\”Don\’t ban your children from playing with mobile phones, it\’s completely meaningless\”, a good article that has made countless parents reflect

It\’s only been a few days since the summer vacation, and I\’ve already heard many parents complaining that their children\’s mobile phones are always in their hands and it\’s too difficult to manage. We fight with our children every day. The less we let our children touch their mobile phones, the worse the situation will be. He secretly took the mobile phones of the elderly at home, hid in the toilet to play with them, and even borrowed old mobile phones from his classmates’ homes. Children playing with mobile phones is a long-standing problem. Every parent solves it in a different way, and the impact it has on their children is also different. Should it be banned? How should we manage it? Maybe if you look at this mother’s sharing, you will have a different answer. I triggered a \”family war\” by forbidding my daughter to play with mobile phones. Recently, a friend and her daughter, who is in the second grade of junior high school, had a very tense argument. The reason was that as soon as summer vacation arrived, her daughter begged her to get a mobile phone. Thinking that her daughter usually has to go to work and has a mobile phone to check in time for various assignments assigned by the teacher in the group, she agreed. But she didn\’t expect that after a few days, the situation was completely beyond her control. A few days ago, she came home from get off work and no matter how hard she urged her daughter to eat, she just couldn\’t hear her. When I walked into the room, I saw my daughter watching short videos, completely unaware of anyone around her. She immediately became angry, grabbed the phone, and warned her daughter, \”If you dare to play with your phone again, be careful, I will confiscate it.\” My daughter was so frightened that she said I didn’t dare anymore. However, that night, the friend once again discovered that her daughter stayed up late at night and kept chatting with her classmates on her cell phone. At this time, my friend was completely angry and took the phone away and forbade her daughter from using it again. As a result, my daughter also got angry and said that it was rare to relax during the summer vacation and share interesting things with her classmates. What big mistake did she make? But no matter what her daughter said, her friend never changed her mind. In the next few days, her daughter was angry with her and hid at her classmate\’s house every day, saying she was doing homework, but in fact she was playing with other people\’s mobile phones. The friend really had no choice but to keep asking her daughter: \”What\’s so good about the mobile phone? It makes her like a demon.\” Unexpectedly, her daughter\’s words left her speechless: \”Nowadays, school homework, test paper review, classmate communication…who doesn\’t use mobile phones? I occasionally watch short videos, but because of this, I am prohibited from using mobile phones. , Do you want me to be isolated from the world?\” My daughter\’s words made my friend reflect for a long time. After thinking about it, she realized: Now is the electronic age, mobile phones are indispensable everywhere, and it is completely meaningless to prevent her daughter from using mobile phones. In addition, the child has her own ideas. The more she opposes it, the more rebellious she becomes, which in turn damages the parent-child relationship. There is a \”white bear effect\” in psychology, which means that children are more likely to want to do things that they are told not to do. In particular, the reasons given by parents cannot convince their children, and ignoring the children\’s real needs is often more likely to lead to power struggles. Mobile phones have become a channel for parents to control their children, but they have also become an outlet for confrontation between children and their parents, with increasingly serious consequences. In the era of electronic products, it is unrealistic to blindly ban mobile phones. A teacher who has been teaching junior high schools for many years talked about mobile phones and had this opinion: Today’s children have been exposed to electronic products such as mobile phones and tablets since they were young. It is almost impossible to prevent them from playing with them. Instead of worrying about children becoming bored with toys and affecting their learning, it is better to know more about what children use mobile phones and what are the benefits of mobile phones. Indeed, even a 3-year-old child knows that mobile phones are fun, and they can listen to songs and watch animations with just a few clicks of their fingers.piece. When you are older, you will learn to use your mobile phone to shop, check information, give instructions to the AI ​​electronic products at home, take online classes, and chat with classmates. Mobile phones accompany the growth of this generation of children, which is a fact that parents cannot ignore. The impact of mobile phones on children must also be viewed in two parts. In the Internet era, in addition to games, there are also many real-time information and learning resources on mobile phones. If parents guide well and children use it well, they can also learn knowledge and skills that cannot be learned in the classroom. Do you still remember Zhang Yuxuan, a 15-year-old junior high school student who became popular on the Internet a few years ago? As a violinist, she likes to use her mobile phone to compose original music in her spare time. As soon as I have a melody inspiration in my mind, I record it immediately, arrange it myself, and use mobile phone software to add background sound and soundtrack. After recording the original sound, I asked a friend to mix it, and soon a brilliant song was born. The video \”How a Melody Becomes a Song\” she released on Station B made her instantly popular on the Internet, with more than 1.3 million fans. Although she is popular for playing mobile phones, she is not impetuous and her grades have always been among the top ten in the class. There are similar examples around us. A friend\’s child who is in the third grade of junior high school has used his mobile phone to listen to Japanese songs and watch Japanese cartoon videos since he was a child because he likes animation. I took a test at a Japanese language training institution some time ago and found that my Japanese level was close to N2 (the highest level in the Japanese Language Proficiency Test is N1). Even her mother was surprised. An organization in Beijing investigated the use of mobile phones by