Dealing with Adolescents: Have Goals

The eldest daughter was in the first grade of junior high school last year, and the teacher asked her to run 800 meters every week. The child was out of breath and came back to complain, why she had to take the 800-meter test in the high school entrance examination? Every time I failed the test, I once felt that I would lose points in the 800 meters of the high school entrance examination. I just listened to her complaining, and when I had finished venting my emotions, I told her that the 800-meter run in the high school entrance examination is to exercise perseverance and persistence, and that everyone can do it as long as they work hard. Always encourage her, let her take her time, and start practicing with 200 meters. In the past few weeks, my eldest daughter has scored perfect scores in the 800-meter test, and she even arrived a few seconds early. I asked my daughter: \”How did you do it?\” My daughter said: \”It turns out that there is no goal. When running, I should use more force or not, and I should not use more force when I sprint. I have no strength in sprinting. The whole process is running blindly. This year I am running with my classmates. , The first two were too strenuous, and the gap was too big. The third place felt that he could hold on with grit, so he didn\’t get a perfect score in the first two times, but he was only one or two seconds behind, and then he ran with the second place, so he got a perfect score.\” My classmates saw that she got full marks, but she was not as good as them last year. They also asked her for advice. She said that she had a goal, followed the other person closely, kept an equal distance, and bit the person in front if they didn\’t speed up, and caught up when they speeded up. As a result, her classmates discussed with her and asked her to run with her, making her daughter the target. Her daughter had to lead two classmates, and her sense of responsibility suddenly emerged. The two classmates ran with her, and both students got full marks. There are several students in the class who ask for leave every 800 meters. The teacher is very responsible. After checking the leave form after class, some students even asked for menstruation three times a month. Some male students also asked for leave because they felt dizzy and had stomachaches. Many parents wonder why their children don’t want to go to school? Why are children lagging behind? In fact, they may find ways to escape when they encounter difficulties in some small things. I didn’t want to face it again and again, and in the end I accumulated too much and lost confidence and motivation. 02Drucker, known as the \”Father of Modern Management,\” believes that most people grow up according to their own goals and requirements. They will grow as they think they should achieve. If they are not strict with themselves, they can only stand still and there will be no development. Simon Sinek, a leadership expert, author, and discoverer of the Golden Circle Law, is known as the first person in leadership philosophy. He said in a TED speech: The greatest companies and individuals have a kind of greatness. way of thinking: the golden circle rule. In the \”Golden Circle\” thinking principle: Why: is the core of motivation. What are your goals and beliefs? How to do it: It’s the way to do something. What to do: It’s the result of something. If the \”why\” is not answered clearly, the goal is not something that must be changed deep in the heart of the company or the individual, and in the end it will be difficult to achieve the ideal state of the goal. When we apply it to parenting, we can also use golden circle thinking. Yesterday, my second daughter scored 83 points in the math test. The teacher asked if she was satisfied with her score. She said she raised her hand and was very dissatisfied. She herself concluded why she did not do well in the test. She said that she did not pay attention to a class test and did not check it. She took the test absentmindedly and did not take it seriously. I told my children that without the usual exercises as a foundation, there would be magic in the final exam and they would get high scores in one go. How could it be possible?Woolen cloth. What to do next? The second daughter started to set goals and wrote down a few points. She must not make mistakes in calculations or miss questions. She must review the questions clearly. Without goals, there is no motivation, and of course methods are needed. Learning is a repetitive process. Without enough repetition, good results cannot be achieved. 03 Last time, there was a mother who never cared about her children. Suddenly she saw that her children had poor English scores and asked her children to memorize 30 words in one night. Such goals are unrealistic. I told her that three or five words a day should be within reach of the child. Your goal would scare the child away, and the child would become seriously tired of learning. Teacher Yu Minhong said: If you cannot achieve your biggest goal all at once, as long as you move forward step by step and achieve a small goal, you will eventually be able to achieve your biggest goal. The achievement of every small goal is preparation for your next bigger goal. Children must have goals when learning. The goal is the beacon of life and the source of strength. If it is lost, the direction of progress will be lost. Parents should also be the beacon of their children\’s lives, lighting up their children\’s path forward. With their parents\’ company, their children will not be alone in their lives.