Does someone else’s child have something to do with me?

◆ ◆ ◆01 When I talk about other people’s children, I feel hatred in my heart, not hatred, but resentment. Whether other people\’s children are good or bad has nothing to do with me. I am me, and my children and I are unique. When I was a child, my father didn\’t know how to motivate me to make progress and work hard, so he would let me see how so and so in other people\’s families were. If I got 90 points in the test, he would say, 90 points in the test is not considered good. Look at others who can get 100 points in the test. Anyway, there is always someone better than me. I think the comments given by several head teachers when I was young were that I had a strong self-esteem, which probably has something to do with this. I didn\’t get the prizes given to others, so I would secretly hide and feel sad. Slowly, I became very disgusted. Why do I always have to compare myself with others? Do I have my own personality? Of course, I don\’t blame my father. I know that he just hopes that I can be better, but he can\’t find a better way to encourage me. He just thinks that comparison and competition can stimulate people\’s motivation and potential. But this seems to have sequelae. After getting married, as soon as my husband tells me that no matter what other people’s families are like, I will kill him with one sentence: If someone else’s family is good, go find someone else’s family. You are not Xi Jinping, why should you ask me to be Peng Liyuan? ? The atmosphere immediately became unharmonious. I know that he wants me to learn from others. But you can say, who has a good way of doing it, can we do it that way? Or, who can be so successful, how much effort he put in, and how he did it, can we try it too. How else to call it effective communication? If you want to say what others do, why can\’t you? I\’m sorry, I\’m not someone else. So after I had my child, I was very careful and never compared him with others. For example, my son crawled for a long time, probably more than half a year, and could not walk independently until he was almost 16 months old. I always believe that he has his own time, and walking is a natural development law and does not need to be taught. By comparison, he walks later than the average child, which makes me extremely anxious. ◆ ◆ ◆02 My son is over two years old. His personality is either stubborn or stubborn. He doesn’t want to do things that you can’t pull with nine oxen. You can’t reason with him about what he wants to do. If you try hard to stop him, he will try again and again. What should you do if he has the tenacity to not give up until he achieves his goal? I have found that giving positive encouragement and education on behavioral consequences is very effective. Let him know that he is needed and he will feel a sense of accomplishment. One time, he squatted for too long and his feet were numb when he got up. He was very scared and cried loudly. He probably thought he couldn\’t walk. I slowly hugged him and asked him if he could walk because of his numbness after squatting for too long. Moved? It\’s okay. Mom is here. Don\’t be afraid. Come on, mom will help you over. After a while, he walked slowly for a few steps. Okay, um, he understood. He helped his mother and walked slowly for a few steps and everything was fine. Next, if I squat for a long time by myself, I will say, Ouch, my mother’s feet are numb, baby, please help me up, please? He ran over very happily, and took me with his little hand to sit on the sofa. I said, it’s great to have a son, thank you. Later, whenever I complained that my feet were numb, he was so excited that he immediately ran over happily to help me up and find a place to sit. We must not underestimate a child\’s ability to understand, and do not speak if we think he does not understand. Eat normally, littleMy friend saw that the food we were eating was not in his bowl. He couldn\’t accept this. He told him many times that you can\’t eat this spicy food. No matter, if you don\’t give it to me, I will climb up the table and get it myself. Okay, give him a bite of the chili. After tasting it, wow, it was so spicy that it brought tears to my eyes. From then on, whenever I saw chili in the dish, I would ask him if he wanted to eat it, and he would not eat it. There are many words to say, but it is better to give it a try. When there are no dangerous consequences, try to let him try it by himself, so as to improve his memory. I want to say that everyone is a unique existence, and happiness and success must not come from comparison. We must first learn to respect and respect his differences. Doudehui said: Everyone doesn’t like to be compared with others. When you are a child, you don’t want to be compared with other children by your parents. When you are a wife, you don’t like to be compared with your husband. Compare other women. In the same way, don\’t compare your children, discover the child\’s strengths, make up for the child\’s shortcomings, and respect his differences. Text | Liao Runjuan