Do you want your child to succeed, or do you want to accompany him or her to grow up?

A few days ago, Mr. Zhe cooperated in completing the teacher\’s homework after every English class. He usually practiced three or two words and three or two phrases. Because I have been mute in English since elementary school, my father usually does the pronunciation teaching. One day, classmate Zhe suddenly asked me: \”Mom, why don\’t you do your homework with me?\” I was at a loss for words. Yeah, why don\’t I do my homework with him? Being shy to speak, lazy to learn, and anxious about change are the fundamental reasons. And because of my own lack of spoken English, I hope that Mr. Zhe can sharpen his ears from a young age so that he will not have difficulty speaking after school. Throughout the whole process, I just asked him to do what he wanted without examining whether I had the enthusiasm to study with him. In many aspects, I consider myself a learning mother, but in English, I dare not speak. Because my baby’s father once said: “As soon as you open your mouth, I will laugh.” Indeed, my English pronunciation with Chinese pinyin makes me feel ashamed even listening to it. But all shortcomings must be dealt with carefully. Under the introduction of a friend, I joined a platform to learn spoken English. The purpose of that platform is for mothers and babies to learn together – the mother remains enthusiastic and often uses daily language at home, and the children will learn it subconsciously, and they will naturally be exposed to more. Moreover, when children feel that their mother is \”with them,\” they are more likely to persevere. I met a mother who is 1.63 meters tall and weighs nearly 135 pounds. She usually likes to eat high-fat and high-calorie foods such as pizza, burgers or braised pork. Influenced by her mother, her daughter already liked fast food when she was 3 years old. She was chubby and cute. However, every time she had a physical examination, she was reminded by the doctor that she was too overweight. Obesity in children when they grow up is often caused by their eating habits in childhood. For the health of her child, the mother decided to control her diet first, formulated a relatively healthy diet plan, and signed up for swimming classes and supplemented with exercise. As her daily behavior changed, the child\’s eating habits also became healthier. The swimming event she chose also made her child fall in love with water play. Although she is too young to learn standard swimming postures now, she can already play well with a swimming ring on her own. One summer, in less than 3 months, she lost 102 pounds; her daughter\’s weight also changed from overweight to above average. After successfully losing weight, in order to seize the sensitive period of their children learning language, she and her husband decided not to watch TV series or movies in front of their children. They spent half an hour of video time every day, either playing English children\’s songs or original cartoons. When talking at home, try to use brief English. Now, when a child walks on the street, he will say \”gate\” when he sees a door, and \”door\” when he sees a house door. His mother can fully understand what he says in English about eating, dressing, taking off shoes, paying attention, etc. She said: \”Perhaps one day, I still can\’t keep up with my children\’s learning speed, but at least I have to keep trying to keep up, so that when the generation gap comes, I won\’t indiscriminately say, \’My children are too disobedient. \’.\” Yes, when the children are still small, we have to squat down and see the world with them; when they grow up, we have to run all the way, try to catch up with their footsteps, and strive to be friends with them. As parents, we oftenAlways put your best expectations on your children. Children who cannot swim hope that they can learn to swim as soon as possible; mothers who are unable to learn dance as a child send their children to dance training when they are three or four years old; children who were often bullied when they were children pay attention to Sanda or Taekwondo training classes, hoping that their children can learn self-defense skills… …What’s more, they even think that children should be able to master all kinds of weapons. Such expectations, if the children cooperate from the heart, are certainly correct. But the reality is often that parents have a lot of expectations for their children, but they are “just fine” for their own life or personal growth, or they think “that’s how it will be for the rest of my life anyway.” Parents who have this kind of thinking often encounter greater resistance in the process of raising their children; while those parents who have the concept of \”advance and retreat with their children\” can often achieve better results. In a group I belong to, there is a boy in his 1990s, let’s call him M. He is funny, humorous, open-minded, enthusiastic, and often has witty remarks. His understanding of life is much higher than that of his peers. Before he told me his actual age, I always thought he was in his 80s. The more we chatted, the better I got to know him, and I began to get sporadic information about his mother. For example, his mother is 51 years old this year. She can surf the Internet, chat on WeChat, Photoshop photos, and download movies by herself. What\’s even worse is that she and her son also learned to read foreign websites and follow public accounts on WeChat, breaking away from the health and wellness world. They often forwarded Mimeng\’s explosive articles, and also judged the fashion trends of the year based on Shiliupo\’s reports… I said: \”M, you are so lucky to have such a mother who is always with you.\” M replied: \”Everyone around me says so. In fact, what\’s even better about my mother is her open-mindedness – when I was going to Beijing to study as a When looking at universities that look bad to outsiders, she said there are no bad schools, only people who are unwilling to study. When I wanted to leave Hunan to work in Shanghai, my mother said go ahead. You should see the bigger world when you are young. When I expressed my desire to I\’m dating a girl from a remote county. My mother said that as long as you two are in sync with each other, I have no problem with it. When I was a child, I learned electronic keyboards, and she listened to the teacher\’s lectures with me and practiced with me after class; I learned classical Chinese, and she bought it. She recited double textbooks with me, sometimes even faster than I could memorize… What she often said was, \’I don\’t want you to say a noun, I don\’t understand what it means at all\’. She and I, More often than not, she is like a close friend.\” To say that a mother is like a close friend is the highest compliment a child can give to his mother, right? Parents who love sports will naturally take their children to sports venues often, and the children will be influenced by it. Even if their sports skills are not necessarily better than their parents\’, they will naturally not resist sports. If there are mothers who can draw, even if their children have no talent for painting, they will be interested in painting. The perception must be deeper than that of ordinary children; parents who love to play chess may know all the chess pieces at a very young age. Even if it does not develop into a hobby, they must learn a thing or two from what they see every day; parents cannot control their own weight and cannot resist it. The temptation of delicious food, but they feel that the child is too fat all day long, and want to help the child control the weight by controlling diet, the outcome can be imagined; if the parents themselves are particularly homely, it is not surprising that when the child enters school, it will be delayed in sports… The children are still young, we can just ask them to do a quickHowever, when they enter kindergarten, primary school, or junior high school, they will involuntarily enter the \”competition mode\” and parents will be swept into becoming \”comparative parents.\” Of course, we must guide the children to stay calm and let them know that their grades are not The only measure of his ability. But if you try your best to avoid regrets, you must let them understand it as soon as possible. Life should originally be a process of constantly surpassing oneself. If the child is willing to be the person who sits on the roadside and claps, and will not be disappointed because others run faster, I will naturally be happy; but if the child is willing to move forward with the hope of his parents, we will run with them, far better than him alone. People\’s efforts are effective and enjoyable.