Do old people always break children\’s rules? The whole family must read this shocking little story

Every mother worries about what to do if her children don\’t follow the rules. For example, what should I do if I always eat snacks? What should I do if I keep watching TV and refuse to turn it off? Let me share with you a magical example. When I was a student, I was dumbfounded. This example makes me believe that children are really not difficult to manage, and it is the adults who have the problem. As long as this guideline is followed, every child can successfully behave. As a teacher\’s assistant at the time, I witnessed a behavior modification session. In the consultation room, there was a pair of parents with an autistic son. They said that their son was unruly, always touching the switch, and could not sit still. They asked the teacher what to do. Let me explain a little bit what autism is: You can think of autism as a lower version of a normal child. Taking a mobile phone as an analogy, the memory of a normal child is 16G, while the memory of an autistic child is 256M. Or simply understand it this way: Autistic children are children with lower IQs and dumber than ordinary children. For example, the child who came for consultation is currently 4 and a half years old, and the teacher estimates that his development level is only 2 years old. If this autistic child can successfully obey the rules under the teacher\’s training, then it will be so easy for normal children to obey the rules. However, these are live demonstrations, and if the teacher fails, it will be a loss of dignity. I\’m worried about the teacher. Unexpectedly, a magical curtain slowly opened in front of my eyes. The teacher asked: How do you discipline me when I press the switch? My father said: Mom is usually in charge, but she is very arbitrary. If my mother gets strict, I\’ll hit her. If I\’m in a good mood, I\’ll relax and let him go. The teacher said: I understand. (At this time, the child began to touch the switch door in the consultation room again) The teacher said: From now on, you will hit your hand every time you touch the switch door. Every time, remember? Mom said: OK. The child touched the switch for the first time and started crying when he was beaten. The teacher was unmoved and continued to discuss autism consultation with the mother. Then he touched him again and his mother continued to spank his hand. The child cried loudly. You know, autistic children cry like ghosts, landslides and tsunamis, and are difficult to calm down. Because their self-control is much worse than ordinary children. The small consultation room echoed with the cry of the child. My stress level soared and I endured it silently. The child was still being touched for the third time, and the mother hesitated and relented. The teacher signaled: Keep playing. The mother continued cruelly, and the child cried out again at a high-decibel level that shook the earth. We stared blankly, not knowing when it would end. Then, the time comes to witness the miracle. The child has cried enough, stop crying. Next, he still liked to touch the concave and convex cartoon decorative pattern next to the switch, but his fingers simply skipped the switch and avoided touching it. It was really magical. A child with an intellectual level of only 2 years old successfully established the rules in only 3 times. There were still tears on the child\’s face, but the autistic parents cried with joy and hurriedly thanked him. Dear friends who read the article, you should know: It’s not that they don’t feel sorry for their children, but that children with autism need to develop a rule and have to go back and forth at least hundreds of times. Many children may even be unable to behave themselves throughout their lives. Many families just have no choice but to let it go. You can think of autistic children as the hell version of hard mode parenting, and ordinary children as easy mode. Even autistic children canSet the rules within 5 times. If a normal child fails to set the rules, there is only one reason: the parent\’s laissez-faire. Then, I still remember what the teacher said to us. \”Crying\” is the only way for every child to establish rules! You don\’t have to sympathize with him at all. Because by crying at this time, he is testing your reaction. If you waver even a little bit, your children will find your weaknesses and go around with you many times to successfully break your rules. Then he won, and he could get away with it again and again. When setting rules, you need to think about it from the beginning: how you did it the first time should be done from the beginning to the end. Just one exception and your previous rules are in vain and you have to start from scratch! At the beginning, I said I couldn’t have snacks, but I insisted not to give them any snacks every time. At the beginning, he said that he was not allowed to hit people, but he insisted on using the same method to stop him every time. From the beginning, it was said that you can only play after finishing your homework, and you are not allowed to leave the study table with any excuse. Once there is an exception and the child succeeds, all your previous efforts will be in vain. Some people say: Well, I have set the rules, but what if the old man comes to disrupt it? Okay, Maodou Mom will tell you the second way. Why can\’t old people interfere with the rules? It’s important to say it three times: there can only be one rule-maker in an environment! There can only be one rule maker in an environment! There can only be one rule maker in an environment! At home, this rule maker must not be an old man! Not an old man! Not an old man! But the child’s mother/father. Children raised across generations are more likely to follow the rules poorly and are very arbitrary. That\’s because mom sets one rule and the old man sets another. The child first looks at the old man\’s face before breaking the rules. If the old man relaxes a little, the child will take advantage of it. Never underestimate the cunning and intelligence of children. At the age of 3, Edamame would lie and say that he ate chocolate because he was hungry, which did not fall into the category of random snacking. Let me tell you a little trick: How to tell who in the family is causing trouble for your child to break the rules? Just look at whose face the child is the first to act when he or she doesn\’t want to obey the rules. That person must have been more roundabout with the child, sometimes breaking the rules, unable to stop the child from grinding, and letting the child succeed. Uh-huh, 99.99% of children look at the old man first. There is only one rule-maker in a family, and the child has a natural close attachment relationship with the mother, so the person who sets the rules must be the mother. The elderly must cooperate. Many elderly people feel that they have contributed money to buy a house for their son and take care of their children, and they have done a lot of hard work, so they feel that they should be the one to set the rules for raising their children. However, if the elderly really want to raise their children well, they must withdraw from making rules. Otherwise, mother\’s rules will always be \”of no use\”. I hope everyone can forward this article to the elderly to read: the elderly must exit gracefully in terms of rules. Not letting you, the old man, set the rules is not disrespectful to you, but it is for the long-term good of the children. Sit down and have a serious talk with the old man and ask him to stop making trouble. If the old man remains the same as before, or simply feels that mother\’s rules are wrong, then no one can do anything about it. Education experts and upright officials alike find it difficult to interrupt household chores! (There should be helpless expressions here.jpg) Your lifeYou decide for yourself, there are three choices: 1. Either endure the consequences of bad children\’s rules; 2. Either increase your emotional intelligence and gain power and let the elderly listen to you; 3. Or take care of the children yourself and let the elderly return to their hometown. Anyway, the principle tells you: there must be only one maker of an environment, and one rule cannot accommodate two tigers. Anyway, I’ve told you the principle: the rules must be consistent. You can’t give someone a slap in the face if you behave like this today, and give you a jujube if you behave like this again the day after tomorrow. Of course, it is also okay for the mother to take care of the elderly when she goes to work during the day, and to take care of them when she comes home at night. It is OK to let the children know that it is not feasible for the elderly to take advantage of the opportunity. Is the above difficult? Let’s be honest: it’s hard. Many Mother Mothers say: Oh my, I can’t stand my children crying, I love children! Therefore, naughty children are rampant everywhere, and well-educated and self-controlled children are rare. If you really love your child, let him cry in front of the rules and know that your bottom line cannot be crossed. When he grows up and enters the society, he will be deeply grateful to you as a wise mother. Love is easy. Is not it? Animal instinct. Even the old hen will protect her chicks, okay? But the word \”rules\” is a higher level of love! Only this kind of love can make the child\’s future smooth sailing.