\”Destroying\” a child\’s inner drive is very simple, just start by accompanying him in his homework

Some parents reported to us: \”Since my children have been in school, I have been accompanying them to do homework and study almost every day after work. However, my children are not motivated at all and never take the initiative in learning. I have to follow behind and urge them at all times.\” : Go and review the English you made mistakes yesterday; go and read the key essays summarized by the teacher twice; your reading comprehension is too weak, go and practice…\” When doing homework, I always fumble here and there. , if I don’t urge him, he won’t move. Later, I even ignored the urging and just sat in a chair every day in a daze, procrastinating again and again and unable to finish writing. I believe many parents have this experience. Accompanying their children to study has long been a worry for many parents. 01How does doing homework with your child destroy your child’s drive? Accompanying children to do homework may seem like parents are dutifully tutoring their children, but in fact, if they are not careful, they may become an \”invisible killer\” that destroys their children\’s internal drive. 01 Parents’ Verbal Violence A reality we have to admit is that most parents discipline their children by yelling. If that doesn’t work, they raise the volume again. But if there is, it is not like criticizing the child, but more like a kind of verbal violence. Although it will not leave scars on the child\’s body, it can cast a shadow in the child\’s heart that will never go away, and even ruin the child\’s life because of it. For example, have you ever said: \”How many times have I told you, why can\’t you remember it? Are you out of your mind?\” \”You can\’t do this question no matter what? Why are you so stupid!\” Parents When doing homework with your child, it\’s easy to get angry because of a small mistake. This kind of negative verbal stimulation will not only make children feel frustrated, but also make them doubt their abilities. Dr. Martin Teicher of Harvard Medical School once conducted a study: He led a team for more than ten years to study the effects of parental verbal violence (such as long-term yelling, scolding, insults, threats, belittling, and teasing against children) on children. Harm caused by children. The results of the study are shocking: children who have been exposed to verbal violence for a long time have a reduction in the size of their hippocampus (a key brain area for memory formation) and corpus callosum. This shows that the child\’s memory and reaction speed have dropped significantly, and the child\’s entire IQ has been directly affected! Brain science research shows that in an environment of long-term yelling, the amygdala in a child\’s brain will be continuously stimulated. If the amygdala is repeatedly stimulated, the child will live in fear at any time. When children are subjected to severe verbal violence, they will feel shaking all over, shortness of breath, body pain, and even nausea and dizziness. Compared with children who are \”not yelled at\”, children who are \”frequently yelled\” are more likely to be forced to lead a life with poorer language understanding, poorer memory, and a more \”slow\” life. 02 Parents like to do too much. When doing homework with their children, some parents like to overdo it. The children will give answers in a hurry after a slight pause. This approach seems to be helping children, but in fact it deprives them of the opportunity to think independently. Children will gradually develop a dependence mentality and will no longer be willing to use their own brains when encountering problems, but will wait for their parents\’ \”rescue\”. 03 Parents like to pay too much attention. Every parent longs for his or her children to learn consciously. The conventional thinking of parents is that it is necessary toTo get good grades, children need to read more books and do more exercises. Therefore, parents are accustomed to \”keep an eye on their children\” and force their children to read books and do exercises as long as they are free. Of course, this kind of learning method that relies on \”watching\” is also useful. However, this method is not only tiring for the children, but also for the parents. Over time, it will also cause resistance and boredom in the children, leading to a dislike of learning. It is human nature to pursue comfort. Children study for a day and look forward to rest when they return home. However, the reality is that as soon as they return home, they will be supervised by their parents and urged to study again. Children who do not get a rest can easily develop a rebellious mentality. Parents try their best to make their children practice – excessive pressure – pressure transfer, passive and perfunctory learning – poor learning results – parents increase practice – children are more stressed – learning is more perfunctory… children have no self-space to release stress at all , these pressures will accumulate and gradually form a cycle. 02How to help children improve their internal drive? Saint-Exupéry, the author of \”The Little Prince,\” once said: \”If you want to build a ship, don\’t hire people to collect wood, don\’t give orders, don\’t assign tasks, but stimulate their desire for the ocean.\” Education is not filling a bucket of water, but lighting a fire. 01 Scientifically improve children\’s internal drive and EEG biofeedback training, which can help children relieve stress, create a harmonious and healthy brain environment, make children feel peaceful and happy, help children enter an efficient learning state, and help children gradually improve from the bottom of the brain. Cognitive ability, thereby effectively improving learning efficiency. Developing targeted training plans based on children\’s needs and using multi-point training methods can help children train their brains more comprehensively. The teacher will guide the children throughout the training process, control the entire training process in a timely manner, and help them complete the tasks just right. 02 Provide challenging tasks Children like to be challenged, which can stimulate their interest in learning. Parents can provide their children with some challenging tasks, such as completing a puzzle, cracking a password, designing a simple robot, etc. These tasks require children to use their brains, think about solutions, and require a certain amount of effort to complete. When children complete these tasks, parents should give timely affirmation and praise. This will give children a sense of pride and satisfaction and will motivate them to learn further. 03 Cultivate children’s interests and hobbies Cultivating children’s interests and hobbies can make them more willing to learn and make it easier to maintain their enthusiasm for learning. Parents can choose courses and activities suitable for their children based on their interests and hobbies. For example: music, painting, dance, sports, etc. When children are interested in things they like, they will be more engaged in learning and work harder to pursue their goals.