Don’t be a cheap mother, this is the greatest respect for your children

Last weekend, I took my 8-year-old daughter out shopping, and the child clamored for strawberry cake. So, we walked into a beautifully decorated cake shop with a dazzling array of products, including seven or eight kinds of strawberry cakes alone. My daughter was very excited and quickly selected a beautiful 6-inch cake. While I was queuing up to pay, the voices of a mother and daughter next to me caught my attention. The little girl, who looked to be about the same age as her daughter, kept begging her mother to buy her a cake, even the smallest one. But her mother disagreed and kept accusing her: You just know how to spend money indiscriminately. Is it easy to make money while I work hard every day? I can\’t bear to buy any clothes all year round. I\’ve been wearing my down jacket for 10 years. How dare you buy a cake? At this time, the clerk happened to come over with a plate of free tasting snacks. When the girl\’s mother saw this, her eyes lit up, and she carried the girl and walked over. \”Don\’t you want to eat? Come on, come on, let you eat as much as you can!\” He picked up the snack and stuffed it into the girl\’s mouth. The little girl turned her head away in anger, shouted \”I won\’t eat it\” and rushed out of the store. Upon seeing this, her mother grabbed a handful of samples and followed her out. My daughter and I were dumbfounded. After the final exam, parents’ first words are very important to their children. After walking out of the cake shop, my daughter gave me a rare hug and said to me: \”Mom, you are so kind.\” I touched my daughter\’s head, but I kept thinking about it. I was worried about the fate of the little girl just now. In fact, we often see mothers like this in life, who especially like to care about money. Or they deliberately live a tight life and often cry out in front of their children: It’s not easy for mom and dad to make money, so you have to save some money; I’ll buy you an ice cream that’s enough for mom to eat for a day, so you can’t waste it; go to the supermarket and be sure You have to taste enough before leaving. When buying vegetables, you always ask the stall owner to give you something. This kind of mother thinks she can get by, but she has a sense of cheapness all over her body. Writer Mader once told a story. There was a shabby-dressed woman visiting the snack street. She picked up various street snacks and stuffed them into her mouth on the pretext of tasting them first. Walking down the street, she filled her stomach without spending a penny. A child saw this and wanted to imitate this woman, but as soon as he stretched out his hand, the grandfather next to him hit him back. The child felt very wronged, and his grandfather said to him: If you imitate her, you will become poor. Once you become poor, it will be difficult to turn around. Many parents hope that their children will surpass themselves when they grow up and become successful and rich. But they ignore that it is difficult for poor parents to raise promising children. I have seen children who grew up in an atmosphere where their mothers cried about poverty. When he was a child, the most common sentence he heard was, \”It\’s not easy for your mother to raise you by herself when there\’s no money at home.\” So, when he went to the supermarket with adults, he didn\’t dare to look up because he was afraid of seeing his favorite snacks. That feeling of unworthiness has always been with him. Until today, when he goes to a consumption place, he will feel scared as long as he does not bring three times the money; as long as the illness is not serious, he does not dare to go to the hospital; when faced with the kindness of others, he will My first reaction was not relief, but that I didn’t deserve it. That sense of inferiority and lack was rooted in his heart and became a shadow that he could not shake off throughout his life. I\’ve also seen those who love to take advantage of others.A child raised by a mother. A netizen took a bus with his mother when he was a child, but her mother always tried to find ways not to buy him a ticket. Later, he went to study abroad and occasionally discovered that he could take the bus without swiping his card. Later, he simply got used to evading fares. As a result, just before graduation, he, who had excellent grades, was blacklisted for job hunting because of his bad record of fare evasion, and he could only return home in disgrace. Yu Minhong once said: It is difficult for us to find a child with a broad mind in a carefree family, and it is also difficult for us to find a child with elegance and purity in a mediocre family. A mother who feels cheap will never raise a child with a rich heart and elegant character. In life, there is also a common kind of mother who is very willing to give to her children, but is very \”harsh\” to herself. I saw a mother documenting her daily life online. One day she made dumplings. After making a batch, she served 20 dumplings for her son and 30 dumplings for her husband, letting them eat first. I continued to make dumplings, but there was not enough stuffing. I only made about 10 dumplings. I rolled the remaining dough into noodles and finished them by myself. After working for most of the day, I only ate a few dumplings and noodles, but I saw that the father and son were satisfied with the meal and had no complaints. In the end, she was full of emotion: \”Do people gradually become like this after becoming mothers?\” There are too many mothers who, after having children, become the ones who eat scraps and leftovers, as if they themselves are the same. Not worthy of eating anything good. For example, this mother said, \”After having two children, the mango meat belongs to the children, and I only deserve to eat the mango core.