Don\’t get angry at the child, he will lose his spirituality

\”Did you secretly play with the iPad again?\” \”Why didn\’t you do all your homework? Are you looking for trouble?\” \”What on earth did I do to torture me after giving birth to you!\” When I came home from get off work a few days ago, my boss asked I could hear my neighbors roaring in the distance. As soon as I walked upstairs, I saw my neighbor angrily pushing his son out of the house and making him stand. I tried to persuade my neighbor to speak up, but she said, \”This kid just deserves a beating. You can\’t educate him without getting angry!\” Looking at the boy\’s lowered head, I had a different idea. Education expert Chen Heqin said: \”Children\’s young minds are easily bruised, and any rough and arbitrary education method is inappropriate.\” Sometimes, educating children and getting angry seems to have immediate results. You vented your emotions and the child obeyed your will, as if the problem was solved. What you don’t know is that losing your temper at your child is a rough way to smooth out your child’s nature and make him lose his spirituality. The angrier you get, the stupider your children will be. In the variety show \”Super Parenting\”, there is a mother with a bad temper. The process of tutoring her son to do homework is simply suffocating: as soon as she hesitates, she gets angry and scolds her children. As soon as her son couldn\’t do it, she slapped the table and roared: \”Have you used your brain to do your homework? Do you want to become a waste?\” Her son was obviously frightened and kept making mistakes in his homework. The mother couldn\’t bear it anymore, so she found a whip and beat her son while talking about the topic. But my son\’s brain seemed to be stuck and he just couldn\’t understand. The mother hates that iron cannot become steel, and she doesn’t know why her son is so stupid. When she is angry, the child will be highly nervous and full of fear, and the brain will stop thinking at this time. If a child is in this state for a long time, the brain will become unresponsive and the learning effect will naturally be unsatisfactory. Research by Martin A. Teicher, associate professor at Harvard Medical School, shows that children who have been yelled at by their parents for a long time have a significant reduction in the size of their hippocampus and corpus callosum. The child\’s memory and reaction speed decrease, which directly affects the child\’s IQ. CCTV recommends more than 500 high-scoring documentaries. After watching it, the child becomes addicted to self-discipline. This is why her child’s grades were okay when he was in first and second grade, but now they are getting worse. Not only is he at the bottom every time, but he also often takes exams. The reason for zero points. Your anger will not speed up your child\’s brain, it will just shut down your child\’s brain. \”The more children are scolded, the stupider they become\” is never a joke. Parents\’ bad temper is the biggest stumbling block for children\’s learning. The angrier you get, the lower your child\’s self-esteem will be. Someone once asked on the Internet: \”What impact does being yelled at often have on your children?\” Blogger @ Du Gutianxia said: It will plant the seeds of low self-esteem in children\’s hearts. Since childhood, it was common for bloggers to be beaten and scolded by their parents. She accidentally broke the bowl, and her mother came up and roared: \”Are you a pig? You can\’t even hold the bowl!\” If she failed in the exam, her parents would lose their temper and scold her for being unable to hold up the wall with mud. One time, she just forgot to say hello to her mother\’s friend, and was scolded by her mother all the way, scolding her for not getting good grades, for being rude, ignorant, and uneducated. Every word her parents yelled when they were angry was deeply imprinted on her character. Now she has a master\’s degree,Employed by a Fortune 500 company, she combines beauty and talent. But she is used to self-deprecation, always feeling that she is inferior to others, a bit of a pleaser, and living a timid and cautious life. It was this caution that caused her to miss many opportunities for promotion, and she is still working in a basic position. There is a saying: Parents\’ bad temper is a deadly poison. When parents are angry, derogatory and hurtful words will inevitably come out of their mouths. Sometimes, even if they don\’t say anything, their parents\’ actions and attitudes silently convey a meaning: You are really bad. Losing your temper is the biggest enemy of educating children. Your anger cannot help your children learn any lessons or principles, it will only sweep them into a dark whirlpool of emotions. They accept everything adults say and turn them into their own ideas: I am not good, I am not good. When a child\’s sense of value and self-confidence are gradually destroyed, the inferiority complex engraved in his bones will take away all the child\’s vitality. The angrier you get, the more emotionally hurt your child will be. I once watched a video. When a mother educates her son, she always gets angry easily. In order to make the mother realize her mistake, the program team took the mother to a sound experience place and let her listen to her roar when she was angry. Sure enough, when her own yelling and cursing continued to penetrate her eardrums, her mother was soon frightened by her own voice. She covered her ears tightly and shrank her whole body together. Yelling and cursing are lethal. Every yell and every blow that parents blurt out when they are angry does not seem to cause any physical harm to their children. In fact, it can leave psychological and emotional scars on the child. And this is why after their parents get angry, many children will have dull eyes, remain silent, and look confused. A netizen once described the feeling of being yelled at by his parents: \”My mother is like a pile of dry firewood, which ignites at a moment\’s notice. She gets angry several times a day when she disagrees with her. When she is angry, her yelling is sharp and harsh. I I just felt like there was a buzzing sound in my head, and it was like I couldn\’t hear any sound in my ears. Her expression was angry and fierce, and I just felt like my whole body was about to be torn apart, and I was so flustered that I couldn\’t breathe. This feeling of injury, every time I think about it, , there will be a dull pain in my heart.