Chinese-style fathers: When they grow old, they can only be reduced to: Dad, where is my mother?

Yesterday I watched a variety show. There were about a dozen celebrities, fighting and laughing. The end of the show was very emotional. Each star received a letter and a dish from their relatives. So the host guided each star to talk about the most affectionate past events between them and their loved ones while growing up. As soon as the topic came up, everyone was very enthusiastic and emotional. Some recalled the difficulty of raising oneself from the mother, some remembered the unforgettable dependence of grandparents on each other, blessings from children, advice from lovers, and even messages from aunts, sisters, brothers, classmates, and comrades-in-arms. Blessings and stories of the past. Everyone recalled the difficult trek and the good times in the past with special emotion. At one point, my eyes welled up with tears, and I was filled with emotion when I thought of those relatives and friends who would never be able to see each other again. But at the end of the program, I found a particularly interesting phenomenon. Among the many relatives, few people mentioned their father. Even if a celebrity talked about his father, he would use the usual harsh, silent, humiliating and bear-the-burden rhetoric to talk about how he was. Confrontation and escape from his father. The host further guided the audience to find out what other touching stories they could share. The star said with a blank look on his face: My father is very hard working, running around for this family and so on. The host looked around eagerly at the other celebrities, trying to tell a story about his father. As a result, everyone agreed, and most of them made the same remarks. Suddenly, I feel that the role of a father is very similar to the lion who conquers the world in the animal world. When the cubs grow up, the old lion must gradually disappear from the group, and no one will remember it! In the end, the host made an embarrassing conclusion: Today is Father’s Day! To be honest, there was an inexplicable moment where I felt a little bit disappointed. As a son of a father and a father of a son, I found that the title father was so familiar yet so distant, so kind yet so vague. He is the closest stranger among relatives and the most silent witness of warmth. We often neglect the growth of our children because of our busyness, disdain expression in the name of rough men, and neglect delicacy and transmission because of our strength and tallness. Therefore, we personally mold ourselves into a cold mountain, a silent harbor and a distant figure. ! To be honest, that night I thought about my father and my lack of a father. I am my father’s sixth child. In fact, from the time the fourth child was born, in this poor and leaky home, all future births were classified as superfluous. I heard that after the birth of my third sister, I began to give birth to her repeatedly. People, in that era, it was much easier to give birth to a human than to give birth to a lamb. If you can\’t give it away, throw it away. However, we are all people with a big destiny, and we will still depend on this poor family after all. When I was a child, my impression of my father was that he was always frail and sickly, and he focused on other things. Whenever there is a problem at home, I go to my eldest father to discuss it. My father has some talents and can tell many stories, and he is also considered a person with a relatively high spirit. He will have some innovative and unique ideas, and in that relatively closed place, he can be considered a literate person. He is also quite humorous, can analyze problems, mediate conflicts, and always thinks that his talents are not appreciated, etc. Of course, these behaviors are limited to the outside world. After returning home, his father is silent and always seems to be worried. To be honest, when I was a child, I didn’t like to be alone with my father.When we were alone together, most of us were very silent. The man who was relatively noble and talented outside was particularly boring and dull in front of his children. When he educated us, he mostly used the outstanding children from the neighborhood to belittle us, and he never praised us face to face. He strictly abides by the ancient adage \”the father does not praise his son\”, which makes us feel particularly frustrated and sometimes makes us feel inferior! Fortunately, I left my father in the name of studying when I was very young. In the days without my father, I was a reckless young man, free and undisciplined, living in my own world and rarely paying attention to other people\’s feelings. So much so that no matter how difficult the situation I encountered outside or the impressive achievements I achieved, I never shared it with my family, let alone my father. One time my father met one of my former teachers by chance. The teacher probably talked about many of my previous performances, and then he realized that not only was I super good at sports, but I had also suffered so much. When my father came home that time, he said eagerly as soon as he entered the door: I saw so-and-so today and told you a lot. Although he didn\’t praise me excessively, I could see an indescribable surprise and relief in his eyes. I always thought my father was a coward, but when I was a teenager, I was seriously injured during a training session. According to the school\’s requirements, I had to notify someone at home to discuss the matter. Originally, it was planned that the eldest father would come over, but something unexpected happened and my father came. At first I thought my father would still be obedient, but unexpectedly, my father had tears in his eyes when he saw my injury. For the first time, he applied the wound as carefully as my mother did. Sometimes he would look at me intently with distress, and he He