Do you really know the importance of parents accompanying their children?

Every time I publish an article asking parents to spend more time with their children, parents always have different opinions, and there will also be some objections: Parent A: If I pick up the bricks, I can\’t hold my children, and if I put down the bricks, I can\’t raise my children. Parent B: I am always with my children, where do I get the money to support them? Parent C: I don’t have money. Can you give your child what he wants? Parent D: We accompany him every day, but his child is still naughty and difficult to control. An education expert said this: \”Most children in China are orphans with parents. Although their parents are with them, they do not convey the positive energy of inner psychological support.\” How do we accompany our children? Take your children to a playground and let them play by themselves, find friends to play with, or play with themselves, while their parents are focused on their phones and seem to have completely forgotten their children; participate in some parent-child activities to let their children interact with others. The children played with the children, or let the children work on some novel small projects alone, while the parents were busy answering the phone, arranging work, etc., so busy that the children did not dare to disturb them; after the children\’s entanglement and pleading, they finally agreed to watch a cartoon with them. The child is excited and happy, but after less than ten minutes, the parents are either impatient or fall asleep next to the child; they call it \”accompanying the child\” without going out, but call a group of friends to play mahjong while talking to the child : \”Why don\’t you hurry up and study and read.\” Before going to bed, the child repeatedly asks his parents to tell him a story, and the parents will yell and complain: I have been busy all day, how can I have the strength to tell you a story? Hurry up and go to sleep. Then he turned sideways and browsed his mobile phone, and the child fell asleep. Even if he really accompanied his child to do homework, it was full of gunpowder, either criticizing or criticizing… A mother once complained to me on WeChat: She said that her five-year-old son was very angry. He is naughty, loves to play tricks, loses his temper, is domineering and unreasonable, and has more problems than a left-behind child, but his parents are clearly by his side and never leave his side. He gets whatever he wants. He has his own iPad when he is only five years old. His grandparents also treat him as a treasure in their hands. They love him so much that they love him so much. He should be a very happy child, but why is the child still giving in like this? Headache? I asked: \”Then how do you and the child\’s father get along with the child?\” The mother said: \”The child doesn\’t understand anything, just give him toys, give him food, drink and fun, and have an old man watch over him, that\’s it. , how can we get along with each other? We have to go to work, and we are very tired when we get home. The child can play beside his parents, and he should be content.\” I suddenly understood why her son was like this. This child has a bad temper and loves to play tricks. , domineering and unreasonable, all just to attract parents\’ attention. The children\’s parents do not give their children real companionship, so even if the children are with their parents every day, they are still lonely. Maybe many parents don\’t know that many children seem to be smiling and happy, without the pain of being left behind or the lack of material things. But he is extremely \”lonely\” and \”anxious\” because although his parents are around, he still lacks companionship, attention and love. Our companionship only ensures the child\’s safety, provides the child with food and drink, and drives away the child\’s aggravation and dependence. These are not the companionships a child wants. collection! How to accompany your children to grow upThe full download of 108 compulsory courses accompanies us, not accompanying us, not guarding us, not materially satisfying us, let alone preaching and supervising. What is companionship? Accompanying means wholeheartedly integrating into the child\’s inner world; accompanying means sincere acceptance and appreciation; accompanying means giving the child a sense of security and positive energy; accompanying means building a bridge of communication with the child and listening attentively to the world of the child. Happiness, sadness, distress and confusion… There have been surveys that found that many drug addicts, criminals, or delinquent youths are closely related to the lack of education and companionship in childhood, and many of these people are the second generation of rich people, the second generation of officials, and the second generation of stars. Many people may think that these people are born in blessings and do not know how to be blessed. They have a unique family environment and a platform that others only dream of. How could they allow themselves to become addicts who have no knowledge, no real work, and only know how to squander money? King or criminal? However, we have all ignored the truth covered by the facts. These children only have superficial flashiness, and they grow up with too much loneliness and uneasiness. All their subsequent indulgences and self-destruction are traceable, and the key to this consequence is the lack of parental companionship and care since childhood. A well-known celebrity second-generation drug addict once wrote in childish words in his diary when he was a child: \”My biggest wish is that my father can pick me up from school.