Does your child not want to say hello to others? This is how I guide

\”I have a naughty boy who is almost two and a half years old at home. I have always adhered to the parenting concept of understanding and guidance. I always try to empathize and explain why I do what I do at home. Sometimes by diverting attention, I always feel that the baby\’s behavior at home But the communication is acceptable. But he has a problem that he doesn\’t like to say hello. I usually give priority to guiding in this matter, and I don\’t think it\’s good to force him. It\’s a bit embarrassing not to say hello when I go home during the Spring Festival, and my mother puts it This matter has escalated to a very serious level. It is said that this child is so rude. If he doesn’t correct himself at the age of three, it will be too late.” Children who are usually well-spoken do not like to say hello when they meet people they are not familiar with. This should be the case for many parents. problems that will be encountered. There are two key points in the comments: First, despite regular education, the child still does not like to say hello to others; second, the family feels that not saying hello is rude and a very bad thing. Why do children refuse to say hello? It is actually very simple to understand the reason, just look at yourself and you will know. When you meet someone you don\’t know well but know each other on the street, do you want to say hello from the bottom of your heart? Are the \”hello\” and polite greetings driven by the heart\’s wishes or are they constrained by etiquette? Do you often feel nervous, embarrassed or shy in front of strangers? Well, he is still just a child. When he sees a stranger, he must say hello and give him a kiss and a hug. For a child, this requirement is indeed a bit high. When Liuliu was more than two years old, I took her to a friend\’s house to play. As soon as she entered the house, her friend gave Liuliu a warm welcome. He handed her fruits and stuffed her with toys, but Liuliu didn\’t appreciate it and looked expressionless. Willing to get close. I said to Liuliu, this is my mother\’s good friend, and I can also be good friends with Liuliu. Auntie likes Liuliu very much, so she calls \”Hello Auntie\”, right? All kinds of sugar-coated bullets, Liuliu still remained silent. Let her be. I said nothing more. My best friend and I started chatting on the sofa. Liuliu was full of curiosity and cautiously exploring this new environment. He looked here, touched there, and asked from time to time, what is this? My friends responded gently. After about half an hour, Liuliu seemed to start to relax and started running around the room. A friend found a small rubber ball, and the three of us played a game of pushing and throwing the ball together. Liuliu giggled and was sweating profusely. The friend held her in his arms and wiped the sweat away. She didn\’t refuse, and she was just like when she walked in. That look of keeping strangers away was completely different from the other two. Before leaving, Liuliu took the initiative to wave his little hand and say \”bye\” to his friend. My friend said that at first I thought Liuliu didn\’t like me, but I said she just needed some time. Children need some time to become familiar with unfamiliar people and build goodwill and trust; children need some time to overcome fear and shyness and become more casual in greeting. What we need to do is give our children more time. How to provide correct guidance? Not forcing things doesn\’t mean letting things go. Targeted guidance is better help. Regarding how to guide children to say hello, Luo Luo summarized the \”three do\’s and three don\’ts\” tips and shared them with everyone. \”Three essentials\”: First, lead by example. One time Liuliu saw me holding the phone and said \”hello\”, and she also ran to talk to all her children.Each child said \”hello\” one by one. Children are all creatures who learn from each other. When we encounter relatives and friends who proactively and enthusiastically greet us, children will feel the pleasant atmosphere and slowly accept the behavior of saying hello. Second, communicate beforehand and encourage afterward. If I have a plan to visit a friend\’s house, I will tell Liuliu in advance who we will meet, and discuss it with her, and take the initiative to say hello when we meet, okay? If Liuliu greets someone, I will praise and praise her and encourage her to do the same next time. Adequate communication in advance can make children mentally prepared, and timely encouragement afterward will make children feel affirmed and gradually become more enthusiastic to say hello. Third, we must use picture books to make sense. I told Liuliu some picture books that encourage children to greet people, such as \”Hello Baby Bear\”, \”I Know How to Say Hello\”, \”Greeting Garden Animals\”, etc. After reading them, Liuliu always likes to imitate the plots in them. . Good picture books are also good teachers. Show children some picture books that help develop behavioral habits. The vivid and cute cartoon images will make children more willing to learn and imitate. \”Three don\’ts\”: Don\’t force or even threaten. I have seen some mothers tell their children that they will not buy toys for you until you call them \”Auntie\”. Not only did the child fail to comply with his mother\’s wishes, but he burst into tears, making the situation awkward. Children do not know how to weigh the pros and cons, nor do they understand the jokes of adults. Excessive coercion and threats only promote the development of rebellious psychology in children, and it is even more difficult to educate them. Second, don’t criticize in front of others. I once made a mistake. One time when Liuliu saw that my friend was unwilling to say hello, I casually said that this child is just like that. He never likes to say hello and will not listen even if he is taught. It was such an unintentional sentence, but Liuliu was holding his mouth, feeling aggrieved and very angry. In an instant, I felt that I had done something wrong. Although children are young, they still have self-esteem. Criticism in front of others will not have the slightest positive effect on education and progress. 3. Don’t jump to conclusions. Don\’t tell your children things like \”If you don\’t say hello, you\’re not a good child\” or \”If you don\’t say hello, your mother won\’t like you.\” Whether a child is a good child or not is not determined by saying hello, and a mother\’s love will not change at all because of this behavior. Jumping to conclusions hurts the child\’s self-confidence, and repeated inappropriate words can cause immeasurable damage. Is saying hello really that important? Parents are very happy to see their children greeting people proactively, as if this is a sign of modesty and courtesy, but children are often not so obedient, which makes some parents very annoyed. Does not saying hello mean that the child is not polite and uneducated? It\’s not just the parents\’ vanity that\’s causing trouble. The baby you bring out is like a work of art on display. It wants to be radiant and has no flaws. But don\’t forget, he is still a child, he will have emotions and make mistakes. What\’s more, the matter of saying hello or not is not a big deal in itself, and it cannot explain the child\’s future personality. Go home and ask our mother, how many of us didn’t have stage fright when we were young? When I grow up, I still have a good personality and good manners in all aspects. There is really no need to attach too much importance to the so-called \”face\”, respect the child\’s heart, accept all the performance of the child, only in this way can we raise our own baby well. In short, when dealing with children who don\’t like to say hello, you must understand the child\’s heart, be rational and strategic, and treat it indifferently. Etiquette is a process of self-discipline and respect for others expressed in certain conventional procedures in interpersonal interactions. Children need time to learn and adapt to this process, and what we have to do is give them more time and take their time.