaowei’s mother oftenShe took some office supplies from her work home. One day, she found some novel stationery in Xiaowei’s schoolbag. At first, Xiaowei lied and said he bought them himself, but later admitted that he had stolen them from his classmates. The mother angrily educated Xiaowei, but Xiaowei said plausibly: \”Don\’t you often steal office supplies from work and take them home?\” It can be seen that children\’s imitation ability is very strong, and their imitation objects are first of all their parents, so , parents should always remember to regulate their own behavior, be strict with themselves, and never take advantage of anything. If you find that your child has taken something from someone else, you should explain it to him/her, return it promptly and apologize to the other person. In this way, the child will learn a lot from the correct words and deeds of his parents and correct his mistakes. Italian educator Montessori said: Everything we do for children will bear fruit, not only affecting his life, but also determining his life! Therefore, when a child is found to have \”copycat\” behavior, it is very important for parents to use correct discipline methods. There is no child in the world who does not make mistakes. As long as parents discover it in time and guide it correctly, I believe the child will correct the bad behavior.