\” He also said lonely in front of the media: \”I am the one in my father\’s back. Man, there is no figure of my father in my memory, not even his back.\” Everyone in this world may not care about other people\’s opinions, but they must long for the company and recognition of their parents. Therefore, a child will not care about how dazzling his parents are or how much money they make, but will only care about how much companionship and happiness their parents give him. I will only remember: the ordinary road that my parents took me to school; all the beautiful scenery and delicious food on the journey with my parents; my parents’ care by their side when I was sick; my parents’ joy by their side when I was happy; and my parents’ support when I achieved success. Hence the proud smile. These are all the happiness of a child. Without these happiness, the children will most likely grow up to be like those rich second generation and celebrity second generation who have gone astray. Even though they have great wealth, they are still depressed and self-defeating, leaving irreparable shortcomings in their lives. Harvard psychologist Catherine Steiner Adair suggests that during these critical times, parents should put down their phones, put down their work, and spend time with their children. 1. On the way to school 2. When picking up the child from school 3. When the child comes home from school 4. When the parents come home from get off work 5. Dinner time 6. Bedtime So, how to accompany you? 1. Eliminate accusations and urging. Some parents are always picky about their children, complaining that their children throw away clothes and toys, and are not active in learning. They wish that their children could be like sculptures, so they hold a book and read it 24 hours a day. There are also parents who are always very anxious and cannot bear to see their children relax for a short while. After watching less than half an hour of TV, they roar: Why don’t you study? Use this time of picking and scolding to play or communicate with your children in a relaxed and happy way, or watch TV or read books, etc.good. 2. Get something done with your children. Many children are only children, lack childhood friends, and feel lonely inside. Therefore, children really like to be with their parents. No matter what they do, as long as they are with their parents, the children are happy. It is recommended that parents use their time together to do something with their children. Such as reading a book together, baking food, making handicrafts, painting, cooking, etc. Although sometimes the children will not help, the children enjoy these parent-child time, don\’t they? Parents are their children\’s first teachers, and parents can communicate with their children through Spend time together, learn the principles of life together, and teach children to learn to be grateful and learn interpersonal communication. 3. Be more encouraging and patient. Nowadays, society is under great pressure, and many parents are basically busy from Monday to Friday. After get off work, on weekends or during holidays, it is a rare time for parents and children to interact, so please put aside your worries, give your children more patience and smiles, understand your children\’s study and life attentively, and affirm and encourage your children in a timely manner. Satisfy the children\’s small wishes, such as where they want to play, what they want to eat, what they want to watch on TV; and also let the children help with some housework. These stress-free interactions will be a good parent-child interaction. 4. Listen sincerely and attentively. Many children will use their evening time to tell their parents about new things at school, and they will also ask their parents all kinds of strange questions. Faced with children\’s thirsty eyes, parents should not be perfunctory. They should listen carefully to what their children say, discuss the answers to questions with them, cultivate their children\’s thinking ability, and do not undermine their children\’s self-confidence. 5. Don’t forget to watch TV with your children. It is a common phenomenon in many families for children to sit alone on the sofa and watch TV. When parents have free time, don’t forget to watch TV with their children and guide them to watch meaningful TV programs in a timely manner. Proper guidance will be the key to the development of children\’s interests. For example, \”Peppa Pig\” has positive educational significance for children\’s growth, and timely answers to children\’s questions while watching TV will also be very helpful to children. A good way of memorizing and teaching. When our children grow up to 10, 15, or 18 years old, you will find that they gradually need more and more space of their own: they no longer \”entangle you\” with their babbling; they no longer stay in your arms all the time. He will act coquettishly and beg for a hug; he will no longer be \”unreasonable\” to attract your attention; he will no longer need you to tell him stories to accompany him to sleep; he will no longer need you to hold his little hand and send him to school… You will eventually find that in your child, many things are the same as yours. The most intimate time, once missed, can never be returned. Spend more time focusing on spending time with your children. No matter how much material or money you have, they cannot replace the company of your parents. Stop using busy work as an excuse, stop using money and material things as excuses, and stop looking at your mobile phone infatuated… Only the growth of a child can depend on it. If you miss it once, there will be no chance to do it again. Please cherish every moment you spend with your children as they grow up. Don’t let the word companionship become your regret in the future and your children’s pain when they grow up.