\” If parents are impulsive, their children will be internally injured for a lifetime. I can\’t help but think of what senior international journalist Zhou Yijun said: \”Once emotions burst out, no matter how many apologies you say later, it will be useless. Look at his silence, but actually there are many things in his heart.\” Emotions will only trigger more Vicious emotions. Parents losing their temper at their children will only make them feel nervous, fearful, helpless, depressed, and even heartbroken and desperate. And if a child is torn apart by these negative emotions for a long time, his energy will be exhausted and he will have no energy at all. When life has no vitality, how can there be spirituality in the body? As a parent, I believe that no parent really wants to get angry with their children. If we couldn\’t control our emotions and couldn\’t do anything about our children, how could we have the heart to yell and yell at our children? However, for the healthy growth of your child, you must get rid of bad temper: Dr. Ronald, an emotion management expert, said: \”Storm-like temper\”Anger often lasts no more than 12 seconds. \”Therefore, when you feel that your anger is about to explode, call it quits in time, interrupt the current emotion, jump out, and your reason will slowly gain the upper hand. There are three best ways: you can use the \”escape from the scene method\” , that is, temporarily leave the \”scene of the incident\” and let your emotions gradually ease; you can also force yourself to hold back and count silently from 1 to 10, and your anger level will gradually decrease; you can also use the ancient method to increase the level of anger. Just make a few \”nodding\” movements at the moment of your forehead, and your emotional level will immediately drop. By learning to press the pause button on bad emotions, we can learn to control our emotions. Only by controlling bad emotions first can we calm down and solve the problem itself. Losing your temper is an emotional expression, and what we need to learn is to express bad emotions. Educator Lorna Reina summed up a universal formula for parents: express feelings + state facts + raise expectations. That is: My feeling is X, Because you did Y, please do Z. For example, if your child is too lazy to do his homework, you can express it like this: I am really angry (feeling) because in the past hour, you either drank water or went to the toilet with something. After fussing around, not a single question in the homework has been finished (fact). You\’d better follow the plan and finish the homework within the specified time before doing other things (expectation). This kind of expression can make children clearly understand Understand: why your parents are angry, what you did wrong, and how you should correct it next. When we get used to being calm before expressing our emotions, after a while you will find that your emotions will become more and more peaceful, and you will be in harmony with your children\’s emotions. The relationship is becoming more and more harmonious. If you can\’t hold it back for a while and your temper breaks out, there is no need to blame yourself, because everyone makes mistakes. All we need to do is to correct it. First of all, we have to apologize to our children. Because, compared to you getting angry and yelling , the child is more afraid that you no longer love him. You have to tell him: \”Mom loves you very much, but she can\’t help but be angry, but she will try to control her emotions next time.\” \”Then review the situation in a timely manner, record and track what happened, and summarize the experience. Just like a child needs a wrong question book to register when he makes a wrong question, parents also need a \”wrong question book\” to help correct their mistakes after they get angry. \”Wrong question You can refer to the following table for the record of \”Ben\”: It is difficult to control a good temper, but as long as we are willing to work hard, we will succeed. Fan Deng said that the reason why your child can reconcile with you after being yelled at is not yours. There are many effective educational methods, but it’s because children love us far more than we love our children. Children’s attachment to their parents is absolutely natural. I hope parents can understand: No matter how big-hearted and cheerful a child is, he cannot bear it. Stop your roaring and hurting again and again. If we love our children, we should not let our bad temper hurt his spirituality, let his eyes lose light, his heart lose love, and his life lose vitality. Control Good mood, and strive to create a warm, relaxed, and harmonious family environment for children. Only then can we give children the sunshine, rain and dew they need to grow, and help children grow up freely, freely, and confidently. Give it a thumbs up, and hope every child can keep it. The spirituality of life leads to a better life.