Children with high emotional intelligence have these 6 characteristics!

If IQ determines a person\’s direction, then EQ determines how far the person can go in this direction. Many parents also realize that academic performance is not everything for their children. Only those with higher emotional intelligence can better manage their emotions and cope with complex interpersonal relationships and high workloads in society. What exactly does it mean to have high emotional intelligence? In fact, many parents don’t have a clear understanding, and they just take it for granted that being “well-spoken,” “smooth-talking,” and “easy to eat” means they have high emotional intelligence. But in fact, emotional intelligence is not so one-sided. Its most commonly used full name is \”emotional quotient\”, which is more inclined to measure a person\’s emotional management ability. It can also be understood as: regulating one\’s mental state and getting along well with others. ability. It includes independence, empathy, responsibility, self-confidence, self-discipline and many other aspects. Really high emotional intelligence is more like cultivation and self-cultivation emanating from the inside out. Such people have good psychological self-healing ability. Although they may be happy or sad because of trivial matters in study and life, they can always adjust themselves in time, do not waste themselves in the pessimism of blame and blame others, and devote themselves to a new life as soon as possible. middle. With such people, you will feel very comfortable and relaxed. Even if you are not old friends who have been together for many years, you always feel that he is very kind, can respect you, understand you, and sometimes sincerely worries about small things for you. Being sharp-tongued, quick-witted, and always able to gain some advantage in chatting is called tactful behavior at best, and is not the same thing as true emotional intelligence. Therefore, parents should not go in the wrong direction when cultivating their children\’s emotional intelligence. Different from IQ cultivation, we do not have a special education system to cultivate a child\’s emotional intelligence. Therefore, how to learn to be aware of and manage your emotions is often learned from interacting with the people around you. Parents play a very key role in this process. It can be said that parents are their children\’s first and most important teachers in cultivating their children\’s emotional intelligence. To cultivate children with high emotional intelligence, pay attention to these six points: 01. Praise others more. There is a good saying, \”The degree to which you make people comfortable with your words determines the height you can reach.\” A \”sweet-tongued\” child who knows how to properly praise others will always make people happy and make them happy to be close to them, and of course, they will be more likely to succeed. Of course, whether children can learn to speak well still depends on their parents\’ teaching and guidance, because they are copying, pasting, and upgrading their parents\’ words and deeds. If you want to have a child who speaks well, the best way is to speak well to them first and show them how to speak well. At a restaurant, say thank you to the waiter. Say \”Sorry\” when disturbing others. Don’t show off, blame or complain about others behind their backs. When you meet someone or something you admire, don\’t hesitate to praise it. If you encounter a dispute, apologize first. When arguing, don\’t poke people\’s pain points… 02 Don\’t poke people\’s pain points without emotions. Everyone has their own taboos, and they all dislike others mentioning their taboos. In order to show off one\’s quick words, deliberately exposing someone\’s shortcomings and poking someone\’s sore spots will not only hurt the other person\’s self-esteem and arouse the other person\’s resentment, but sometimes may even lead to resentment. When I was young, my brother and I onceMy classmate Xiao Lin had a quarrel over a trivial matter. My brother was too clumsy to argue, so he blurted out angrily: \”You speak so viciously, no wonder your mother abandoned you and said you are a burden.\” As a result, Xiao Lin beat my brother on the spot. After my mother found out the reason, she severely criticized my brother and took him to Xiao Lin\’s house to apologize. I heard from others that when Xiao Lin\’s mother and his father divorced, Xiao Lin wanted to live with his mother, but in order to make it easier to remarry in the future, his mother gave up his custody rights and said that taking him around would be a burden. The words \”abandonment\” and \”burden\” have always been a pain in Xiao Lin\’s heart. Teach your children never to poke people\’s pain points or make fun of other people\’s flaws and misfortunes even when they are angry, because then they will not get pleasure and others will not get warmth. 03 Cultivate a sense of humor \”If a match catches fire in your pocket, you should be lucky that your pocket is not a magazine of explosives.