Does your child hit others at home? Maybe you did something wrong

Doudou\’s mother was very distressed some time ago. She said that the 2-year-old little Doudou was lively and cute, but he had a problem that was difficult to change despite repeated education, that is, he loved to hit others. Anyone? No, only to family members. They would attack if they disagreed. Sometimes, even if they were having a good time, they would come over with a playful smile and slap them in the face. Pulling hair, pinching arms, scratching face, these are Doudou\’s common methods. As she gets older, Doudou\’s little hands are getting stronger and stronger. In addition, the child is neither light nor heavy, so it really hurts to be hit by him. Doudou’s mother said that one time I was scratched so long that I couldn’t hide it even after applying several layers of foundation. My colleagues all jokingly asked me if I had been “domestic-violated”… This young master of mine, it’s going to be terrible if this goes on. What should I do? Isn’t he becoming a violent little devil? Regarding the fact that children hit others at home, I have two suggestions for Doudou’s mother: First, understand the child’s behavior. Children of a certain age do not yet have the ability to express emotions appropriately, and often hit others as a way to vent their emotions. It may be anger, it may be for fun, or it may just be to attract attention. Second, we must not let it go. To make children realize that hitting is bad behavior, parents should adhere to the principle of gentleness and firmness in dealing with this matter, and pay attention to the way of guidance. At the end of the conversation, I told Doudou’s mother a guidance method I had used on Liuliu and asked her to go home and try it to see if it would help. Half a month later, Doudou’s mother found me again and happily said that she would report the phased results to me. Me: How about it? Do you still get \”beating\” at home? Doudou’s mother: Your method is indeed effective. Doudou basically doesn’t hit me anymore. He seems to understand that hitting is wrong, and I don’t like this kind of behavior. Me: That’s good. I don’t have to be called “domestic violence” anymore. Doudou’s mother: Haha, “domestic violence” still exists, and Doudou’s grandparents and father will still be beaten by Master Doudou. I think maybe their handling method is wrong. Next, I will introduce the method you taught to them. In this way, the problem of children hitting others can be solved. Me: Oh? So how do they deal with Doudou beating people? Doudou\’s mother told me in detail about the different ways of dealing with family members. After listening to it, I couldn\’t help but sigh: Sure enough, every child \”looks at others\”, and in line with that sentence, all the children\’s behaviors are The reason can be found in the parents. If your child is happy when he hits someone but handles it wrongly, are you sure you are not encouraging him? I have to say that some adults, such as Doudou’s grandmother, ask for it when they are beaten by children. Doudou\’s parents have to work during the day, and grandma mainly takes care of Doudou at home. The old lady loved her grandson very much, her eyes were full of doting, and she looked pleased with him everywhere. Even when Doudou reached out and hit her grandma, she said, \”Oh, my grandson is so strong. He will definitely not be bullied when he grows up!\” Later, Doudou\’s father told her that she couldn\’t spoil her child like this and had to tell him that it was wrong to hit someone. Grandma Doudou listened and did as she was told, but she was smiling when she said this. It was true that no matter how painful she was, she couldn\’t hide her smile. In fact, compared to language, expressions and tone will have a more direct impact on children. Every time Doudou hit her grandma, she got some feedback.The feedback was either complimenting or laughing. Doudou would naturally feel that grandma liked this kind of interaction. This is a game. It doesn’t hurt me anyway. You are still happy, so why stop? Repeatedly emphasizing on the mishandling of children\’s hitting, it is a kind of reinforcement and reminder that Grandpa Doudou is not as doting as Grandma Doudou. He often points out Doudou\’s shortcomings of hitting others, but it is too often. When Doudou\’s mother came home from work and stepped in the door, she said, Doudou hit someone again at home today; when Doudou was not obedient to eat, she said, Doudou was not only disobedient, but also beat people; Doudou was playing well, old man He also suddenly remembered to say, I don’t know where this kid learned it, he loves to hit people so much… The criticism was caught off guard, I am afraid the word \”beating\” has taken root in Doudou\’s heart. Being defined as a \”kid who loves to hit others\” all day long, Doudou easily strengthens this concept in his mind and develops in this direction. Furthermore, many times Doudou is doing other things, and the idea of ​​hitting someone doesn\’t come to his mind at all. Isn\’t being said like this just a reminder? Oh, yes, I love hitting people. I forgot to hit them right now, so I’ll hit them quickly. Doudou\’s father thinks that beatings should be stopped resolutely and never condoned. Since all the good words don\’t work, then do some more. Hard, let you know how powerful I am. So whenever Doudou hit his father, he would yell at her loudly, and sometimes he would spank Doudou on her little buttocks. Doudou, who didn\’t want to know how powerful I was, didn\’t stop obediently, but cried and beat him harder. So the scene that often happens between Doudou and his son is that the father scolds and the son yells, and the two of them get into a fight, which gets worse and worse. Naturally, Doudou\’s father would control the intensity of his movements, but Doudou would not. He struck harder and harder until Doudou\’s mother hugged him away. Doudou\’s mother said that looking at this scene, it was so sad. Obviously, Doudou\’s father\’s beating and scolding education did not have the desired effect, but had the opposite effect. why? Because children are rebellious, and the louder and fierce you are about not letting them do something, the more they will resist and want to show you what they do. Moreover, Doudou’s father’s rough behavior created a wrong model for Doudou to imitate. Dad can hit people, why can\’t I? Children may even feel that hitting people is a reasonable way to solve problems. The correct way to deal with a child hitting someone at home: Tell him firmly but gently that this is wrong. Since Doudou\’s mother came back from my place last time, whenever Doudou hit her, she would say to Doudou in a very serious tone, \”Mom, I know you.\” Now you are very angry (or want to make fun with your mother, depending on the reason why the child hit you at that time), so you hit your mother, but it is wrong to hit others, your mother hurts, and your mother does not like to be beaten like this. You need to say sorry to your mother, otherwise she will get angry (or propose other punishments such as confiscating toys). At this time, the child may not say sorry immediately, and may even continue to hit the person. When this happens, Doudou\’s mother will emphasize her tone and repeat reasonable words, and show anger or actually confiscate the toys, and impose the punishment just mentioned on Doudou. Often children seeWhen bad consequences are real, fear will arise. When Doudou ran over crying and said sorry, Doudou\’s mother held him in her arms tenderly and told him not to hit his mother again, because she loves you. This is an effective method that I personally tested on Liuliu. A serious attitude, firm handling, and gentle hugs will make children realize that hitting is an unwelcome behavior and will bring consequences that make them sad. It will also make children feel that even if they do something wrong, Even if you make your mother angry, your mother\’s love is still there all the time. The four members of Doudou\’s family dealt with Doudou\’s beating in a very representative way. Perhaps similar scenes will occur in many families. Although the starting point of educating children is the same, the expression methods are different, which leads to different behaviors and reactions of children. In fact, to put it simply, hitting others at home is a necessary stage in the growth of many children. Parents should regulate their words and deeds, set a good example, and at the same time not be arrogant, remind, label, or irritable, and provide appropriate education and guidance. This process can be effectively shortened. If you have children at home who love to hit others, you might as well give it a try.