Children who are mentally strong and independent are closer to success and happiness

A few days ago, the community neighborhood committee organized a \”Hanfu Chinese Etiquette\” course. The students were all children aged 3-6 in the community, and Xiao Nuo was one of them. A clip from the cartoon \”Crayon Shin-chan\” was played in class: On Mother\’s Day, Xiaoxin drew a \”knock-on-the-back coupon\” for her mother, and then gave her mother a slap on the back. After reading it, the teacher gave each primary school child wearing Hanfu two pieces of white paper with four big characters written on each: Knock back the coupons. The characters were hollow, and the teacher gave out crayons and asked the children to color the four large character pictures, draw a picture of their father on one piece of paper and give it to their father, and draw a picture of their mother on another piece of paper and give it to their mother. The primary school children are young and are very slow at coloring. The teacher suggested that parents can help. As soon as I picked up the brush, I was opposed by Xiao Nuo, who insisted on finishing it independently. Xiao Nuo\’s paintings are not beautiful, sometimes one stroke has one color, sometimes several strokes have one color; some words are gray, black, and brown next to each other, and some words are red and green. But she was very attentive, applying each stroke carefully. The teacher went back and forth several times and found that Xiao Nuo was very slow. He reminded me several times to ask me to assist the child. I withstood the pressure, respected Xiao Nuo\’s opinion, and never took action. Finally the teacher said: \”Everyone has finished drawing. Children, come to the front to show your works, and the teacher will take photos for you.\” So all the children (except Xiao Nuo) took their works and walked to the open space in front of the classroom and lined up. Good team, face the direction of the seat, display the work on the chest, and take photos of the parents and teachers. Xiaonuo and I were sitting in the first row of the classroom, with the children showing their works right in front of us. The sound of everyone applauding and the teachers and parents taking photos filled our eardrums. I was worried that Xiaonuo would be \”pressured\” to ask me for help, but no. She only sped up her speed slightly, but she didn\’t panic. She still filled the two hollow characters with color in an orderly manner. When she picked up the brush and prepared to draw a portrait, the other children had already finished taking pictures and returned to their seats, and everyone went to recess. Xiaonuo drew a circle with a crayon to represent the head, and two smaller circles inside to represent the eyes. The upward curve below is the mouth. There are a few short \”hairs\” on the head of one of them, that is Dad. Next, a scene that was beyond my expectation happened: Xiaonuo took two works and walked to the front of the classroom where the children had just taken pictures. He put the paper on his chest in the same way as they did, showed his works, and asked me Take her picture. After taking the photo, she took the work, walked to the teachers and staff who were chatting aside, and held it up to show them. The teachers and staff were discussing something enthusiastically during the break, and no one noticed the little figure standing on tiptoes holding up two pieces of paper. I quickly walked over and told them that Xiaonuo\’s homework was done. How valuable it is to not be influenced by the people around you and not forget the original intention of \”complete the task independently\”! Boy, I\’m proud of you! Next came the \”back-tapping\” session. The teacher asked the children to go to the open space in the front of the classroom, pair up in pairs, and practice tapping on the back under the teacher\’s command. Teamed with Xiao Nuo is a sister. In the first round, it was the young sister who slapped Xiao Nuo on the back. The teacher shouted the command: knock on the left, knock on the rightKnocking, pinching on the left, pinching on the right… Maybe out of embarrassment, most of the children just made an empty movement. Even if the teacher reminded them to really knock, the little sister\’s hand did not touch the child. No\’s back. In the second round, the children all turned backwards and exchanged identities. Xiao Nuo was about to give her sister a slap on the back. I thought she would also make false moves, but I didn’t expect that she would hit, pinch, and pat the little sister’s back in a real and orderly manner, following the teacher’s instructions and executing them meticulously. Insist on doing the right thing, do what you want to do, and do not be kidnapped by the will of others or coerced by group behavior. Nuo Xi\’s father proudly commented afterward: \”He has the air of a general!\” Starting from about the age of three, Xiao Nuo not only wears his own shoes and socks every day, but also chooses his own shoes and socks. For a while, she was particularly keen on wearing different shoes and socks on her two feet, such as rainbow striped socks on her left foot, bunny pattern socks on her right foot, black leather shoes on her left foot, and pink sneakers on her right foot. This really challenges my optic nerve, and I can\’t help but want to help her \”correct\” it. I told her that generally speaking, both feet should wear the same shoes and socks. She asked me why, and I said it was more comfortable and more beautiful. Xiaonuo immediately retorted to me, saying that she was very comfortable and beautiful as she was now. I have nothing to say. So Xiaonuo went out with me like this, wandering around the community, going to the supermarket to do shopping, and everyone she knew or didn’t know stopped to admire her shoes and socks. Fortunately, everyone was kind and no one laughed at her. They even praised her for being creative and beautiful. After wearing them like this a few times, Xiao Nuo probably felt that it was