\” These mothers seem to be very great, and they are willing to sacrifice their own feelings for the sake of their children and family. But in reality, I only saw cheap self-impression. Will the children of such selfless mothers really be happy? No, it\’s very pitiful. Because the child passively becomes a \”deficit\”, no matter where he goes in the future, he will carry heavy guilt with him. The writer Gan Bei once told the story of a young female reader. Their family owns a house and a car in a first-tier city, and their annual income is over seven figures, which is definitely considered upper-middle-class. But her life was not comfortable at all, because her mother had an uncanny ability to make everyone feel guilty. For example, when their family first bought a house, her mother insisted on giving her the master bedroom, despite her repeated objections. But her mother refused, saying that she was the only child in the family and only wanted the best for her. She had no choice but to compromise and move into the master bedroom. But since then, her nightmare has come: every time her test scores are not satisfactory, her mother will scold her: \”You still don\’t study hard. In order to give you the best environment, the biggest room in the house has been given to you…\” \”When relatives and friends come to visit, my mother always takes the trouble to emphasize to others: \”The master bedroom of our house is given to her, what else does a mother like me do?\” Another example is that when the family eats hairy crabs in autumn, my mother refuses to move her chopsticks and says She doesn\’t eat seafood, and when we quarreled, she cried again: \”I can\’t even bear to eat the hairy crabs, so I keep them all for you…\” As time went on, my daughter collapsed and became overwhelmed. She even feared going home when she grew up. A mother’s painstaking efforts not only make her life miserable, but also give her childrenCauses huge mental pressure. The degree of happiness a mother can feel in her family is also the limit of happiness a child can feel in her family. If a mother lives a cheap life, it will be difficult for her children to be happy. An education expert once said: Most of the problems in children are a reflection of the problems in their parents. Sometimes, we see a person living very cheaply: he is particularly reluctant to spend money, feels guilty whenever he spends money, is always greedy for petty gains, and is short-sighted… It is very likely that he is deeply influenced by his family of origin. The mother is the person on whom the child relies the most and has a lifelong influence on the child. Don\’t be a cheap mother, it is the greatest respect for your children. So, how can mothers avoid feeling cheap? I think it can be summed up in one sentence: While you are enriching yourself, you are also enriching your children. First of all, mothers must learn to enrich themselves. I saw a video of a post-90s mother eating mangoes. The mother first peeled a mango for her 4-year-old son. The son took the mango and gnawed it with a satisfied look on his face. Next, she took out a giant mango that was several times bigger than her son\’s hand, which made people salivate. When the child saw it, he was dumbfounded. It turns out that this is a big mango that my mother bought specially for herself. This wave of funny actions attracted netizens to leave messages: \”No matter how sweet it is, it can\’t sweeten the child, and no matter how bitter it is, it can\’t hurt yourself\”; \”If you are poor, you can raise a son and a poor girl, but if you are rich, you can grow your body.\” Whenever you love your children, you must learn to love yourself. As a mother, you can be \”selfish\” and invest more in yourself: eat what you want to eat; buy what you like directly; and try hobbies that interest you. You can also take a vacation for yourself, put on a delicate makeup, meet some friends for afternoon tea, go shopping, and recharge your body and mind. Mother is like a big ship. Only with sufficient energy and energy can the ship be stable and the child can become a person with a rich heart. At the same time, don’t forget to raise your children richly. We must enrich our children with material things. It’s not about how much money you should spend on your children, but you should try your best to meet your children’s material needs within your own capabilities. Netizen @潇小西 said: When I was a child, my family was very poor, but my parents never gave me the feeling that \”the family is very poor and I am inferior to others.\” Every time the fruit supermarket downstairs sells Dandong strawberries, Shandong cherries, and ginseng fruits, my parents go and buy them for me. If they can’t afford a lot, they buy one or two. Although our family is poor, they strive to give me the best. So when I grew up, even if I saw expensive or novel things, I rarely felt like I didn\’t deserve them. Luo Yifeng, a contemporary of Guo Wanying, was Kang Youwei\’s granddaughter. She recalled being taken to the Summer Palace for a picnic by her mother when she was a child. While baking rosin toast, her mother told her: If you don’t have an oven, you can still bake delicious toast even if you use a wire or coal stove. Therefore, even if she encounters hardships and poverty later on, she still lives a noble, calm, strong and optimistic life. True enrichment is to use one\’s own words and deeds to convey to children good character, high-quality cultivation, and a positive spirit. Regardless of whether the family has money or not, parents can use structure and love to hold up a sky for their children.I have heard this saying: Some people wear street stall goods that cost tens of dollars, but everything looks like a famous brand. Some people are covered in famous brands, but they look cheap and vulgar. The \”nobility and wealth\” that infiltrate from the very core of a person cannot be concealed at all costs. As the soul of the family, a mother can live a free and stretched life with a broad perspective. Only by loving herself enough can she become a light, illuminating the road ahead for her child and helping him see the vaster sea of ​​stars. Click [Like], I hope we can all become such \”rich\” mothers, grow up with our children, and gain heartfelt satisfaction and happiness!