Don\’t destroy your child\’s pride just because you\’re afraid of it

Chinese people always value modesty as a virtue and are very reserved and unwilling to praise others too much. Many parents don\’t know how much of an impact this kind of self-effacement in the adult world will have on how they treat their children. My little nephew has just started kindergarten, and today\’s kindergarten is completely different from when we were children. It\’s not just about helping parents look after their children or learning a few common words. In order to enrich children\’s lives, kindergartens offer endless activities. Recently, my nephew\’s kindergarten has to arrange a program for parent-child activities. My cousin wants my nephew to perform on stage, but my nephew is not willing, and my cousin\’s persuasion for a long time is useless. My little nephew usually likes to play with me, because I don’t have any airs and won’t be aggressive with him, so I asked him why he didn’t want to perform on stage. The little nephew hesitated and said that if he didn\’t perform well, he would be laughed at by other children. I was also amused. Children also have to save face. I asked my little nephew if he had ever been laughed at by his teachers and classmates. He said no, it was his father who said that. My cousin\’s husband is a bit childish and loves to tease his son. He usually sings songs and draws pictures, and says he is not good here or there. Sometimes he makes the child cry, but he still enjoys it. His cousin told him that he also felt that children should not be too pampered, and that sons should be raised rough. Adults often feel that they are doing it for the good of their children and will never make mistakes. What adults don\’t know is that their stingy praise will cast a shadow on their children that they can\’t do anything well, and even this childhood shadow will accompany the children throughout their lives. I have a friend, Xiao Wen, who is a very pretty girl. With a little grooming, she becomes the kind of girl who turns heads when she goes out on the street. But she lives a very simple life and doesn\’t like to dress up. When we compliment her on her beauty, she always thinks that we are making fun of her and tells us to stop talking. We all wonder why she doesn\’t realize how beautiful she is. It turns out that Xiaowen was brought up by his grandma. The older generation was very strict with girls and would not bother to dress them up. When the neighbors praised the child\’s good looks, Xiaowen\’s grandma often said that Xiaowen was not good-looking, that his forehead was too big, his chin was too pointed, and he was unlucky. \”My sister-in-law, she knows how to love beauty if she doesn\’t study hard.\” \”Anyone on the street will be prettier than you.\” At the age when Xiaowen just knew about beauty and ugliness, he was instilled in him day after day by relatives whom he trusted wholeheartedly. Unsightly concept. This idea directly affected her life and love. Xiaowen didn\’t dare to accept the pursuit of outstanding people, and he was unwilling to spend time to really dress himself up. In his beautiful youth, he just silently felt inferior. With a character like Xiaowen\’s, he also missed many opportunities in his life. He was unwilling to communicate with others in front of the stage and could only do some behind-the-scenes work. Often we do the most and get very little in return. The education she received since childhood made her feel that she was not that good and did not deserve better rewards. Many of us have experienced this kind of thing when we were children. When we got the ranking in the exam or were selected to perform, we went home excitedly and told our parents. Your parents will look at your ranking and ask if there is anyone who has done better than you. They want to learn from others, but this timeDoing well on the test doesn\’t mean anything. Also when you are chosen by the teacher to do something, you will feel that maybe this is just a thankless job, otherwise why would you be chosen? Why can\’t parents simply praise their children? Why shouldn\’t they be proud of their children? Maybe this is just a common little thing for parents, but in the tiny world of children, everything is worth remembering. When your child does something right, if you don\’t care or even dismiss what he did, he may not know that he did the right thing, and he will lose an opportunity to develop good habits. If parents just accuse and severely criticize their children when they make mistakes, it will also have the effect of making their children remember their mistakes. But it is more likely to make children become timid and have low self-esteem, and dare not do things in order not to make mistakes. I think this is what parents do not want to see. After I grew up enough, I once asked my parents why they didn\’t praise me when I had good grades as a child. My parents said they were afraid that I would be proud and stop studying hard. But I know that my parents\’ praise will become my motivation to work harder. Don\’t ruin your child\’s chance to be proud of you just because you\’re afraid of him being proud. When you want to praise your children, there are certain tricks. Appropriate praise will have the effect of getting twice the result with half the effort. 1. Praise your own children in public, instead of just praising other people\’s children, let alone belittle your own children just to praise other people\’s children. Moreover, the focus should be on praising children\’s character and quality in public rather than showing off their children with various achievements and honors. 2. When praising, be specific to a certain thing, not a general compliment. For example, if your child does not have an adult to wake him up in the morning today, you can praise him for being a very hard-working child and for being a good child. 3. Don’t praise your child before doing something. For example, if your child is going to perform in a performance competition and you say that your child will definitely get first place, it will increase the psychological pressure on your child. It is better to praise your child\’s seriousness and hard work after it is over. 4. Material rewards should be used appropriately. Many parents like to use prizes and travel to make promises. This method can sometimes get twice the result with half the effort. However, excessive prizes will make people focus on the prize rather than the behavior itself, so we should focus on cultivating interest in the event itself. I hope all children will grow up healthily and happily and become the pride of their parents.