Competing with Douyin to compete for children, how can a mother win?

A VC said: Some people say that Douyin is the spiritual opium of the new era. This is not conclusive, but it obviously has the potential of an opium. For me, who has been involved in Internet companies, it is difficult to ignore such hot words such as financing, traffic, and valuation when faced with such a popular product. So one day I deliberately downloaded Douyin to see what it was about. I originally just wanted to look down coldly, but I was leaning on the sofa with my head down, and when I raised my head to brush my bangs, I glanced at the wall clock on the wall, and it turned out that an hour and a half had passed. I felt like it was only 10 minutes. This really scared me. One jump. If I hadn\’t raised my head, I would have continued swiping. This is so scary, I really understand what it means: 5 minutes on Douyin, three hours on earth. I consider myself a self-disciplined person, but I still immediately uninstalled Douyin. I was afraid that my self-discipline would not stand the test of Douyin. Time flies when the white horse passes by. Douyin is undoubtedly an unprecedented success in retaining users. This popular style loved by fashionable men and fashionable women can also attract middle-aged women like me. So, what we are going to discuss today is how to stop children from playing TikTok? Of course not, you can\’t stop this at all. Even if he doesn\’t play today, he will play tomorrow. I don’t dare to play at home, but now that I’m living on campus, I can play whatever I want. Like a certain form of entertainment that was popular in our youth, it is inherently neutral. The difference is that entertainment in today\’s era has greatly tested children\’s background and parents\’ self-discipline. Recently I read three books by Liu Chenglian on how to accompany your children in elementary school, junior high school, and high school. Originally, I wanted to read one book first and then read the second book when my child is in junior high school. I finally finished it in one sitting. The author does not have Yin Jianli\’s God-given understanding. He explains the classic theories in a simple and clear way, and his writing style is also plain. What attracts me to continue reading is that she is as ordinary as you and me, and the shining points in ordinary people are more touching. There was a period when the child was in adolescence, and the author had conflicts with the child many times, and could no longer be as close to each other as before. The economic conditions were not good at that time. In order to save money, the author went to the bookstore every weekend without telling his children to read books on parenting and psychology. Thinking about how to communicate with children next. This humility touches me. In another paragraph, a child becomes obsessed with fantasy novels because all his classmates are reading them. The author wants the children to read more classics, but she knows that forcing them to do so is useless. She first read her child\’s fantasy novel and discussed the characters in it with her child. The child felt that her mother understood her very well. At the same time, she often read classics at home, hoping to infect her children, and eventually she inspired them. In order to \”believe and then advise\”, the author has good intentions. Throughout these three books, her parenting philosophy is not brilliant and she often makes mistakes. What\’s valuable about her is that she does what she wants her children to do first, and is willing to learn for the sake of her children and become more self-disciplined. This love seems simple, but it is actually very great. So, are we willing to change for the sake of our children? We don’t need to get rich overnight, but just change our daily routine. I read an article urging everyone to cherish their spare time and uninstall TikTok. I think the article is quite pertinent, but I was shocked when I saw the comment section. Douyin fans responded with a lot of counterattacks. One of them said: We squeeze in the bus to and from get off work every day, watch the boss’s face at work, and we can’t have a corner to relax!It’s not an exaggeration to say this. Who doesn’t need some sex in their life? For adults, TikTok, eating chicken, and pesticides are just tools to relax. Let a tiring day end with hehe, and tomorrow will start with hehe again. Apart from wasting some time, it will basically not have a big impact on you. But it is different for children. Their world view and outlook on life have not yet been formed, and they can easily be confused by this noise. The reason why a child is a child is that he does not yet have the self-control and judgment of an adult. At this point, parents often overestimate their children, but at the same time underestimate their children\’s \”courage\”. You will not quit your job and play Douyin full-time, but your children have the courage to pay attention to everything. They can drop out of school and go to work professionally. The research became popular overnight. I once attended a Chinese lecture. While waiting, a child about 10 years old watched a short video. His mother sat aside and told her friend who was traveling with him: He is obsessed with this now. This is not a good thing. Do not let your children play with it. The language in it is very vulgar. A friend asked: Why don\’t you uninstall it yet? Mom replied: I usually play on my way to get off work, and his father also likes to play. It’s okay for