Do a good job in educating special children: Let emotions be a good helper on the thorny road

Children with special needs are a group that deserves special attention and care. Their education is a major livelihood matter related to children\’s health, family happiness, and social harmony. In addition to school education intervention and national policy support, parents who accompany these special children day and night play the most important role in their growth and bear the greatest responsibility and pressure. In the process of caring for and accompanying their children, parents\’ subjective wishes and action effectiveness determine whether the medical, educational and other resources around special children can be maximized and utilized. As parents of children with special needs, they often have to invest a lot of manpower, energy, and time. Not only are they unable to use the parenting experience of other ordinary children as a reference sample, they also bear a psychological burden that is unimaginable to others. Feeling at a loss, feeling guilty and self-blame, struggling, and even lifelong worries have become the emotional script for most parents of children with special needs. Emotions are the \”gas gauge\” for action. Positive and healthy emotions match a proactive and upbeat attitude towards life, while negative and pessimistic emotions correspond to a depressed and withdrawn behavior. Parents of children with special needs have been in a high-pressure state of physical and mental exhaustion for a long time, and it is difficult to experience the sense of gain, expectation and happiness that parents should have. Therefore, paying attention to the common emotional and emotional problems of parents of special children at different stages of raising them is an effective way to help them find strength and personal meaning, and to assist the growth and development of special children. A survey on the emotional status of parents of special children found that parents of special children face different emotional problems and parenting difficulties at different stages, and need to provide them with guidance, help and advice from different aspects accordingly. Recommended parenting books: Preschool Developmental Psychology epub+mobi+azw3 Doubtful Stage: Avoid procrastination and actively face the common behavior of parents of special children at this stage, that is, when faced with a child who is \”different\” from other families, Although there have been suspicions and discoveries, they are often unwilling to face the reality, choose to avoid delay, and refuse to seek medical diagnosis. This behavior is largely due to the following three points: first, not paying enough attention and neglecting to observe, and not paying attention to abnormalities in the child\’s development speed and behavioral performance; second, knowing that the child has problems, but finding it difficult to accept bad diagnosis results , so they show an unwillingness to face the obvious illness; third, they care about the opinions of others and are afraid of being discriminated against. For most parents, admitting that their children are deficient in some way is tantamount to admitting that they will be in a miserable situation now and in the future. They will have to endure the sympathetic looks of others and become the talk of neighbors. But procrastination will only delay the best time for intervention, make the child\’s problems more complex and difficult to deal with, and cause parents to blame themselves more. Therefore, at this stage, parents’ positive attitude and scientific concepts are very important. Parents first need to refer to the child development manual from the time the child is born, pay attention to development details, and continue to observe and monitor the child\’s various physical indicators; if they suspect that the child is delayed in some aspects of development or has abnormal behavior, do not hide the illness or wait passively, and should take care of the child in time. Go to the hospital to seek confirmation and diagnosis from various sources to avoid misdiagnosis and delayed treatment; secondly, you must adjust and correct your mentality and actively face the current situation.In fact, don\’t be disturbed by unnecessary comments and looks from the outside world, otherwise the gain will outweigh the loss. Diagnosis stage: Reduce blame and learn to relax. After a child is diagnosed, parents often experience large emotional fluctuations and face a series of problems such as guilt, uneasiness, and mutual blame caused by blind attribution. Most parents get stuck in self-depleting and other-depleting blame or introspection of “why didn’t I find out sooner…” “why didn’t you know…”. If they cannot get out of the emotional whirlpool in time, on the one hand, this long-term sense of guilt will reduce the parents\’ sense of self-identity and put them on the edge of self-doubt and mental breakdown; on the other hand, parents will easily accommodate their children unconditionally out of compensation. , which is not conducive to cultivating children\’s sound personality. For families, in an environment that already carries huge pressure, if the haze of blame and guilt is further shrouded, it is easy to create gaps between family members, further widening and deepening the emotional gaps and rifts in the family. Faced with such emotional problems, parents can try to solve them from the following aspects. First of all, you must learn to relax yourself. No matter whether the child\’s defects are caused by congenital reasons or acquired faults, they are not intentional by the parents. When you fall into the mood of self-blame, you can use other ways to divert attention, such as running, singing, doing Adjust yourself by doing things you like; in addition, you must also loosen ties with your family members, try to avoid complaining to each other and shirk responsibilities, and strive to create a positive and pleasant family atmosphere; understand each other\’s difficulties, communicate more, and relieve psychological burdens; and then Carry out a reasonable division of family labor so that family members can work together to participate in the child\’s auxiliary treatment. Treatment stage: rational choice, facing reality The treatment and rehabilitation of special children is a long project. Every parent’s tolerance and threshold are different, and so are their choices. Some children have little effect after short-term treatment, and their parents choose to give up; some parents are so sick that they seek medical treatment and search for home remedies; some children have experienced long-term treatment, and although there is no obvious effect, their parents still insist on seeking medical treatment. No matter what they choose, parents of special children cannot avoid the psychological struggle of whether to \”persist\” or \”give up\” during the treatment stage. They often wander between the contradictory thoughts of \”love for the child\” and \”feeling it a burden\”, and feel that they are a burden. I feel ashamed when I have thoughts of \”giving up\” or \”escape\”. Faced with the choice, it is indeed not easy for these parents. First, parents should not give up easily. Parents should clearly understand their responsibilities and obligations to protect their children’s rights to survival and development, and provide special children with the best medical care services and professional rehabilitation treatment within their capabilities; in addition, there is no need to blindly persist. When long-term treatment has no effect and consumes too much manpower and material resources, even the basic needs of life cannot be met and the family cannot function normally, parents need to communicate with the doctor in a timely manner, unify opinions with the family, and then accept the reality and make timely adjustments or changes. Treatment programs. More importantly, on this road of recovery that is full of thorns, parents need to know how to care for themselves and be kind to themselves. They do not need to blame themselves for having thoughts such as \”wanting to give up\” or \”feeling burdened\”, and do not Because of exhaustionWhen you start to imagine another life and feel ashamed, this does not mean that you do not love your children or have no sense of responsibility. Parents should accept their own weaknesses and limitations as ordinary people, and also leave some space for their own ambivalence. At the same time, they should take care of their physical and mental health, and give themselves some time to relax or adjust. In families with special children, parents are like containers for fragile treasures. If the container is bumpy, broken, and fragile, the child\’s life will be even less able to carry it. Since you can\’t bypass the problems and challenges ahead, it\’s better to face reality head on and let your emotions become a good helper rather than a stumbling block on this thorny road.