Children who feel very lonely may cut off the connection with their parents very early

Why do some children feel extremely lonely even though they live in happy families? Are they born that way, or have their parents unknowingly hurt them? Facing more and more children who feel lonely, are we, as parents, really innocent? Lonely children: Are they born this way, or are their parents negligent? 01 Lonely Exploration Once upon a time, there was a little deer named Xiaoling. Xiaoling lives in a dense forest. There are many animals in the forest and it is very lively every day. However, Xiaoling always felt that he was out of tune with other animals. Every morning, when the sun rises and the animals start to be busy, Xiaoling is often alone, standing silently on the edge of the forest, looking into the distance. Xiaoling\’s parents are a pair of strong deer. They are always busy with their own affairs and rarely have time to accompany Xiaoling. They believe that as long as the pups have enough food and a safe habitat, that\’s enough. However, Xiaoling longs for more than just material satisfaction. She hopes to get her parents\’ attention and understanding. One day, Xiao Ling finally plucked up the courage and said to her parents: \”I feel very lonely, why do you never listen to me?\” After hearing this, her parents were stunned for a moment, and then said with a smile: \”You are still young and don\’t understand this. We are busy protecting you and finding food for you. This is the most important thing.\” Xiaoling was even more disappointed after hearing this. She felt that her parents did not understand her inner feelings at all. So, Xiaoling decided to leave the home where she felt lonely and explore the depths of the forest, looking for a place that could truly understand her. She walked through dense woods, crossed high mountains, and met all kinds of animals. There are friendly rabbits, clever foxes, and even a kind bear. However, no matter where she went, the loneliness in her heart never dissipated. During the journey, Xiaoling met an eagle. The eagle said to Xiaoling: \”I can take you to a high place and let you see the whole forest. Maybe you will find the answer.\” Xiaoling gratefully accepted the eagle\’s help. The eagle took her to the top of the mountain. Looking down from a high place, she had a panoramic view of the entire forest. The scenery was breathtaking. However, Xiaoling still felt empty in her heart and could not find what she really wanted. Finally, Xiaoling came to a quiet small lake. The lake was crystal clear, reflecting her figure. She stopped by the lake, stared at her reflection, and felt more peaceful than ever. She began to think that maybe the answer she was looking for lay not in a corner of the forest, but deep in her heart. Xiaoling spent a few days by the lake, quietly reflecting on his life. She understood that true understanding and recognition do not depend on external recognition, but require inner acceptance. She decided to return to her parents and share her feelings with them. When Xiaoling returned home, her parents were surprised and relieved to see her safe return. Xiaoling said to them: \”I learned an important truth. True understanding requires us to communicate and listen to each other. Let us work together to become a closer family.\” Since then, Xiaoling and her parents have learned They communicated more and their relationship became closer. Although Xiaoling still feels lonely occasionally, she knows that she is not alone because she has aA family willing to listen and understand her. 02 Lonely Voices Xiao Ming has lived in an incomplete family since he was a child. His parents divorced when he was still very young, and they were each busy with their own lives. His mother is busy working all day and has little time to accompany Xiao Ming, while his father is far away from home and rarely comes back to see him. Xiao Ming can only solve various problems in life by himself, and there is no one to talk to about his confusion and troubles. He often felt forgotten and filled with loneliness. Even in school, he felt out of place with his classmates and unable to fit into their social circles. He watched the other children laughing and playing on the playground, and felt sad in his heart. He longed for his parents\’ attention and love, but every time he saw them, he only exchanged a few hasty greetings, and his inner loneliness became stronger. Xiaofang\’s parents have high expectations for her, hoping that she will excel academically and become their pride. However, her parents never really understood Xiaofang\’s interests and dreams. Xiaofang likes painting and dreams of becoming an artist one day, but her parents think this is not a serious career. Every time she tries to express her interest, her parents always respond with \”You are still young and not sensible.\” This made Xiaofang feel very frustrated and lonely. She began to keep her worries to herself and stopped sharing her thoughts with her parents. Whenever she looks at her paintings, she feels both a sense of accomplishment and a sense of sadness, because she knows that these paintings will never be recognized and understood by her parents. Xiaofang is also unwilling to have more contact with her classmates at school. She feels that no one can truly understand her. Xiaojun\’s parents have been busy with work all year round and neglected his inner world. Every day, his parents go out early and come back late, and Xiaojun is often the only one at home. He felt like a transparent person with minimal sense of existence. Whenever he encounters difficulties or is depressed, his parents\’ care and advice always seem so distant and insignificant. Xiaojun became taciturn and unwilling to communicate with others. In school, he also lives alone and does not participate in any group activities. Teachers and classmates all thought he was a strange child, but no one knew his inner loneliness and pain. Xiaojun often lies in bed in the dead of night, looking at the ceiling, filled with confusion and fear about the future. He doesn\’t know if his existence is meaningful because even his closest parents ignore his feelings and needs. These \”realistic little deer\” grow up in loneliness, their voices are not listened to, and their inner world is isolated from the outside world. Behind every child, there is a lonely story, and these stories may be happening around us. 03 The origin and solution of loneliness In the story we told about the little deer, because the little deer could not get the understanding and attention of its parents, it decided to explore the forest alone to find a sense of belonging. Children in real life, such as Xiao Ming, Xiao Fang and Xiao Jun, also feel lonely and alienated in their families. Psychology experts point out that this sense of loneliness often stems from children\’s lack of belonging and identity in the family. According to attachment theory, children need security and emotional support from their parents as they grow. When this need is not met, the child will feel abandoned and turn inward to find themselves.I agree. Their lack of emotional connection within their families makes it difficult for them to form healthy relationships within their social circles. 1. Lack of sense of belonging: Children need to feel that they are part of the family and need to be cared for and understood. Children can feel isolated when parents are busy with their own affairs or turn a blind eye to their children\’s emotional needs. 2. Lack of recognition: Children need recognition and encouragement from their parents, especially when they express their interests and dreams. If parents blindly deny or ignore, children will feel that they are not accepted, and their inner loneliness will become more intense. In order to help children get rid of loneliness, psychology experts have made the following specific suggestions: 1. Establish open communication channels: – Encourage children to express their feelings and do not deny their emotions easily. Take some time out of your day to talk to your children about their thoughts and feelings and really listen to them. – Use “active listening” techniques such as paraphrasing your child’s words to express understanding of their emotions and avoid direct judgment or interruptions. 2. Pay attention to children’s interests: – Understand and support children’s interests and hobbies, and give them enough freedom to explore themselves. For example, if your child likes to draw, you might want to provide them with drawing tools and space to encourage them to create. – Participating in children’s activities and showing concern for their interests not only strengthens the parent-child relationship, but also allows children to feel valued and supported by their parents. 3. Create shared time: – No matter how busy you are, try to find time to do activities with your children to enhance the parent-child relationship. Plan weekly family activities such as walking, cooking, or playing games together. – Pay attention to quality rather than quantity. Even if it is only 15 minutes a day, high-quality companionship can bring about huge emotional connections. Through these methods, parents can help their children build a stronger sense of belonging and identity, reduce their loneliness, and allow them to find their own place and value in the family. Children\’s souls need the care and attention of their parents. Only when they are emotionally satisfied can they grow up healthily and happily. \”True companionship is unwavering understanding and support.\” – Helen Keller