Don\’t expect others to take care of your children

Witnessing the growth of a little life, my heart is full of gratitude, that\’s all. ——Xin’s mother The young couple who live above my house love to quarrel and are famous in the whole building. Sometimes at two or three o\’clock in the middle of the night, the couple would suddenly start a \”war\”, swearing, throwing pots and bowls, or even getting into a fight. Their two-year-old son was so frightened that he cried. There was a lot of quarreling, but there was only one reason: the man\’s parents didn\’t come to take care of the child. When they didn\’t have children, the two of them lived happily together, and the mortgage and car loan were not a problem. But since they had a child, my parents-in-law guarded the few acres of thin farmland in the countryside and refused to come to the city to live permanently. They said, \”Put the child back home and I will take care of it for you.\” The wife did not want to send the child back to her hometown to be a \”left-behind child\”, so she had no choice but to become a stay-at-home mother. As a dual-income family becomes a single-income family, financial pressure arises, and the relationship between husband and wife also becomes vulgar and bad along with \”money\”. She complained: \”My parents have to take care of my brother\’s twins and they can\’t take care of me. My parents-in-law are not very old and in good health. I don\’t understand why they don\’t help us take care of the children, let alone why my husband doesn\’t go.\” Convince them. When I think about this, I twist into a knot in my heart and feel that they owe me!\” It can be seen that she is very painful about this, and even fell into the trap of \”You don\’t take care of the children for me, I will follow You are not done yet\” quagmire. In fact, \”the melon that is forced is not sweet.\” Trying to change people and things that cannot be changed will only consume a woman\’s limited energy. Instead of complaining and arguing all day long, think more about how to spend quality time with your children. What\’s more, because of this, I have been arguing with my husband all day long, which not only hurts the relationship between the couple, but also creates a family atmosphere full of gunpowder for the children. Why bother? The gain outweighs the loss! It\’s better for people to have some backbone in life – if you don\’t help me take care of the child, then I will take care of it myself, and I will also raise him well. If she \”got angry\” in this way, she would surely find another life. My college roommate F had been married for many years, but due to habitual miscarriage, she had failed to get pregnant many times. Finally, I finally gave birth to my son after trying so hard to preserve the pregnancy! The whole family was so happy that they hired a high-priced confinement nanny who was said to be very experienced to take care of the confinement and take care of the baby. When the baby was one month old, I excitedly went to visit them with gifts, only to find that the new mother looked haggard and depressed. It turns out that after the baby was born, he slept with the confinement nanny, and the whole family was quite satisfied and relieved. But when the baby was 26 days old, the confinement nanny resigned and left for unknown reasons. This was a huge departure. In the next few days, the baby kept crying and refused to be held by anyone. He got very little sleep and the quality was not good. New mommy F was at a loss for what to do. She was so busy that she didn\’t even get a good rest. She felt so annoyed that she was about to suffer from postpartum depression! He simply made it clear that he did not want to take care of the children. What’s even more confusing is when I asked F: “Many people don’t have breast milk and are trying every possible means to induce lactation. Why would you rather take milk-feeding pills than give your baby breast milk? What a pity!” She said: “Because Anyone can feed me milk powder! I want to go to work as soon as possible and don’t want my baby to be too attached to me, so I don’t dare to breastfeed or even hold him.” I couldn’t help being surprised: “You are not short of money, why are you in a hurry? Go to work?\” She said: \”Several people are eyeing my position. If I don\’t go back, I will be completely ignored.Hiding it, my parents-in-law are willing to take care of the child for me anyway. Besides, we will send our son abroad in the future, and there will be a lot of money to spend. It’s hard for my husband to work alone! \”Because she was afraid that the baby would be too dependent on her, so she deliberately didn\’t get close to her child?! I think F probably said it casually because she hadn\’t adapted to her role as a mother yet. But later, she didn\’t even finish her 3-month maternity leave, and she really went I went to work. Now the baby is less than half a year old, and he lives alone at his grandparents\’ house. The couple goes to see him every weekend. I feel really sorry for this child. What is the difference between this child and left-behind children… You have gone through all kinds of hardships to become a child. You get a little angel, but you hand him over to someone else when your baby needs you most. You don’t even know whether he sleeps well or how many times he drinks milk every day. Is it worth it, no matter how high the position or the amount of income? Yes? For children, nothing can compare to a mother’s warm embrace! In the eyes of my relatives and friends, I am a very “cooking” mother. Because I refused my parents-in-law’s offer to help me take care of my children and gave up my high-paying job, feeling at ease. Spending the money my husband earns, I am \”promising\” to take care of the children at home. Moreover, I am exhausted from raising the children by myself: feeding the children, playing with them, sleeping with them, making complementary foods, doing housework, and cleaning up the children anytime and anywhere. On-site\”, every nerve cell must be tightened at all times to ensure the safety of the baby. In order to give the baby \”37°C love\”, I have worn loose and shapeless nursing bras for more than two years as I love beauty; I have put them away since I was pregnant. I wore my favorite lipstick and high-heeled shoes, and wore sneakers for walks without a face. My peaceful and confident smile became my best cosmetic. A friend once asked me, if you have been out of society for at least three years, will you be out? Yes. Will I never be able to catch up with my original footsteps? Yes, as a stay-at-home mother, of course I am afraid of being separated from society, and I have also been confused due to suspending my career. Fortunately, the Internet is unprecedentedly developed, and learning resources are abundant. In the dead of night Every time I read a few pages of books and listen to my favorite online lectures, I feel much more at ease. Therefore, as long as I don’t want to, I will not be closed off. Of course, financial pressure is an unavoidable topic. Provide a house and car. The child\’s favours, all the pressure is on the child\’s father alone. Fortunately, the husband wiped the sweat from his head and said: \”Daughter-in-law, thank you for being my \’Minister of Finance\’. Don\’t worry, I can still hold on!\” \”We have carefully weighed it. Three years of being a stay-at-home mother has given me a happy childhood for my child and allowed me to learn to follow my child\’s footsteps and listen to my own heart. I really feel that it is so worth it. Seeing my child healthy and happy makes me appreciate the world around me. The things he taught me were full of love and curiosity, and all my hard work and grievances disappeared. Witnessing the growth of a little life, my heart was full of gratitude, that\’s all.