Do people whose children’s rooms are messy have higher IQs? The truth hurts

Yesterday at noon, I made a meal and asked my son to eat it, but there was no response for a long time. I remembered that sentence, \”The baby is so quiet, he must be acting like a monster.\” So I secretly went over and took a look, and I saw that he was playing with toys, and he was engrossed in it. But the situation around him was a bit miserable. Various large and small building blocks are scattered on the ground, books have become toys, tape and white paper are mixed among them, and various colored pens are everywhere. And he, sitting on the ground like that, immersed himself in it, did not hear my affectionate call at all. For a nervous old mother, such chaos has long been commonplace. Occasionally I feel guilty when I see other people\’s homes being clean and orderly, but I really can\’t do it if I want it to be spotless every day. A few days ago, I discussed with my son how about putting all his books in the bookcase. He immediately refused: That won\’t work. If I put them all in the bookcase, I won\’t feel the call of books. Indeed, I did a rough calculation and found that compared to the books in the bookcase, the books scattered everywhere are opened much more frequently every day. He often sits on the sofa and casually takes out a book and reads it without any supervision or guidance. Because since he was a child, his books and toys have been mixed together. For him, books are also another kind of toy. Because of this, our home often looks messy, but we enjoy it, and our children obviously enjoy it even more. Some people say that families with messy rooms cannot raise promising children. In our traditional concept, if you can sweep a house, you can sweep the world. But everything has its pros and cons. A neat and tidy room is of course pleasing to the eye, but if you really can\’t do it, it\’s okay to be a little messy. The Benefits of a Messy Room Education expert Yin Jianli once mentioned in a book that in order to satisfy her daughter\’s desire to graffiti, she and her husband set aside a wall for her daughter to paint freely. As my daughter draws more and more paintings, the colors on the walls become richer and richer. Relatives and friends found it incredible when they saw it, but Yin Jianli said that it was an art wall full of beauty. Those seemingly unorganized daubs are actually expressions of children activating their inner creative switch. This is a state that no teacher can teach and no technique can achieve. What\’s more, a wall with rich colors can also cultivate children\’s aesthetics and bring different visual enjoyment. In addition to being good for imagination, a messy environment also promotes creativity. Kathleen D. Vohs of the University of Minnesota and her colleagues once conducted an experiment in which subjects were asked to complete a series of tests in two different rooms. One room was neat and orderly, while the other was messy. The test content was mostly Creative questions, including acceptance of new things, etc. The experimental results show that in a tidy environment, people\’s behavior is friendlier and more controlled, while in a messy environment, people are more creative and more inclined to make new attempts. In this regard, Dr. Vohs said that a chaotic environment is enlightening, allowing people to break away from the shackles of tradition and develop new insights. If you want your children to have a sense of order, then keep a clean and tidy environment; if you want your children to \”deviate from the ordinary\”, there is nothing wrong with the room being a little messy. A messy room ≠ a dirty room A room can be messy, butParents need to note that a messy room does not mean a dirty room. There is a clear boundary between the two. The prerequisite for a messy room is that it is clean. The items can be placed irregularly, but there should be no dust or dirt. If the room is dirty, it will not only affect people\’s comfort, reduce the child\’s resistance, but also seriously affect the child\’s future life. . My former roommate Xiaoqian was well dressed and looked like a very clean girl. But her bed was hard to look at, with quilts, clothes, and skin care products all piled up in a mess. We all laughed at her and said that even when sleeping at night, she had to pull out a \”nest\” and put herself in it. In the few years I was with her, she only swept the floor a handful of times, and would rather walk around dirty places than sweep them. A few years ago, \”the dirtiest girls\’ dormitory in history\” was exposed on the Internet. Many netizens saw it and said that it is not called a dormitory, it is simply a garbage dump! The person who took the photo was still able to live in it, and his tolerance was very high. Last year, a British man posted a set of photos online to \”accuse\” his weird tenants. It turned out that he rented the house to a couple with three children, but the couple often defaulted on the rent and later \”disappeared\”. The man came to his house and was shocked by what he saw: the house was strewn with dog feces, piles of rubbish, and a mess. The man said, \”I can\’t understand their behavior. They have three children!\” With such parents, what will the three children learn? Parental laziness and lack of education can ruin a child. The pursuit of cleanliness should not be at the expense of restricting children. I once saw such a scene at a friend\’s house: a two-year-old child kept running around and soon threw toys everywhere. Even the toilet paper at home could not be used. The person who survived was torn into pieces by him. Even the adult\’s shoes were in his way and had to be moved to another place. Within a few minutes, the house looked like a disaster scene. My friend couldn\’t stand it anymore, so he pulled the child over and gave him a slap. \”Can\’t you be more honest? How many times have I told you, I have to clean up the mess you made!\” The child cried loudly, but after a few minutes, he kept throwing it away again. The friend said helplessly, \”I am really tiring him out. He has to clean constantly every day and he is very irritated.\” In fact, this is a normal phenomenon for a two or three-year-old child. Throwing things, tearing paper, and making a mess at home are all part of a child\’s exploration process. Children at this time are curious about everything around them. They want to explore, experience, and try it themselves. These are all processes that they must go through. What we have to do is not to restrict, blame and beat, but to guide, encourage and support. In a sense, giving children a somewhat chaotic environment actually gives them freedom. If a child even wrinkles the sofa towel, he will be scolded; if he tears the paper into strips and throws them all over the floor, he will be beaten; if he takes apart the toys and puts them back together, he will be put back together and takes them apart again, and he will be labeled \” \”Destroying\” and \”not cherishing\” labels, then what the children feel at home can only be restriction and depression. As Yin Jianli said, a seemingly spotless and well-organized personHome, the cost of maintaining it is that children lose their freedom and relaxation. When the child grows up a few years later, he may no longer remember the reprimands and restraints of his parents, but in his heart, he cannot get rid of the constraints. His life has lost its vitality and vitality, leaving only lifeless rules and obedience. And this is probably not what we want our children to be. A child\’s childhood should be unrestrained. If we have to be careful at all times in our own home for fear of damaging anything, then as parents we should reflect on whether we are too strict. If you don’t like the room to be too messy and don’t want to restrict your child’s free exploration, it is recommended to set aside a special area as a child’s play area. In this area, the child can completely relax and \”he has the final say on his territory.\” Parents only need to guide him to keep it clean. Some people say that after having children, the workload of housework increases several times. Indeed, many mothers face countless housework every day and are exhausted mentally and physically, which affects themselves and their families. In fact, we can let go of the tendency of perfectionism. If you can keep it clean and tidy, that\’s great. If you can\’t, don\’t force yourself and your children. Whether the room is tidy or messy is closely related to the family\’s personality and living habits. As long as the whole family feels warm and comfortable, it will be fine. After all, home is a place where you feel comfortable.