\” Chekov once comforted his friend humorously. Humor makes people happy, and humor makes people laugh. People with a strong sense of humor can turn sadness into laughter, and turn failures into motivation. Humor can always give people a lot of inspiration. To be honest, our children are under a lot of pressure and study is very hard, but life can be happy, they have a humorous heart and a sense of humor. Those strings of English words don’t seem so abominable, and those troublesome mathematical formulas don’t seem so difficult. If children can become humorous, they will be less stressed and achieve better grades. Nowadays, many of our parents are veterans of WeChat Moments. There are many shared jokes on it. Laughing with your children when you have free time is the best way to cultivate your children’s sense of humor. Children can always remember all kinds of jokes. A joke. How powerful is a smile? According to analysis, if he can hear a joke and laugh before doing homework, it can relieve his homework and review pressure for a whole night in just a few seconds! 04 Complain less, complain less Complaining and complaining are strong negative emotions. Although on the surface it may appear that we are blaming others and venting our grievances externally, we are actually igniting the fire within ourselves. Let us be in a state of \”internal friction\” all the time, wearing away our patience, confidence and enterprising spirit little by little. Many parents will encounter such a situation. Their children are very whiny: they complain that the teacher deliberately makes things difficult for them and does not like them; they complain that English words and mathematical formulas are particularly difficult to remember; they complain that the teacher leaves too much homework. I couldn\’t finish writing until eleven o\’clock in the evening; I complained about the poor learning environment and the unpleasant smell coming from the campus… Faced with this situation, some parents hope to use severe criticism to stop their children\’s complaints, but they end up complaining. It causes children to have rebellious psychology; some parents ignore it, resulting in more complaints from their children. For this reason, many parents are very troubled. No matter which reason causes a child to complain, parents should not severely reprimand or turn a blind eye. This will cause greater harm to the heart of the child who already feels wronged. The correct way is to find out why the child is whiny, and then provide correct guidance to gradually change the child\’s psychological tendency. 05 Face failure and be able to lose. From the perspective of child psychology, children “cannot afford to lose” areA normal phenomenon. No matter what they do, children always hope that they can do better, be better than others, and gain recognition from those around them. However, because the child is young and immature in all aspects, he does not understand his own strengths and weaknesses. If he is not as good as others or loses to others in front of others or in group activities, he will show dissatisfaction and unhappy. Children\’s so-called frustration and powerlessness are mostly acquired through learning. When children do not do well, parents will always scold them like this: \”You didn\’t focus on studying, I\’m afraid you are not the material for reading!\” Over time, children will also use these thoughts to evaluate themselves. Therefore, when a child encounters setbacks, we should not focus on the child\’s mistakes, nor should we focus solely on the results. What is important is that the child is willing to try and work hard in the process. When our daughter was very young, we purposefully let her learn to face failure through games, giving her the opportunity to taste \”losing\” during play and experience the truth that \”victory and defeat are commonplace in military affairs.\” Only by allowing the child to face failure can he become stronger in the face of failure and setbacks and not be defeated by them. 06 Be willing to listen. A philosopher said: \”God gave us two ears, but only one mouth, meaning that we should listen more and speak less.\” However, the children we meet around us seldom listen to what others say. Many parents are troubled by the fact that their children will interrupt at will when adults are talking. What is even worse is that they cannot listen at all to what their parents say. How can we help children listen patiently to what others are saying or doing before asking questions, instead of interrupting what others are doing as they please? Listening should be mutual. Only when adults listen to children will children listen to us. As an adult, you must first set an example and respect your children the same way you treat adults, instead of just dismissing them. In other words, as parents, we don’t just say no when another adult asks us a question. Likewise, when children ask us various questions, we must treat them as adults. Children will learn to respect others because they are respected. Children are born with the ability to develop into adults with high cognitive functions, but they need time to grow. For children, truth is not the most important thing. What they need is someone who can listen to what they have to say, someone who can hold a pair of warm hands when they are uncomfortable, parents who make them feel safe, and someone who can open their hearts to their parents. In doing so, you seem to have given up on the \”severe\” education methods for your children, but you use a gentle and firm way to let your children understand right and wrong, make them more aware of their own emotions, and let them learn to learn as they grow. How to \”reasonably\” manage your emotions.