Children who are often beaten and scolded may have surprising changes in their IQ

Not long ago, a piece of news on the Internet aroused heated discussion: A total of 8 fires broke out in less than 24 hours within the scope of Huixiang 5 and 6 communities in Tiexi District, Shenyang City. The suspect turned out to be a 16-year-old boy Jiang. He was often scolded and scolded by his father, and his heart was filled with resentment over time. His father once said that his son \”will have to go to jail sooner or later.\” This sentence made his son very concerned. In order to retaliate against his father, he planned to commit crimes intentionally, hoping to \”cause some trouble\” for his father. After knowing the truth, people couldn\’t help but take a breath. Fortunately, none of the eight fires caused major property losses. Otherwise, the family would have paid a heavy price for \”beating and scolding education.\” It is rare for a \”filial son\” to feel revenge after being beaten and scolded by his parents. There are many similar incidents: Previously, a 12-year-old boy wanted his mother to compensate him for breaking items in a teahouse. The mother started scolding her as soon as she came up. The boy was dissatisfied and angrily strangled his mother\’s neck with both hands. Fortunately, the person next to him pulled the boy away in time. A few years ago, a 16-year-old girl in Longgang, Shenzhen, was often beaten and scolded by her parents. She searched for euthanasia on her mobile phone, bought a knife, ran away from home three times, and finally died of poisoning. Behind these extreme psychological distortions is a parent who beats and scolds his children. A school once conducted a survey and found that 80% of students were beaten. A certain city also conducted a survey on 408 juvenile offenders and found that the crime rate of juveniles who grew up in beatings and scolding was very high, reaching 84%. I originally thought that beating and scolding children would make them remember and correct their mistakes, but how many parents thought that it was their own sticks that led their children to commit crimes. Let alone a filial son born from a stick, I am afraid it would be difficult to raise a person who can abide by social order. Image source: \”Spring in the Cowherd Class\” Beating and scolding may lower children\’s IQ. Murray Strauss, an expert on discipline and domestic violence in the United States, conducted a follow-up survey on 806 children aged 2-4 in the United States. Intelligence test. A second test was conducted four years later, and it was found that children who had never experienced corporal punishment had an average IQ that was 5 points higher than that of children who were often spanked. Strauss said, \”The more spanking, the slower the child\’s mental development will be. Even a little spanking will have an impact.\” Strauss\’s survey of more than 17,000 college students in 32 countries also showed: spanking The higher the ratio of children to parents, the lower the average IQ of that country\’s citizens. This does not mean that children who are spanked will gradually lose their cognitive abilities, but they may fall behind their peers. As the Strauss report concluded: Children who often grow up under violence and threats will develop a \”fight or flight\” response mechanism. This kind of combative or evasive psychology will impact the children\’s creativity and imagination, and creativity , imagination will affect a person\’s IQ. Scientists once scanned the brain patterns of two three-year-old children. The mother of one of the children is gentle and kind, and is good at communicating effectively with her children. The other child\’s mother is very cold, often neglecting the child\’s needs and even abusing the child. The brain patterns of the two children are also very different. As shown below, the picture on the left is that of the first child (who was treated gently), and the picture on the right is that of the second child.A child (often beaten and scolded). Image source: Professor Bruce Perry Neuroscientist explains that the dark area in the picture on the right means reduced brain capacity. The missing area makes the child lack wisdom, compassion and other abilities as he grows up. Due to being beaten and scolded for a long time, the child on the right may be more aggressive as an adult, have low self-confidence, and have less ability to strive for a career. The child on the left is obviously the opposite. He is tolerant and kind, and may be more likely to succeed when he grows up. Rahile Briggs, a child psychiatrist at Montefiore Children\’s Hospital in New York City, once said: \”If you spank a child, you are telling them that this is a way to deal with a problem, but if you use other discipline methods , can teach children more advanced cognitive skills, self-control, cause and effect, and logical thinking skills.\” The childhood of the injured neighbor Xiaomei was \”Why are you so stupid, you can\’t even do arithmetic, why don\’t you die? \”You are worse than a pig or a dog…\” The insults were heard, and punches and kicks were commonplace. Xiaomei is introverted and has low self-esteem, and even has social barriers. When I grew up, I ran away from my parents desperately. I didn\’t dare to get married or have children. I was afraid that I would become a perpetrator if I grew up in violence. I once read this passage: When I was a child, I hated being like my mother, nagging, endlessly yelling, and having an uncontrollable temper. But when I grew up, during my marriage, I found that I had become a person like my mother. Psychological research has found that some girls who grew up with domestic violence from their parents will actually find a husband with domestic violence tendencies when choosing a mate. These girls are very likely to suffer from \”Stockholm syndrome\” and become dependent on their abusers. Therefore, after they leave their original family, they will subconsciously look for another abuser. If this behavior is not effectively curbed, this pattern may be passed down from generation to generation. Maybe beating and scolding education will work to a certain extent, but it will only be temporary. It brings greater negative impacts, not only affecting the child\’s physical health and intellectual development, but also distorting the mind. Children who are often beaten and scolded may develop two extreme personalities: one is particularly cowardly and has low self-esteem, prone to pessimism and world-weariness; the other is particularly rebellious and prone to violence. In addition, it may also cause serious parent-child estrangement. The parent-child relationship becomes increasingly indifferent due to beatings and scoldings, and some children may develop a revengeful mentality. Smart parents will not beat or scold their children. Every parent will be driven crazy by their naughty children. Beating and scolding their children is a common skill of angry parents because they can\’t think of a better way to control these naughty boys and girls. But smart parents know how to restrain their emotions and use better methods to educate their children. Mere punishment, especially corporal punishment, is a very negative and poor form of education. Picture source: \”Spring in the Cowherd Class\” There are various ways of punishment. The purpose is not only to let the children know that they are wrong, but more importantly, to let the children know where they are wrong. Formulating and implementing \”punishment rules\” with children not only allows children to actively recognize and correct mistakes, but also develops good attribution skills and self-control. I have it at homeA \”thinking area\” with a naughty chair on it. Whenever my daughter makes a mistake, I will carry her here and let her calm down for a few minutes as agreed. When the time came, I immediately stopped what I was doing to hug her and tell her why I was punishing her. This method can calm down each other, avoid greater conflicts, and also make the children realize their mistakes. Picking beans is also a punishment game we often play. Mix together various beans such as soybeans, mung beans, and red beans at home, and then ask your daughter to separate the beans. She is not allowed to watch her favorite animation until she can finish picking. Not only does it serve as a punishment, but it also trains the child\’s vision and finger flexibility, while also cultivating patience. \”Punishment to eat annoying vegetables\” is also a good method. While it serves as a punishment, it can also supplement the nutrients that children usually lack. Image source: \”Hana\’s Miso Soup\” A friend\’s \”Law of Consequences\” is also worth learning from. Her children like lazy beds, and it takes a lot of effort to drag them out of bed every day. Later, she simply stayed in bed with her child. Children who get up late will be criticized by the teacher if they are late for school, and they have to return to their seats under the watchful eyes of all the children. They will be laughed at by the well-behaved children. After a few days, the thin-skinned child was finally able to get up obediently. Psychologist Herbart said: Children need love, especially when the child does not deserve love. When a child makes a mistake, the education method just reflects the depth of parental love and the wisdom of love. Don\’t let your mouth become a sharp knife that stabs your child, don\’t let your fist fall on your child, and don\’t release the devil hidden in your child\’s heart with your own hands. Really good education starts from the heart and is a communication between hearts, rather than relying on force or violent reprimands.