Compared with the children who are beaten, the children who hit others are more pitiful…

Two days ago, a male classmate in my daughter\’s class was dismissed because he hit someone. The cause of this incident was that the boy\’s deskmate clamored to draw the 38th line. If he crossed the line, he would have to pay a fine of 5 yuan to the other party. The boy felt that he was tall and long, and the 38th line in the middle was unfair to him, so he asked his deskmate to argue. But he found that he was no match for the other party in terms of eloquence, so he picked up the stool next to him and threw it at his deskmate, causing the girl to be covered in blood. In fact, this is the Nth time the boy has used violence to resolve disputes. Before this time, his parents didn\’t take their child\’s violent behavior too seriously. In their words, it is nothing more than that children should not suffer when things happen and must be able to resist. Parents feel unspeakably proud of their children who bully others. After all, it was not his child who was beaten. The boy\’s parents panicked until the beating was bloody and the boy\’s parents panicked. They blocked the classroom door to talk to the teacher about the child\’s upbringing and looked for the injured girl\’s parents to negotiate compensation, just to prevent the child from being expelled from school. But the matter has come to this point, and it is no longer helpful. Long before this, no one wanted to be the roommate of this \”violent boy\”. Now, the problem child is gone and everyone feels at ease. All the parents in the class group lamented that the girl who was beaten was so pitiful, and some said they really wanted to beat the naughty child. But I think the kid who hit is actually more pitiful. What happened to this child? Why, unknowingly, did that innocent and lovely child turn into the \”problem child\” that everyone avoids? Only children who feel insecure will hit others. We are used to sympathizing with the weak. We often feel that the children who are being beaten are unable to protect themselves, and even label them as timid. Many parents treat children who are bullied at home. They were all worried. However, the truth is exactly the opposite. Children who hit others have more serious problems. They will hit people precisely because they are extremely insecure, cowardly and have low self-esteem, and they don\’t know what else they can do besides violence. Behind children who hit others, there are often extremely doting parents or elders. They are used to being properly cared for and used to being the core of the family. They may have clothes to put on, food to eat, and mouth to eat. Even if they want the moon, their parents will try their best to help them get it. They are used to, \”I should be the center of the world\” and will cry non-stop whenever someone doesn\’t do what they want. So, can anyone really be the core of the world all the time? Our view of ourselves determines our life. There is an old saying in China, \”You will see your age at the age of three, and you will see your life at the age of seven.\” This sentence may seem absurd, but in fact it still has a certain meaning. As human beings, we have been searching for the \”meaning of life\” since the moment we were born. By the time we are about 5 years old, we will have formed a fixed understanding of \”what we should expect from the world and ourselves.\” Since then, we will use this understanding throughout our lives to explain various problems we encounter in life and make corresponding behavioral feedback. A spoiled child can get what he wants without working hard or paying for others.They often think that \”I am the most important and precious person in the world, and I can get everything I want.\” Children who grow up with this kind of cognition will always think that the people around them need to meet their requirements unconditionally and take care of their emotions unconditionally. Therefore, they lack independence and are at a loss when encountering problems, begging others for help. In the process of waiting for help from others, children will lose the confidence to face difficulties and become more and more psychologically fragile. However, the world is not destined to revolve around just one person, and no one can always spoil them. When they change to a new environment, or when others cannot meet their needs, they will not take the initiative to think differently, and they will not have the ability to exchange with others for what they want. Violence becomes the only thing they can do. Children who hit others have worse interpersonal relationships. In a psychological study on children\’s social relationships at the University of Missouri in the United States, 20 children were asked to rate their favorability ratings of other children after a summer camp. Ask them who they like to play with the most and who they like to play with the least. After combining the evaluations of all children, the researchers concluded the social status of the children in this summer camp. Those children who were aggressive and unsociable scored the lowest, and they were consistently excluded from other children\’s friend groups. Child psychologist Piaget also pointed out that peers play a vital role in children\’s social development. In the process of interacting with other children, whether a child is popular, ignored, or excluded among peers, as well as the child\’s status in peer interactions, are obviously related to the child\’s social development as an adult. sex. In other words, children who hit others were not popular when they were young, and they still cannot get the attention of their peers when they grow up. But you find that no, this fact is completely contrary to the life belief of beating children. There is a saying that goes like this: \”Children who need love the most will often use the least cute ways to ask for love.\” Children who hit others will hope to gain other people\’s attention and friendship through hitting, but this behavior It will only push your friends further and further away. The child\’s stage will only gradually become smaller, and eventually it can only accommodate him alone. I think that every child who hits others and cannot control himself will be troubled by interpersonal relationships for a long time. Wrong self-perception will affect children\’s understanding of life. Maybe some parents will say, don\’t fool me with these big principles. What if the child is still small and others give way to him? Children are just ignorant, they should be forgiven and tolerated. But the reality is that wrong perceptions will only cause this society to severely punish children. Psychologist Adler once expressed his concern in the book \”Beyond Inferiority\”: \”Spoiled children are likely to become the most dangerous group in our society when they grow up.\” The children of the next door neighbor are older Luo is the only son in the family and is 17 years old this year. As a child who was pampered by his parents, Da Luo had no good friends since he was a child, because all the classmates who wanted to play with him had been beaten by him. He could bully others, but they could not fight back. Every time Ronaldo is accusedLater, the father would come to the door indiscriminately and accuse the other parent. Gradually, everyone stayed away from Da Luo. The parents of classmates did not allow their children to play with Da Luo. After entering junior high school, Da Luo gradually became introverted and unsociable. He was usually taciturn and seemed to be a completely different person. The neighbor felt very relieved, thinking that the child had grown up and became sensible, and no longer had to worry about it. However, just some time ago, the teacher told the neighbors that Da Luo was caught stealing things and beat his boss violently. The boss\’s family wanted to take the child to the jail. The neighbor\’s family was so worried that they begged their grandfather and grandma everywhere, hoping that the one who was beaten could get away with it. But at this time, Da Luo not only did not realize that what he did would involve legal punishment, but instead blamed his parents for not doing enough, and even this matter could not be settled. Only then did the neighbors discover that Da Luo had not become sensible as he grew older. On the contrary, he had gone further and further down the road of violence. A spoiled child has only himself in the world, and often stops moving forward because of this, or simply avoids problems. The child\’s future growth path will definitely go through twists and turns. They will also turn from problem children into problem youth. They are likely to become criminals, mental patients, and in severe cases, may even commit suicide. What makes a good parent? Children have a long life, and the journey of raising them is not easy. The best gift we can give our children may be this: we love her, and at the same time let her learn to love others; we give unconditional support, but not unprincipled doting; we guide them to see the world, and at the same time, we also Tell them the rules of how this world works. There are a thousand ways to love your children, and one is to give your children meticulous care. Accompanying them to find the meaning of life, and then watching them integrate into society and thrive, isn\’t it another more meaningful way of love?