planned to sell the pasture and let me study in an ordinary school. He even advised me not to suffer this fate. There are many herdsmen in the world. If they can\’t, it\’s okay to go back to herding sheep. At the same time, like an enraged lion, my father refuted the team leader and my coach loudly and loudly. Even those leaders who were eager to use their power to suppress others were backed down by my father\’s neither humble nor overbearing attitude that could not be questioned. Come down. Later, I heard my coach talk about my father\’s performance. The coach said: Your father is a man who has seen the world and understands the truth! It doesn’t look like someone from a pastoral area! I know that my father loves us, but like most fathers in China, he shows his fatherly love in a majestic form, but separates us on both sides of the Taiwan Strait! The old father is more like the mother, talks a lot, and interferes forcefully in the lives of each of his children. I understand that he wanted to prove his existence and value through such participation. Especially in the past few years after his mother passed away, his father tried hard to run the family as if his mother was still there. He secretly bought a pot for each of his children. The flax oil was delivered, and even though we found out that he had been deceived into selling him gutter oil, we pretended to be happy and accepted it; he listened to the charlatan\’s fortune-telling and told me that this year would be bad for me, so he secretly redeemed it for me, praying and kowtowing for many days in a row. Taboo; when he heard that his brother-in-law had passed away, he cried and said: God, are you blind? How could I, an old immortal, take away such a young person? He would be happy to hear that his second brother had gone through a trough and said: Fortunately, he did not do anything immoral. God is wise and has not made it difficult for my children. . . . . . I originally thought that my father didn\’t know that I could writeSongs, thinking about my father, an old man in a pastoral area, who is not very interested in these pop music, and has never told him about it. Unexpectedly, one time when I went back, he got my album from somewhere and showed it off to a group of neighbors in the community. He asked everyone to listen to a short part of it and kept asking them if it was good. Of course, some people questioned him: Isn’t your son engaged in sports? Why does he write songs? Got it? He retorted angrily: Xi Jinping jumped in line! Can you control someone and become the president of the country? ! My father works hard to maintain the home as if mother is here, raising flowers and plants that mother likes, and growing honeydew melons that mother likes. However, when mother is here, every time we come home, if she is not at home, we will subconsciously ask :Dad, where is my mother? When my mother is away, I can\’t even stay there for more than a few days. It\’s not only deserted, but also lengthy. When I stayed with my father, I didn\’t know what to say. I knew that my father liked national affairs, so I just analyzed the political trends based on hearsay. Other than that, I remained silent. The silent father at that time must have been extremely disappointed, but after all we couldn\’t find a topic of interest. When I went back that day, I saw my father standing silently in the wind. I felt inexplicably that this was what my future would look like. My father is the epitome of countless Chinese fathers. He is not good at expressing himself, neglects himself, has a soft heart, but is always silent. Every time I get along with my father, he always compares my qualifications as a father. I vowed time and time again not to be like a father, but in practice, didn’t I still use the excuse of being busy and supporting the family to become a busy and dignified father? During this time, I accompany my son for training and find some topics to communicate with him when I have nothing to do. It was the first time that my son knew that I was so professional in sports, the first time that I was a good online writer, and the first time that he knew many of my past experiences. He must have thought that I was the drunkard and drunkard who returned late at night in his mother’s eyes. An impulsive and bold man. In the eyes of my son, I began to gain prestige. He even secretly discussed with his mother that he wanted to use his New Year\’s money to buy me a pair of trousers. He would also call me during self-study the next night and tell me to drink less. For the first time, I was caressed softly by a little person. I suddenly felt that being busy is no excuse. It is such a wonderful thing to say it out loud when you have love! Of course, my daughter doesn’t quite understand the importance of accompanying her as she grows up. She will still scold me in her mother’s tone: It stinks so much, can you wash your feet? But when she saw me standing at the school gate to pick her up, she would still jump excitedly to show off to every classmate: That\’s my dad! Some people say that mother’s education is like sunshine. Without sunshine, we will immediately feel the darkness of life, while father’s education is like air. Without air, life will slowly suffocate. Children long for mother\’s love, and of course they also long for father\’s love. That day I saw a video interviewing Jaycee Chan. He said: There is not even the back of his father in his memory. I broke out in a cold sweat for no reason. Compared with Jackie Chan\’s career, we were nothing. We almost became like fathers. In the name of being busy, we became the most silent relatives and the strangest witnesses! I don’t want my children to be who they were in the past, and I don’t want to let myself be the father of the future! ISecretly vowed to be a warm father and a man who is good at expressing himself. Because I don’t want to stand silent in the wind!