Children who are constantly entangled with their parents and find it difficult to become independent, have a low sense of security and are anxious.

Are you unknowingly making your children lose their sense of security? When you tell your children to be careful over and over again, have you ever thought that this might be conveying your anxiety? Every \”don\’t talk to strangers\” and \”be careful\” will make teenagers more afraid of the world and lose the courage to explore and be independent. As a mother, have you ever realized that your overprotectiveness can sometimes be an invisible restraint? How can you truly help teenagers build a sense of inner security instead of leaving them forever dependent on your arms? 01 The brave little rabbit and the wise eagle In a large dense forest, there lived a little rabbit. The little rabbit followed her mother closely every day and never dared to take a step away from her. The mother rabbit always said to the little rabbit: \”The outside world is very dangerous, and there are many traps for hunters. You must be careful not to leave my sight.\” Listening to these words, the little rabbit became more and more afraid of the outside world. The world is full of fear. The little rabbit lives under the protection of his mother every day and never dares to try new things. Other little animals are running freely in the forest, exploring the wonders of nature, but the little rabbit always hides behind her mother, looking at them with envy. One day, the little rabbit met a majestic eagle. The eagle flies high in the sky, freely, as if nothing can scare it. The eagle saw that the little rabbit was always hiding behind his mother in fear, so he flew to it and asked: \”Little rabbit, why are you always so scared?\” The little rabbit timidly replied: \”Mom said that the outside world is very dangerous. There are many traps for hunters. I dare not leave my mother because I am afraid something will happen.\” After hearing this, the eagle smiled and said, \”The world is indeed full of dangers, but it is also full of opportunities and beauty. You can\’t always hide behind your mother. , otherwise you will never experience the feeling of freedom.\” The little rabbit asked doubtfully: \”But how can I become as brave as you?\” The eagle spread its wings gently and said, \”Bravery is not born, but through experience. Try and challenge yourself step by step. You need to learn to be independent. Only in this way can you truly find your own sense of security.\” After hearing this, the little rabbit decided to try what the eagle said. It began to leave its mother step by step and try to explore the forest alone. At first, it felt very scared, but every time it overcame a small difficulty, its courage increased by one point. Gradually, the little rabbit became more and more brave and began to go to find food alone and play with other small animals. Although it sometimes encounters danger, it learns how to deal with it and discovers many beautiful scenery it has never seen before. Eventually, the little rabbit loses his fear and becomes confident and independent. The eagle looked at the changes in the little rabbit and smiled happily: \”Look, you have learned to fly. Although you have no wings, your heart is already free.\” From then on, the little rabbit was no longer the one who always hides. The coward behind her mother is a brave and confident explorer who has found her own security and happiness. In this forest, the little rabbit\’s story became an example for other small animals, and they also began to learn to bravely face their fears and meet various challenges in life. 02 Different choices, different endings Case 1:Mother Li’s Anxious Parenting Mother Li is always worried about the safety of her children, and she is always worried about what kind of trouble her son Xiao Ming will encounter. No matter where Xiao Ming goes, she will follow him closely, for fear that he will fall or encounter any danger. Every day after school, Li’s mother would check Xiao Ming’s schoolbag to make sure he had all the school supplies. She didn\’t even allow Xiao Ming to participate in any extracurricular activities, fearing that he would get hurt. As time goes by, Xiao Ming becomes more and more dependent on Mama Li. Whenever he encounters a problem, his first reaction is to turn to his mother for help instead of trying to solve the problem himself. He was afraid of being independent and always thought something would happen if he left his mother. Case 2: Mother Zhang’s Strict Discipline Mother Zhang has very strict requirements for her children, and every behavior of her daughter Xiaohua must meet her high standards. Every day after returning home from school, Xiaohua must start doing her homework immediately without any neglect. Zhang’s mother will carefully check Xiaohua’s homework and severely criticize her if she finds any mistakes. In order for Xiaohua to achieve good results, Zhang\’s mother did not hesitate to sacrifice Xiaohua\’s rest time and forced her to participate in various cram schools. Xiaohua gradually became less and less confident in this high-pressure environment. She became afraid of making any decisions, fearing that she would be scolded if she made a mistake. She even began to doubt her abilities and always felt that she was not good enough to meet her mother\’s expectations. Case 3: Mother Wang’s encouragement and education Although Mother Wang also felt anxious, she chose another way of raising children. She believes that her son Xiaogang has the ability to solve problems on his own, so she tries to give him as much independent space as possible. Whenever Xiaogang encounters difficulties, Mrs. Wang will be there to give appropriate guidance, but never interferes too much. She encourages Xiaogang to try to solve problems on his own and praises him when he succeeds. Mother Wang also encouraged Xiaogang to participate in various activities to cultivate his interests and expertise. Gradually, Xiaogang became more and more confident. He learned to face challenges and was able to solve problems independently. Although he sometimes encounters setbacks, he is no longer afraid because he knows he has the ability to overcome difficulties. The different parenting styles of these three anxious mothers ultimately brought about completely different results. Under the guidance of their mother, each child takes a different life trajectory. These true stories tell us that a mother’s education style has a profound impact on her child’s growth. 03 Cultivate adolescents’ sense of security. As a psychologist, I often encounter various confusions faced by anxious mothers during the parenting process. As we see in the fable, the little rabbit becomes timid and dependent on its mother\’s overprotectiveness. With the appearance of the eagle, it gradually learned to be independent and finally found its own sense of security. Children need to learn to balance dependence and independence. But in this learning process, as a parent, you will inevitably have parenting anxiety. So from a psychological perspective, how can we better deal with parenting anxiety? According to psychological theory, anxiety and insecurity often stem from relationships with protectors in childhood. The role of the protector is not only to provide safety, but also to help the child become independent. This relationship is especially important during adolescence, as this is a critical stage when children move from dependence to independence. Research shows that appropriateA high degree of dependence is a normal phenomenon in the growth process of teenagers, but excessive dependence may lead to a lack of independence in children. Anxious mothers need to understand that real love is to help their children learn to be independent, rather than blindly protecting them. Attachment theory states that the relationship between a child and their primary caregiver affects their emotional security and independence. Securely attached children are more likely to explore and become independent when they feel cared for and loved. Positive psychology emphasizes that through encouragement and trust, adolescents\’ anxiety can be effectively reduced and their independent development promoted. Specific implementation methods: 1. Set moderate challenges: Set some tasks for children that they can complete independently. Start with small things and gradually increase the difficulty. This can boost their self-confidence. 2. Encourage self-decision-making: Encourage children to make their own decisions and respect their choices, even if they may make mistakes sometimes. In this way, they can learn to take responsibility. 3. Build a trusting relationship: Let children know that no matter what happens, their parents will support them. Trust is the cornerstone of security. 4. Positive feedback: When children make positive efforts or succeed, give them timely affirmation and praise to help them see their own value and abilities. 5. Provide emotional support: When children encounter difficulties or setbacks, provide emotional support instead of directly solving problems for them. Let them know that emotional support is more important than practical help. By balancing dependence and independence, anxious moms can help their teens develop an inner sense of security and develop their independence. Just like the little rabbit in the story, children need to gradually learn to be independent in order to find true security and happiness in their future lives. Let\’s work together to help children move towards an independent and confident future. “The best education is not to tell children what to do, but to teach them how to think.” ——Aristotle Dear readers, if you have similar parenting confusion, please share your story in the comment area. Click \”Like\” and let\’s discuss how to help teenagers build a sense of security!