Do you have any \”Buddhist\” children at home who are not interested in doing anything? Parents need to be vigilant!

Recently, various \”Buddhist\” groups are popular on the Internet. What is \”Buddhism\”? It roughly means being calm and having no desires or desires. I smiled silly while reading various articles about \”Buddhism\” on the Internet. But when he turned around, he saw that the girl was standing at the door of the study, \”stealing\” at her brother\’s cartoons. After she entered elementary school, I began to set rules for her to watch TV. But now in fourth grade, she still often ignores this rule and needs me to remind her every time – I said it, and she walked away slowly. After a while, he stood next to the computer on the pretext of picking up something, and told her to leave. Without telling her, he came again, and she got angry and ran away. Not only that, when I talk to her about anything, she always looks calm. For example, on the way home from school, chat with her about school, ask her how her food was, and whether she had anything happy today. She always said with drooped eyelids, \”That\’s it, it\’s okay.\” Ask her what she wants to eat tonight, and she usually gets the word \”whatever.\” The school now has various extracurricular activities. I often hear a parent in the parent group ask if any of their children have participated in any activities, so I know about these activities, and ask the girl, \”Why don\’t you participate?\” She just said indifferently, \”It\’s boring.\” The girl\’s state is particularly that of a \”Buddhist\” child. She doesn\’t care about anything and can do whatever she wants. She doesn\’t seem to be interested in anything. When did the girl start to become like this? I remember that when she was in second grade, she participated in various school activities. On the weekends, I watched entertainment programs with my girl and chatted for a while. I asked her why she didn\’t participate in those activities. She glanced at me and said: \”Once I was going to participate in the parent-child model. You said I was short and couldn\’t walk out. It looks good.\” I remembered that time, the school held a parent-child catwalk event. At that time, Erbao was ill and I was very busy. I had no time to practice this with her, so I said casually: \”You are not tall, so you are not very suitable to participate in this activity.\” But I did not expect that this sentence , had such a big impact on children. The indifferent attitude of \”Buddhist\” children also reflects some of their psychological problems. Because you are worried that you are not doing well enough and cannot achieve the desired results or the requirements of others, even if you recognize and accept something in your heart, you will still reject it in your behavior and respond with an attitude of indifference, neglect, or even avoidance. They use \”indifferent\” as a mask, acting as a \”marginal person\” and giving people the feeling that it has nothing to do with them. In fact, it is just to prevent others from seeing their inferiority complex. Just like my girl, she originally wanted to participate in the catwalk event, but as soon as I told her that she was short and her walking skills were not good, she agreed with me and thought that she really couldn\’t achieve that effect. Later, the teacher asked her why. She pretended not to care and said, \”I don\’t want to participate.\” By this time, she was already wearing a mask of \”it doesn\’t matter\” and began to escape. There are several reasons why children have \”it doesn\’t matter\” thoughts and become \”Buddhist\” people. ① Personal factors: Due to the child’s own limited ability, he cannot withstand criticism from others when it comes to some matters in study and life.. Once your full confidence is knocked down, you will start to lose your energy for anything. There is a child next door who writes left-handedly. The classmates in the class were all envious of him because he could write so well with his left hand, but his family didn\’t think so and they have been working hard to change his writing habits. Because the words written with his right hand were crooked and unattractive, he began to lose interest in doing homework and procrastinated, and the positive attitude he had in doing homework in the past no longer existed. ② Family factors Today’s parents have too high demands on their children and place too many hopes on their children. Once their children fail to meet their expected requirements, they will constantly blame them. Because they receive too much disapproval from their parents, children develop low self-esteem, depression and anxiety. In addition, parents always intervene too much in their children\’s lives, leaving their children at a loss and can only respond with a \”just be happy with it\” attitude. These \”Buddhist\” behaviors make it difficult for children to establish goals and lack perseverance. They often adopt a passive, blind, passive and coping approach in learning and life. They will give up when they encounter a little hardship. Over time, they will become withdrawn and have low self-esteem. Therefore, parents should take some measures to deal with these \”Buddhist\” behaviors of their children. Establish clear goals. There is a saying that goes, \”You always have to have dreams, just in case you realize them.\” Not because it is easy to realize your dream, but because you have a dream, you have greater motivation. Therefore, a clear goal will mobilize children\’s enthusiasm and help them get rid of their \”it doesn\’t matter\” attitude. The goal does not need to be too big, it can be done step by step, so that children can see the dawn and victory, which will help increase their self-confidence. My friend\’s daughter is ten years old this year. She is very interested in painting, but has no talent. When she signed up for a painting class, she started to get discouraged when she saw that the children younger than her were all very good at painting. Fortunately, my friend is very supportive of my daughter and tells her that she will set a small goal for herself for one week. For example, she will learn to follow the line this week and learn to change colors next week… Every time she achieves a goal, the child will gain more confidence. This small step of progress is the best effort for the big goal. Later, my friend’s daughter not only caught up with the painting progress of children of the same age, but also won several awards for her paintings. Last time, a friend\’s house was renovated and he invited this child to paint the walls, and she agreed immediately. Moreover, the painting was very good and won praise from everyone. Refuse to \”underestimate\” your child\’s ability. After a child fails to do something, some parents will adopt a comfort mode, which is to let the child accept his fate. For example, if the child fails to do well in an exam, the parent may say, \”It\’s not your fault. It\’s because the test paper is too difficult.\” This kind of behavior of underestimating children\’s abilities will give children a wrong understanding: It\’s not that I didn\’t do things well, but that the \”objective\” facts are too difficult. If children do not do something well enough, parents can understand and accept them, and tell them that failure to do well is due to lack of effort and other factors they can control. This will help maintain children\’s learning attitudes and motivation towards a positive future. Change of direction. Discover your child’s strengths and interests. When you discover that your child is interested in everything,When there is no interest or indifference, parents can take one step: discover their children\’s strengths, clearly tell them their own strengths, and praise and encourage them. This will help children regain their confidence and self-esteem. There was a child who liked to hit people, so few children were willing to play with him. Even so, he would destroy other children\’s toys every time, causing everyone to be even more angry. A mother of a child took the initiative to let her child play with him, and praised him for playing a spinning top very well. After receiving the praise, this hitting kid immediately took out his spinning top and performed for everyone all afternoon. During this period, the child not only did not beat the children, but also taught a little brother how to play with a top. Because of the praise, the child\’s self-esteem and self-confidence have been maintained, and the child\’s mentality has changed. From the attitude that it didn\’t matter if he hit the child, he has become a gregarious child, which is really touching. The indifference of \”Buddhist\” children should arouse sufficient vigilance among parents. They should not only avoid methods that may cause their children\’s \”indifferent\” attitude, but also take active \”treatment\” measures after discovering their children\’s \”indifferent\” attitude. \”Buddhism\” is not transcendence, but a kind of helplessness. \”Buddhist\” children need more care from their parents.