not interesting, so he ended the game and started to wear matching shoes and socks. There are some things that don’t harm yourself, hurt others, or harm the environment. Why not respect your children’s wishes? I once read a book. When the hero\’s father was a student, he deliberately fell off the bed in the dormitory and broke his leg in order to avoid participating in an event. When the male protagonist grew up and learned about his father\’s behavior back then, he was puzzled and disdainful. His father told him his helplessness, but he just didn\’t want to be \”coerced\”. There are many examples of \”coercion\” in life. For example, when waiting for a green light at an intersection with little traffic, if a large number of pedestrians rush through the red light, the person who insists on waiting for the green light will feel pressured and may even receive side glances from passers-by. It is very possible that he was \”coerced\” into running a red light. Another example is that some children know that skipping class is wrong, but they are still coerced away by other students; they know that smoking is wrong, but they cannot say \”no\” to the classmate who hands them cigarettes; there are many children who get into fights because they \”can\’t let go of feelings.\” Can\’t say no. \”No matter what others do, I only do what I should do\” requires a strong enough heart. Young children are generally more focused and able to \”go their own way\”. As children grow older, they begin to care about the opinions and evaluations of others. It becomes increasingly difficult to stick to their own principles and not be \”coerced\”. Let children insist on doing the right thing, do what they want to do, and not be kidnapped by the will of the group. Only by having your own views on things and thinking about problems can you have your own solutions when facing difficulties.. Looking at those who have achieved success in various fields, they are all independent and determined people who never forget their original aspirations. It is difficult to imagine how much achievement a person can achieve if he follows others\’ opinions and easily succumbs to the will of others. For example, someone is determined to run a clothing company and create a mid-range clothing brand. In the process of struggling, he saw that the sales volume of low-priced clothing was very large and the goods were constantly rotating. He was extremely envious, so he decided to produce several low-priced clothing. Later, I went to inspect high-end clothing and felt that the quality was exquisite, the styles were beautiful, and the profits were considerable. I decided to go high-end and develop several high-end clothing. The final result is that his clothing brand positioning is vague and has no personality. Such a company will definitely not go far. If we want our children to grow up to be strong-willed, principled, independent, and independent-minded people, we must pay attention to the following aspects in our daily lives: 1. Parents must withstand the pressure and not be \”kidnapped\” by the onlookers in their childhood. When Nuo was in the \”Hanfu Chinese Culture Etiquette\” class, my mother carried the pressure for her, \”ignored\” the teacher\’s reminder to ask parents to help, and respected the child\’s wish to complete it on his own. After everyone finished their homework, I still resisted the pressure and suppressed the idea of ​​urging the children, letting the children control their own speed. 2. Say less \”Others will laugh at you.\” When Xiaonuo goes out wearing mismatched shoes and socks, if I say: \”If you dress like this, others will laugh at you.\” This is to remind the child to pay attention to other people\’s opinions and evaluations. I didn\’t want it, so I refrained from saying it. The phrase \”Others will laugh at you\” actually guides children not to pay attention to the right or wrong and value of the thing itself, but to pay attention to the opinions and evaluations of others. There are many similar words, such as \”the teacher will criticize you\”, \”the police will arrest you\”, \”classmates…\”. Saying these words occasionally can remind children to consider the feelings of others and avoid being overly self-centered. But if these are used as mantras, the child will be \”shy\”, \”stage frightened\”, and will compromise the will of others. Sometimes we know it is wrong but still do it \”follow the crowd\”. 3. Encourage children to think more and have their own opinions on everything. When children ask us \”why\”, even if you know the most correct answer, don\’t rush to tell the child. You can ask the child what he thinks. We can also pretend to be stupid and ask our children \”why\” from time to time, which not only guides them to think more, but also sets an example for them to be diligent in learning, asking questions, and even not being ashamed to ask questions. Over time, the child\’s \”opinion\” comes. 4. Allow children to experience more and trust their abilities. Allow children to experience more insignificant things, respect their feelings, and give them full trust. If a child doesn’t want to eat, we don’t need to force him to eat a few more mouthfuls. We believe that the child knows whether he is full. One day after the summer vacation, Xiao Nuo insisted on wearing those long-lost furry boots to visit Zhujiajiao. I agreed. (She brought a pair of sandals with her, and when Xiao Nuo felt too hot, she pretended to be surprised to find them in her bag.) After that, she understood that she couldn’t wear fur boots in summer. Respect children, noCan only stay in words. The more we trust our children, the more confident they will be and the stronger their hearts will be. A person with an independent opinion will not listen to partial beliefs, but can listen to different voices and adopt different opinions. He will definitely be closer to success! A person with a strong heart who does not evaluate himself by the standards of others will be closer to happiness!