us adults to play, but it’s not allowed for children. Strange picture: The mother is complaining and the child is playing. The mother does not stop it, the child does not raise his head, and the two have no influence on each other. The lecture started, and this mother and son happened to be sitting in the row in front of me. Whenever the teacher talks about key points. Mothers would poke their children and say: Did you see that the teacher said that he should memorize more classical Chinese? The teacher talked about another important point, and the mother poked the child again and said: The teacher said that the literacy level is 5,000. The child listened impatiently, and whenever his mother came closer, he instinctively turned his head away. Mediocre parents, if they want their children to do something, they will urge their children to do it, encourage, supervise, and even force them, letting their children work hard, and they will always be behind. Smart parents, if they want their children to do something, do it themselves first, shape the environment, infect their children with the environment, and edify them with the family atmosphere. It\’s fine for adults to play, but not for children. This is the psychological state of many parents. Watching TV dramas, watching videos, and playing porn, but children must work hard, otherwise they are not good children. Adulthood is the threshold of laziness and the privilege of lack of self-discipline. Learning is never the enemy of age, nor is talent. What\’s more, every move of parents is a mirror for their children. I know the parents of a high school student whose daughter did not get good grades. In order to allow her daughter to study with peace of mind, they locked their mobile phones at home. My daughter usually lives in school, and her classmates all have mobile phones, but she does not. If anything happens at school, she has to borrow her classmates\’ mobile phones to contact home. Her classmates have QQ groups and communicate in the group, but she does not. If you think about it a little bit, you will know how isolated the child is. The daughter repeatedly begged her parents to return her cell phone, but her parents still adhered to their principles. I asked: In the future, when your daughter goes to college and leaves this city, how will you lock it? We can\’t lock our children\’s phones at all, just like we can\’t stop our children from playing TikTok. It\’s extremely stupid to use authority to forcibly stop it. That is the child\’s living environment and the air he breathes. How can it be isolated? Whether it’s TikTok or something else, as long as most of the classmates around them are playing, the children will definitely play. Especially teenagers, they urgently need recognition from their own ecological circle, such asIf others play but you don\’t play, you are a different kind. Socially, children are often anxious and are not the carefree little birds we imagine. So what can we do? Parents should use adult judgment to judge whether an activity is upward or downward. Upward activities guide you upward and allow you to grow. Growth is painful. After practice and boredom, it can give people long-lasting joy. This kind of joy can be taken out and savored. For example, after reading a thick book, you learn to ride a bicycle. Downward activities cater to you, make you relaxed and happy, push you whatever you like, and block all the factors you don\’t like. For example, several popular products today are actually catering to users, which is also the prerequisite for their popularity. Haha, it came and went quickly, without any thickness. I put down the phone and immediately felt boundless emptiness. In the small society of the family, parents should put down low-end entertainment, learn a little, be more self-disciplined, give their children good products to experience, and let their children experience upward happiness. The kind of textured joy that can only be experienced after hard work and waiting is incomparable with cheap hehe. Especially when children are young, this influence is particularly powerful and is enough to adapt to all changes. Last year, in order to make my eldest son fall in love with chess, I, who had never played chess before, taught myself chess. Although my level is still very poor, I was able to play two games with my child in my free time, which was very enjoyable. I think that if it were not for my children, I might never learn chess in my life. This would create a more positive family atmosphere. It is our children who lead us forward, not us who sacrifice for them. Every era needs its own unique entertainment activities. There is no need to demonize them. It is normal to play them. The scary thing is to indulge in them. How can children not be addicted? Only when a child has a foundation in his heart can he resist external temptations. He enjoys self-confidence and restraint, and has a certain immunity to noise and conformity. After he has experienced the joy of giving and waiting, he will disdain the lack of quality and cherish the inner peace more. Children who have had a full meal, even if they see a variety of snacks, will just try them and will not overeat. A primary school teacher told me: The competition between children is actually the competition between parents. It is not a rough competition for wealth, but a competition for parents\’ vision and wisdom. This is a valuable sentence that is worth savoring again and again. So, are you willing to change for the sake of your children?