\”Diary of a Teenager\”: Revealing the truth behind depression among children in troubled families

The recently released movie \”Diary of a Young Man\” profoundly depicts a family tragedy. In the film, the elder brother faces learning difficulties, which is in sharp contrast to his younger brother who has excellent academic performance. The elder brother endured his father\’s violence for a long time, and although his mother was compassionate, she was unable to change the situation. In the end, my brother chose to commit suicide by jumping off a building at the tender age of 10. This ending shocked me greatly and made me think a lot. In the film, although the father exerts equal control over the mother and brother\’s violence, the brother becomes the one who develops serious psychological problems. Why is this? The phenomenon of \”identified patients\” can be explained by the concept of \”identified patients\” in family therapy. This concept refers to the fact that when a family becomes dysfunctional, family members will often (often unconsciously) choose one member to epitomize the family\’s mental health issues, and this role is usually the child in the family rather than the parent. There are three reasons why children easily become \”identified patients\” in the family: 1. Children have insufficient ability to deal with family conflicts. They lack effective solutions to family conflicts. Compared with adults, the latter may choose Temporarily leaving or seeking outside help to relieve stress, children are often forced to directly witness domestic violence or quarrels without being able to stop them. This sense of helplessness adds to their psychological burden. After a conflict, parents may also confide in their children about their pain, placing additional emotional burden on their children. 2. Children tend to blame themselves for family conflicts. Therefore, when emotions or conflicts arise between parents, children may believe that their own inappropriate behavior caused these problems. In addition, some parents may say to their children during an argument: \”If we get divorced, it will be because of you,\” or \”I would be better off without you.\” These words can make children feel a strong sense of guilt and responsibility, thereby exacerbating their psychological burden. Under long-term guilt, children may even deliberately create problems to provide parents with an opportunity to criticize themselves together. In this way, parents\’ attention will be diverted to their children\’s problems, thereby temporarily shelving their own conflicts and creating an illusion of family harmony. While this approach may relieve family tensions in the short term, in the long term it is harmful to the child\’s mental health and may exacerbate his or her role as a \”decided patient.\” 3. Children have no say in family dynamics. Children usually have relatively low power, which puts them at a disadvantage when facing family conflicts. Even if children realize that certain problems originate from their parents, they lack enough influence to change the situation. This phenomenon can be likened to \”when gods fight, mortals suffer\”, meaning that conflicts between more authoritative members of the family often leave children suffering the consequences. In clinical practice, if our intervention only targets children with psychological problems themselves, even if the children learn more effective communication skills, they still lack the power to change the communication patterns of their parents or families. When children return to their original family environment, they will become depressed because they are unable to use the newly learned communication methods, or the family\’s old patterns will offset their efforts.causing the problem to persist. In summary, why when dealing with problems within the family, we advocate comprehensive family therapy and intervention, rather than just focusing on the child identified as the patient. In family therapy, the child will be liberated from the role of patient and relationships between family members will be readjusted and established. Finally, when the entire family is able to face problems and challenges together, without the need for a scapegoat, the child\’s depressive symptoms will begin to improve.