Chinese parent-child relationship

A girl in high school wants to chat with her mother. She plans to tell her mother how she has grown up over the years. The girl once had a lot of cowardice and low self-esteem in her heart, and she had no real friends. She felt that she had no ability to be loved, and no qualifications to love. Over the years, I have a lot of words in my heart that I want to talk to my mother. Unexpectedly, as soon as the girl said a few words, the old mother said impatiently: Why are you so busy? The daughter suddenly lost her desire to talk and never expressed her thoughts again. Such a simple thing actually points out the current situation of many \”Chinese-style\” families. Psychologist Chen Mo said that Chinese children have changed, but Chinese parents have not yet caught up. This should make us think carefully about the contradictions that exist between contemporary parents and children. There are great conflicts between parents and children, which are mainly reflected in two aspects. On the one hand, cognitive contradictions. Most of my parents were born in the 1970s and 1980s, when education levels were very low and there was little pressure for further education. The goal of everyone\’s studies is basically to assign jobs, and what they learn basically has nothing to do with employment. It may just be simple subject education, unlike now where all educational content is diversified. Now is the information age, and children receive information from all directions. Good, bad, it\’s all included, and the information received by the parents\’ generation is very one-sided. They have no exposure to knowledge other than books. Today\’s Internet is developed and it is also an era of short videos. Children\’s cognition is undergoing earth-shaking changes. For example, when faced with the same things, parents may not have as comprehensive a knowledge as their children. Parents do not understand their children, and children cannot agree with their parents\’ ideas. There will be a lot of conflicts between each other. In the quarrels and conflicts again and again, there will be a big gap between parents and children. On the other hand, it expresses contradictions. There should be more communication between parents and children. The other party may not necessarily be able to accept each other\’s opinions. As children grow older, their thoughts become more and more independent, and they have a desire to express themselves. When the generation born in the 1970s and 1980s were young, there were basically two children in the family, or even more. Children have very few opportunities to speak. They are accustomed to obeying their parents\’ arrangements, or doing things directly according to their parents\’ instructions. Most of today\’s children are only children, with families having at most two children. The children\’s personalities are very obvious, and they are even more independent in their self-expression. Parents often say that when we were young, we didn’t dare to talk back or quarrel with adults. There was no so-called rebellious period. Nowadays, children often run away from home. In fact, it is a normal phenomenon. Parents can think about it carefully and cannot just complain about their children. You should put yourself in someone else’s shoes and think about the children’s inner feelings. Did the parents not give their children enough company? The children were very lonely and wanted to get their parents\’ attention by running away from home. American educator Dewey once said that if we continue to educate today\’s children in the same way as yesterday, it will be equivalent to erasing the children\’s future. Parents, what should you do? 1. The mother is not anxious and the child has fewer problems. 2023The latest and most complete [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click here to view now! If you observe carefully, you will find that behind many emotionally unstable children there must be an anxious mother. Old mothers should find the source of their anxiety by themselves. Mothers are the ones who take care of their children the most. After the children go to school, the mother is most concerned about their children\’s grades. If mothers can face their children\’s scores calmly, they can reduce their anxiety. Today\’s children are becoming more and more sensible and mature earlier than those in the past. Parents must accept their children\’s growth. We live in such a new era. Children are affected by various factors and will grow much faster than children before. 2. Parents should take the initiative to get into their children’s hearts. If children take the initiative to open up to their parents, mothers should listen patiently to their children\’s ideas and give them correct guidance. Don\’t be like the girl\’s mother who impatiently interrupts her daughter\’s talk. This may be a pretentious and exaggerated mentality in the eyes of adults. For children, they really want their parents to understand their inner thoughts. Parents should not just complain that their children are not living up to expectations, but should think carefully because they are under a lot of pressure. 3. Parents consider issues from their children’s perspective. A mother said to her child: Son, we, mother and son, should not despise each other. If you do not despise me, I will not despise you. Only when there is no burden on the child can he move forward easily and without any sense of anxiety. Being around anxious people can be exhausting, and so can our children. The best education is not to make children have a sense of pressure and urgency all day long. Parents should let their children travel lightly. Give trust, support and encouragement, and don\’t be afraid of failure or setbacks. Provide correct guidance according to the child\’s personality. If the child is burdened with too much pressure to move forward, then they may give up halfway and fail to reach the place they want to go. Our ultimate goal in educating children is to make them happy and happy. Even if our child has a mediocre life and is just an ordinary migrant worker, the greatest happiness is when the whole family lives together happily. Parents should not think about making their children stand out from the crowd, just be ordinary people. I hope that all children can become their true selves and be happy ordinary people.