Children who don’t cry, make fuss or show off are actually the scariest ones

What do you do when your child cries? We often see two situations. One is that the baby gets angry when he cries. The moment when I was enveloped in that bad mood. Even adults who hear it next to them will feel embarrassed or even uneasy. For children, most of the feelings are fear. \”Don\’t cry!\” \”Stop crying. If you cry again, I won\’t let you go!\” There are endless words based on this. And a gentle and patient mother. Will soothe his baby calmly and calmly. Will say: \”Mom is here, the baby is not crying!\” Mom is here, these simple words can often give the child great comfort. In fact, the final result is that the child stops crying. But different methods of parents will create children with different personalities. There is a parenting perspective that has been very popular in the past few years. It is said that the child will not be hugged when he cries, but will be hugged only when the child is not crying. In fact, this method can easily cause psychological trauma to children. Why do children cry? Because they have inner uneasiness, need, or dissatisfaction. Babies cry to attract their mother\’s attention. Only when his mother responds promptly can he feel safe. Children judge things differently from us. But too many adults use their own thinking to replace children\’s thinking. For example, if you tell a child who is a few months old, \”Mom, just go out for 5 minutes, the baby won\’t cry!\” This sentence is equivalent to not saying it, because the child has no idea how long 5 minutes is. In my heart, I am even more afraid that my mother will never appear again after she disappears. So they will cry relentlessly. I remember when Xiao Xiaoyu was more than 6 months old. I also look at my mother all the time. So when we eat, we have to keep him by my side. Sometimes I hold him with one hand and eat with the other. Because when his mother took him, she was already very tired. Of course, once we also said that we should \”fix\” him. We can\’t get used to his temper that he always cries and cries. So that time he was sitting in a chair crying, and we both couldn\’t help but ignore him. He just kept crying. That was probably the longest time I cried. But we also learned a harsh lesson. The little guy developed a high fever at night and didn\’t like to eat for the next few days. We both regretted it. Because of his ignorance, he suffered unreasonable torture. For a baby who is a few months old, if there is no positive response from the mother or caregiver, even for just one minute, it will be unbearable pain and fear for the child. Because they feel the world is like chaos and they are floating. It is because of the mother\’s response and caress that they feel her presence. The feeling should be like a spaceship in space, which maintains normal operation through its connection with the mothership. Once you lose the response of the mothership, you will definitely be helpless and frightened. We often crave independence for our children, so we push them away without even realizing it. I don’t want my children to cling to me. As the little fish grows up, I often have such moments. I can reflect clearly in this late night. For example, when I squat down, he will excitedly lie on my back. While on the couch, he suddenly jumped up on my shoulder and rode a horse. Sometimes I hold my legs while walking. Maybe it\’s because I\’ve spent too much time away from him recently. Maybe I pushed him away too many times. Because I would tell him not to lie down like this, and I don’t like you holding him like this. But the more I do this, the more he wants to find the feeling of me holding him. But if you think about it carefully, the little guy is heading towards the age of 6 years old. If you don’t give me a good hug, maybe I won’t be able to hold you. When children are close to us, we should not pay too much attention to them. Just give him a good hug. Many mothers say why the more their children are beaten and scolded, the more they cry. Because the child has never had a good cry, and it always ends in the beating and scolding of the parents. They will look for opportunities to express their feelings. This feeling may be suppressed anger or hatred. You know, little children will love you and \”hate\” you. So you will hear your child tell you, \”I love you!\” and kiss you. But sometimes he would raise his eyes and say: \”Bad Mom\” ​​or \”Bad Dad\”. This is actually an expression of emotion. Children need a response from us. Because only responding can help children deal with these emotions. I remember this saying: \”Any unlovable behavior is calling for love.\” This is even more true when it comes to children: when children cry, they actually need your love the most. Children who neither cry nor fuss are really scary. When a child cries. You will definitely be anxious and angry. But be sure to take a deep breath and calm down. Because he is calling for your attention and expects you to pay attention to his emotions and thoughts. I took Xiao Xiaoyu and my nephew to see a movie a few days ago. As a result, the movie scene was missed. The little guy just shrugged and didn\’t allow us to pull him across the road. Anyway, there are all kinds of troubles. \”I\’ll show you a good movie when I go home, okay?\” \”No, I just want to watch it!\” \”There\’s a dinosaur movie coming out in a few days. I\’ll bring you here, okay?\” \”No, I want to watch it today!\” In elementary school My nephew can obviously control his emotions. He knew there was nothing he could do if he missed it, so he thought it would be a good choice to go home and watch. I also tried to persuade my brother and said that the movie was not very good. But he is just dissatisfied! When we got home, I said to him, \”I know you just want to watch a movie today. No matter whether it\’s good or bad, or whether it\’s early or late, you just want to watch it, right?\” \”Yes!\” Then he started Looked at me and spoke. \”Okay, we can show it when we get home. I\’ll show it to you using a projector! You make the decision yourself.\” \”I want to watch it for an hour!\” \”One hour is too short, let\’s watch it for two hours!\” He was surprised. look at me. \”A good movie usually lasts two hours. You can go home and look for it with your brother later.\” This agreement was reached. I know that actually when I told him his inner thoughts, he began to feel relieved. Otherwise, I will just keep crying and screwing with you. If I had lost my temper in a hurry. Finally he had to listen. But looking at that little figure, the crying shoulders were shrugging. I should be the one regretting it again. When we raise our children. I will be tortured by the baby\’s various behaviors and have to endure the baby\’s countless crying fits. But what parents can do is to see their children\’s need to be loved and paid attention to, and tell them clearly: I love you, you are lovely, and you deserve to be loved. This kind of love is unconditional. And this love begins when you are born. Suppose a young mother has just given birth to a babyThe child can be by her side and stay with each other. Mother and child can feel each other. This intimacy is very important. It will lay the foundation for the healthy development of the child\’s personality. And it makes a child feel warm inside. When you become an adult, you will be much warmer towards others. Count the people around us, including ourselves. The formation of each person\’s personality can almost be traced back to childhood. The warm feeling injected by parents back then will last a lifetime. Years later, what can really help you resist setbacks and endure pressure is your inner strength. The first warm love of parents is the core of this strong heart.