Does your child not listen to instructions? Blame yourself for not being firm enough

One day, during dinner, because he was anxious to watch TV, Rooney quickly took two mouthfuls of food and was about to leave the table to turn on the TV. I immediately said to him: \”No! Finish the meal!\” He begged: \”Just let me Just watch for a while.\” I looked into his eyes and said firmly: \”No! You can only watch after eating!\” He looked at me for a few seconds and knew that I was not joking with him, so he walked back and finished his meal. . I found that children are really good at observing words and emotions. When they find that your instructions are not firm enough, they will definitely not listen to you. Some parents always say that their children are too willful and disobedient, but they never reflect on whether their way of speaking is effective. In life, I often observe two types of parents. When they give instructions to their children, they are like this: The first situation is that when talking to their children, their eyes are staring elsewhere. When talking and communicating with adults, we all know to look into each other\’s eyes from time to time to show respect and attention, but when talking to children, many parents forget this. Just imagine, when you are talking to your child, your eyes are staring at your mobile phone, TV, or other places. How can you make your child feel the power of your words and the importance you attach to him? How can he listen to you? ? No matter how young a child is, they can feel the power in their parents\’ eyes. I remember when Rooney first learned to walk, one time he walked to the TV socket and wanted to play. I was startled and immediately ran over, squatted down, picked him up, looked into his eyes, and told him: \”Baby, this is very interesting.\” Danger! Don’t play!” At that time, of course he didn’t know what danger meant, let alone why playing with sockets was dangerous, but he saw my mother’s worry and seriousness in my eyes, and he seemed to understand, and never did it again. Got close there. According to research, language actually accounts for only 7% of effective communication, while vision accounts for 55%. Vision includes body posture, gestures, eye contact, and overall deportment and behavior. Therefore, your every move and facial expression is eight times more powerful than the words you use, so we must be aware of their power and pay special attention to eye contact when communicating with children. The second situation is that the tone of speech is not firm enough and the action is not firm enough. Once, I took Rooney to play on the slide in the community and met a mother and daughter. The daughter is about three years old. Her mother looks very gentle, her eyes never leave her daughter, and she reminds her to slow down from time to time. After a while, the mother said, \”Baby, mommy is going to buy groceries. Can we leave in 5 minutes?\” The daughter responded with a \”hello\”. After a while, the time came, and the mother came over and said, \”Baby, five minutes are up, we should go.\” But the daughter was so excited about playing that she had no intention of leaving. She said coquettishly, \”Mom, I haven\’t had enough fun yet.\” Well, let me play for a while!\” The mother smiled and agreed: \”Okay, let\’s play for another 5 minutes, okay?\” Then, the 5 minutes passed, and the daughter still refused to leave, and the mother continued He smiled and said, \”Then we\’ll have to play for the last five minutes before we really have to leave, okay?\” The daughter nodded. However, things did not go smoothly, another 5 pointsThe clock passed, but my daughter still didn\’t want to leave. I was watching anxiously and thought: My mother is going to be angry now. Unexpectedly, the mother actually suppressed her anger and continued to nudge her daughter with a gentle voice. Finally, after another ten minutes, the daughter left with her mother angrily. At the beginning, this mother clearly told her child to leave in 5 minutes. This approach is worth learning. This can help the child who is having fun to be mentally prepared. I also use this trick often. But later, the mother had two problems: First, her tone of voice was not firm enough. Every word she said to the child was filled with \”Okay\” and \”Okay\”. On the surface, she was discussing with the child and showing respect for the child. In fact, such words had no power at all. Without powerful words and no boundaries, children will continue to test your bottom line. The second is that he did not stick to his principles later. He was too gentle but not firm enough, and he compromised with his children again and again. If you say you can\’t do it, how can you make your children listen to you? As parents, we must not only give our children respect and freedom, but also establish authority for our children. If you want your child to obey your instructions, the next time you talk to your child, look at him carefully, give your instructions firmly and clearly, and follow them resolutely.