students in international schools. The results showed that in addition to studying, students mostly use electronic products to listen to music, chat with classmates or friends, and watch videos. Many of them read novels or literary works, watch competitions, create art, pay attention to news and various hot topics, etc. Some students even use their mobile phones to create self-media and start their own businesses. \”Playing games\”, which parents are most worried about, only ranks fifth. A few days ago, the video Internet community Bilibili announced the content consumption habits of users of different age groups. The results were equally surprising: the content most commonly viewed by those born after 2000 on Bilibili was mathematics and physics. It is undeniable that excessive addiction to mobile phones will indeed distract children from their study. However, a single vote to veto the convenience and cognitive improvement that mobile phones bring to children will largely isolate them from the technological era, suppress their thirst for knowledge, and restrict their more diversified development. Regarding the problem of mobile phones, I read a mother\’s sharing. She was worried that her son\’s use of mobile phones would affect his studies. She kept nagging her all day long, and her son found her annoying. Later, she decided to change her strategy and proactively asked her son what he was playing on his mobile phone. Unexpectedly, my son actually started chatting and shared what kind of music he listened to and how it differed from other music. Seeing that her son was speaking eloquently, Bao\’s mother asked him where all this knowledge came from, and her son proudly said that he learned it all on his mobile phone. Not only that, but his son also knew about Hawking\’s predictions, the magic of traditional Chinese medicine, and Qin Shihuang\’s method of seeking elixirs… Bao\’s mother greatly praised her son and said that she would no longer prohibit her son from playing with mobile phones in the future. Instead, set a relaxing time for playing with mobile phones. After completing the study tasks every day, the whole family can use their mobile phones to listen to songs, books, and watch documentaries… and they can also share and exchange some insights. Our children are destined to grow up with mobile phones. Simply banning them is useless. butIt’s not about letting children use mobile phones and overly trusting children’s self-discipline. Children are not prohibited from playing with mobile phones, but they must be helped to develop good usage habits, guide them to learn self-management, and enjoy the benefits of the screen age. Here, combined with the opinions of well-known parenting experts, we list three suggestions for \”managing children\’s mobile phones\”: 1. Make three chapters with your children to stipulate the time and place for playing with mobile phones. Brain science expert Wei Kunlin does this when helping her daughter control the screen: she limits the time her daughter spends watching electronic products each time and the total time she spends watching them every day. At first, when my daughter was still young, she could only watch it for 5 minutes. After she turned 5, it was extended to 10 minutes, and the duration should not exceed half an hour every day. At the same time, make it clear where electronic products are not allowed. For example, we will set up an \”electronic device-free zone\” at home, do not look at mobile phones during meals, and do not play with electronic products within an hour before going to bed. The best way to prevent children from losing control of their cell phones and losing control of themselves is to vaccinate them in advance and formulate healthy rules for the use of electronic products. When a child knows clearly what he can and cannot do, he will naturally have a ruler in his mind. When he grows up, he will know how to restrain himself. 2. Pay attention to what children play and help them identify and eliminate minefields. The Internet environment is complex, and parents must help check it before their children have enough discernment skills. Try to find out through various channels what children play on their mobile phones and what information they are exposed to. Frequently educate children about online safety knowledge. Tell your children: When using various apps, be sure to choose youth mode. Be sure to avoid any money-related activities involving transfers, clicking on small ads, winning prizes, etc. that require providing family members’ ID numbers and home addresses. Don’t chat with strangers online. If you make any uncomfortable comments online, tell your parents and ask them to protect you. There is no free lunch in the world, and there will be no free lunch. If there is, there is something fishy behind it, and you should tell your parents as soon as possible. In short, parents must be sensitive enough, care about the Internet environment their children are exposed to, and help their children use mobile phones healthily. 3. Guide children to make better use of mobile phones for learning. Talk to your children more about mobile phones and let them do valuable things with their mobile phones. For example, reading e-books, practicing English listening or watching online courses, searching for learning-related knowledge points and information, etc. If your child is interested in a certain aspect of learning, you can guide him to high-quality websites to find relevant videos or articles. Let children see the hidden \”treasure house\” of mobile phones and adjust their understanding of mobile phones. If they do not want their children to understand their mobile phones as a tool for playing games and entertainment, parents should also take care of themselves in front of their children, do not watch short videos or play games, and set an example. Shimi Kang, a well-known child psychiatrist, expressed this point of view in the best-selling book \”Screen Age: Reshaping Children\’s Self-Control\”: \”The impact of technology on children and adolescents cannot simply be judged as \’good\’ or \’bad\’. Judgment. If used properly, technology products can bring them incredible benefits. \”Children\’s problems cannot be easily solved by control and prohibition. What\’s more important is the parents\’ proactive actions and wise guidance. When we use the right method to build a layer of Internet immunity for our children, we can upgrade themWith better brain cognition, I believe he will be more comfortable embracing new things. No matter how ever-changing and dazzling the outside world is, he can still hold on to himself and keep pace with the times.