Dad knows how important it is to the family to give mom a holiday.

Every Saturday morning, I take my children to interest classes and I always see such a father. This father is sitting alone outside the door of the small class (3-4 years old) classroom. He either puts the computer on his lap and does his own work for a while, or brings a book and reads quietly by himself. Whenever his son comes out of class, he always holds his hand and asks: \”Where do you want to play later? Shall we go cycling? Pulleys? Or play football?\” A mother in the class was curious and asked him: \”Why do you always want to play?\” I saw you picking up the child alone, where is his mother?\” Dad replied: \”Our family has a tradition that every Saturday the mother of the child is given a day off. She goes out to play with her friends.\” Several mothers in the same class burst out after hearing this Like: \”Oh my god, you are such a good dad! You are so enlightened\”, \”Look, this is a typical father from other people\’s family\”… The father replied with a shy smile: \”Not as good as you say. But this is indeed the result of our family\’s long-term \’practical experience\’. If there is a person in the family who takes care of the children for a long time, then it is recommended to give them at least one real day off every week.\” This father told us The story of their family started: when the child was half a year old, the grandmother who was helping to take care of the child had to go back because of something going on in her hometown. For a while, no one was available to help, and the burden of raising the children instantly fell on the wife. \”She originally had a job, but she quit it for the sake of her children. It was fine at first, but soon I discovered that a person who was originally very gentle, mellow, and decent was often out of control and angry. Several times I When I get home from work, I can clearly feel that she is suppressing her anger and irritability.\” Perhaps it is because this father does not have an elderly person to help him at home and is involved in much of the housework himself, so he is not concerned about the tedious and messy process of raising children. He understands. \”I found that taking care of children, especially babies, is really trivial and detailed. The room you have just tidied up will be messed up in the blink of an eye. If you try to communicate with him, he will not understand which country you are in. Moreover, as long as she is awake, she is very energetic; she is also very unwilling to play by herself and needs someone to accompany her every minute… What if she gets sick again or stays up at night? So it is really not surprising that my wife used to have such a good temper. I also often break down,” the child’s father said. It was at that time that the father began to reflect: instead of always taking care of the children together on weekends, he might as well take on more responsibilities, liberate his wife, and try to give her one day off every week. \”Really, people who take care of their children for a long time are too nervous and are always in a state of high pressure, high intensity, and high anxiety, which is a danger in itself,\” the father emphasized. So he encouraged her to have a rest, \”and a complete rest, not just resting at home and watching over her, but \’getting away\’ and going out with her friends to chat, go shopping, watch a movie, change her mood… After all, Only when her mood improves can her children truly be happy.\” Now, their children are in kindergarten and their mother has returned to the workplace, but the family still continues this \”tradition.\” \”Actually, you can see that she can be freed from work and housework one day a week, dress herself up and go out and drive.He is happy to be back and has a sense of accomplishment as a husband.\” The father said: \”Besides, sometimes when I work overtime on weekends or go on business trips for several consecutive days, his mother is fully responsible and supportive. \”A father who knows how to give his mother a proper holiday simply understands that a mother\’s good mood can bring out happy children, and is an important foundation for a happy family; a father\’s active care can also receive more consideration, and it is the whole family that can work together to make progress. The key. Coincidentally, the well-known American writer Joan Anderson also wrote a book \”Good Women Go Home\”, advocating that as mothers, women must have their own small holidays, even if it is just a small moment, they need Pause work and housework, and really leave some time for yourself. Because the natural motherhood and social expectations can easily cause new mothers to unconsciously fall into a \”selfless\” mode after entering this role and over-invest in their children. , endless love… And this is a terrible thing for the mother, the child, and the entire family. I think of a mother around me. This mother has always had a strong personality and gave birth to a child. After that, she tried her best to balance her family and career. From the time she gave birth to her daughter and was still in confinement, she used a small notebook to record the child\’s milk-drinking time every day, bathe the child and listen to music at a fixed time. , wiping her belly button, but she just cooked rice, took a shower, and took a nap. After her maternity leave, she entered another \”tense state\” after work every day. She insisted that her grandma take parenting notes and strictly review them as soon as she got off work. After that, I continued to follow my schedule and worked tirelessly to tell stories, make complementary foods, and attend early childhood education for my children… But as far as I know, her five-year-old daughter is not \”appreciative\” now, and often cries and makes noises at home, and is naughty and rebellious. He once said, \”What I hate most is my mother.\” Why? Because a mother who completely sacrifices herself will put pressure on her children and family, and these pressures will eventually return to the family. Mom knows how to give herself a holiday, and dad knows how Giving the mother a holiday is just to hope that she can have a small piece of her own time, space, and hobbies after work and children, instead of focusing all her energy and emotions on the children, causing the children to bear great pressure. . A good mother will always be a good self. In fact, now, mothers take \”home vacations\” with their besties once or twice a year, which has become a fashionable and healthy lifestyle. Many of my friends We all have had this kind of experience: find a weekend to take a break from your busy schedule, don’t take your kids or your husband with you, put on a long skirt and high heels with a box bottom, and go to a corner to have a youthful walk, play and night chat. … Getting rid of the fixed life pattern is first of all a kind of refreshing and replenishment for oneself; at the same time, it can also make the parent-child relationship more intimate and independent from each other during the short separation. Today, most traditional families still have mothers taking care of their children. For the Lord. And my mother’s attempt to give herself a holiday is another form of “letting go” and knowing how to properly “hand over” the baton to her father. A sister of my friend is the second mother of two sons. Last year, because of a rare Opportunities for advancement without having to do so every weekendIt takes three hours to attend a vocational training session. My father and brother sympathized with my mother’s contribution to the family over the years and decided to fully support her. But what she never expected was that on the afternoon every week when she was absent, there would be a drama between three men in the family, and it would be very exciting. The older brother orders food and the father cooks; the older brother reads and the younger brother listens to books; the older brother cleans the table and the father washes diapers; the younger brother plays with toys and the older brother makes arrangements… In the division of labor and interaction, they learn to care for, compromise, wait and understand each other. In fact, a good family relationship does not mean that the partner is always the child who will not grow up, and the child is always the child waiting to be fed, but that everyone can grow and achieve each other in this relationship. . And every surprise of growth is hidden in the vacation that dad gives to mom.